Torture your fellow dopers!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

:brings out cattle prod (the one with the extension cord, not the one that runs on ‘D’ cells):

Trip ME?!?! TRIP ME?!?! C’mere, ya little so-and-so!

:ties Jester upside down, dangling from nearest tree branch:
:applies fully operational cattle prod to vital and sensitive areas of Jester’ body:

How d’ja like that?
More?
More voltage?
Suuuuuurrrre! No problem!
Anything for you, dear!
[muttering]
Make me come back here from GQ. Why I oughta…
[/muttering]

ZAP
<crackle>
<crackle>

[aside to Jester]
Oh, by the way, how was 12th Night?
[/aside to Jester]

22

Hah! Got off the table before my hand went into the meat slicer (a la James Bond, if you will)

AND it’s my 666th post! Woo-hoo!

Jekeira, I stick explosives up your ass. When you’re cremated, you’ll blow up and kill your entire grieving family!

screech-owl, I’m locking you in a room with a constant loop tape of “Al Gore’s Most Exciting Speeches on the Environment” on it! You’ve got nothing to read in there but transcripts of those Cuban Radio Number Broadcasts!

23

[sub]Cool, now I can finally learn Spanish in my sleep! Yeehaw![/sub]

[hysterical fit, thrashing and babbling]
Oh, what! Oh nooooo!!! Please please please!!! Not that! Nooooooooooo!!! Anything please gawd anything but thaaaaaaaaaat! Noooo!!! That’s against the outlines set forth in the Geneva Convention!! Noooo!!! Waaaaaaaaa!!!
[/hysterical fit, thrashing and babbling]

[sub]uno cinquo…tres…uno…quatro…zzzzz[/sub]

24 
Uh, can someone take Jester aside for a little talk? You know, the one about indoor vs. outdoor plumbing....:D
25

:hands cattle prod out the window to lurkernomore
Be my guest. I left him on the tree.

[sub]onze…And in conclusion…cinquo…uno…zzzz[/sub]

26

Well, I have a comfy chair, and a whole lot of soft cushions. Who wants to get poked? :smiley:

27

Welfy, I would tie you up and tourture you like a bad little welf. But I know you would enjoy that too mcuh :slight_smile:

28

“Silo ties Silverfire to some train tracks.”

:points and laughs:

<Bwahahahahaha!heehee!>

[[Slvrfire begs to be freed!]]

:Silo agrees…ONLY if she proclaims her undying live for the Vikings:

[[Slvr doesn’t answer!]]

:Silo pulls out his cell phone:

:Calls Amtrak and tells them that the main line has freight train traffic, they must re-route all southbound trains onto the secondary line!:

:Silo feels all warm and fuzzy:

:stuck_out_tongue:

[/quote]

:Silo throws “pine cones” at Welfy:

29

Places Barry Manilow CD in SDMB giant audio system. Turns volume to 46. Presses ‘Play’.

Runs.

30

Hey, Silo. :rolleyes:

31

:wally

32

But I’m still your favorite :wally See? You DO want me!

33

::Swiddles stands, adjusts her skirt, and clears her throat::

NEAAAAR
FAAAAAR
WHEREEEEEEVER YOU ARE…

yea, my job here is done.

34

Oooh! I didn’t mean to get you all hot and bothered!

35

:Silo gives Swiddles a Titanic can of whoopass!:

36

The day you get me all hot and bothered is the day I get a sex change and start requesting that people call me “Martin”.

37

:breaks out of locked room through wall:
:chases Swiddles in an attempt to silence “The Unholy Song That Must Not Be Named”:

:stops:
:curls into fetal position:

You horrid, horrid non-human misbegotten whelp of a mutant sea-cow!! (Nothing personal, mind you.)

:bangs out the word “UNCLE” repeatedly on the keyboard in a futile attempt to cleanse her brain of “TUSTMNBN”:

UNCLEUNCLEUNCLEUNCLEUNCLEUNCLEUNCLEUNCLEUNCLEUNCLEUNCLE!!!

:whimpering:
[sub]make it stop. please oh gawd make it stop. merciful fountain of love make it stop[/sub]

You win. Leave my quivering carcass anywhere far from “That Song”

[sub]Did I mention I really despise “TUSTMNBN”?[/sub]

38

grins maniacally And locks screech-owl in a theater and forces him to watch movies that feature Joe Don Baker and Doctor Laura in nude sex scenes!

39

Um, then you best be gettin’ that sex change. :wink:

40

Silo: :rolleyes: I cannot stress that enough.