Sure. I just don’t know how often that happens in the presence of some effort to build consensus. I doubt it happens as often as people think that it happens.
Of course, the history of the hidden children in Holland is very interesting and is still being explored. But in truth, baptism of a jewish child by a christian is not exactly the same thing as baptism of a catholic child by his catholic grandmother, is it?
I don’t get this part. Who are you building consensus with? Why would discuss your choices with anyone except your husband? If you want to be vegetarian or Buddhist or nudists, and want to raise your children that way, what’s to discuss? You do have the ultimate power and no one else needs to be on board. What if everyone but your husband was against it? Surely it wouldn’t change your decision, would it?
I think this has become de-railed. Maybe a thread could be set up in Great Debates about the baptism (or meat-giving) without permission.
Endemic - I think your wife was a little hasty or paranoid, given your previous conversations about raising the child. However, she’s still the one you’re married to, and you need to support her. If your mother takes that as “abandoning” her, that’s your mother’ sproblem.
StG
When I have kids, they will be raised Jewish and not Christian. I have discussed this with Mr. Neville. Anyone else gets the choice of being supportive of this decision or not. However, that decision does have consequences. I think it’s entirely reasonable to keep the kids away from any relative who does not choose to be supportive of how I have chosen to raise them. I think parents in general have the right, within reason (like, not in cases of abuse or something like that), to keep their kids away from people who try to undermine how the parents are choosing to raise the kids. That might mean something like not letting the kids go play at a house where kids are allowed to watch things on TV that you don’t want your kids watching, or not letting them play at a house where guns are not secured away from kids to your satisfaction. That’s true whether the people undermining your parenting are relatives or not.
I also think it’s entirely reasonable, in an interfaith relationship, to choose one religion to raise the children in. Raising them as both is a reasonable choice, but it isn’t the only reasonable choice here. Clearly, any such children will be exposed to the other religion, but I think the parents have the right to say they will not be raised to identify or practice as the other religion. That means, if you’re a Jewish-Christian couple and decide to raise the kids Christian, you don’t have to circumcise the boys. If you’re a Jewish-Christian couple raising the kids Jewish, you don’t have to have them baptized. Other relatives have the right to let the parents know what they think about this decision, but they don’t have the right to sneak around behind the parents’ backs and baptize or circumcise the kids.
So far, my parents have been quite supportive of my decision to convert to Judaism. I’m hoping there will be no trouble when there are kids, since they’re reasonable people. But I’ve thought about what would happen if there were problems, as everyone in an interfaith relationship who’s planning on having kids should.
You are right, I am sorry. I won’t do it again.
Yeah, I probably do need to communicate better, starting with this board! **Legalsnugs **has it right except that my wife and I both told my mom A (i.e. we were considering the options of baptism). The breakdown was us not telling my mom later that we had decided against baptism. My wife was involved at all stages. But I don’t think that changes the analysis much…
Pronouns are sooooo important around here… :rolleyes:
No probs Marienee. I appreciated your insight and learned some things too!
Pronoun trouble! It’s not “He doesn’t have to shoot you now”, it’s “He doesn’t have to shoot me now”.