News about bestiality I can handle, however warped it is. But this…
Why did the zoo have a cow ?
Some ignorance should just be left alone.
For me, the most disturbing aspect of this story is that the deceased was a Boeing engineer. Next time you fly, your safety will have been determined in part by someone who hadn’t fully considered the dynamics of a horse’s penis in the human rectum
Tait: Can’t come in to work today.
Boss: Sorry to hear that. Got the flu?
Tait: Nah, I’m just feeling a little horse.
Ba dum bump…
Well, I guess we’ll have to amend the answer to that perennial question: Are there really any snuff porno films? Now there’s one.
Wow - that takes me back.
Too bad Uncle Larry & Little Tommy aren’t still around doing Animal Stories…
[Little Tommy]
OK, so the guy’s dead. But is the horse O.K. Uncle Larry?
[/LT]
I wonder if he can turn this into successful new career.
“Hi, I’m James Michael Tait. You might remember my arrest after sneaking into a barn to have sex with a horse. You probably wondered why I would do such a thing. Well, wonder no more! I explain everything from how I first began to lust after stallions, to who did what to who and how in my lecture ‘Ride Me, Baby!’ Tickets are sure to go fast. So hurry up and call. I’m sick and you know you want to hear about it!”
Eventually, he’d end up on Letterman.
Those city folk. . .
[shakes head in bemusement]
Maybe he could make some scratch serving as a consultant to actors intending to take on the role of Alan in Peter Shaffer’s Equus. I doubt there’s a lot of competition for that.
One of my friends has dated two women who loved horses in ways that most horse-lovers don’t. One put it on videotape for her later viewing enjoyment, which my friend found in her closet–it was relabeled and hidden in the box for Blade Runner. Needless to say, he was a little surprised at the movie he saw. The other one offered (several times) to put on a show for him at the farm. He declined. Presumably both girls were healthy and sustained no damage to their genitalia or other body parts, as he certainly would’ve noticed.
You’d think they’d know better in Chicago, of all places!
I know that I shouldn’t be surprised anymore by anything sexually related I read on tis board, but still… :eek: :eek:
And I can help wondering…how exactly did they manage to achieve such a thing???
I was even more lost at first … I read it as “fatal horse-sex cake”.
In case anyone was wondering, the tune to the song Inigo Montoya brought up is “Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport”. (No, really).
[spoiler]Give it deep to a sheep, boys, give it deep to a sheep …
We also sang :
Give head to the dead, boys, give head to the dead …
(Necrophilia’s best)
[/spoiler]
Because it wouldn’t listen to Bart Simpson, of course! 
Didn’t Big & Rich have a song about this a couple years ago?
<hums> Save a horse, ride a cowboy.
I don’t mean to stirrup trouble or come off all whinny, but I’m bridling at the lowbrow puns in this thread – and I just don’t think I’m gonna bend over and take it any more. Something’s gone seriously arrears when us Dopers stoop this low. When you wallow in muck like this to sow your wild MPSIMS oats, nothing good can come from it, and such threads never amount to much. Let’s face it, penetrating material this ain’t.
So put a leash on it and sod off. Don’t make me put my foot down (several times, if necessary), people!
Here’s hoping they sentence him to make speeches to high school students about why it’s wrong to do what he did. That’d shake those kids up pretty good.
Of course not! Tait didn’t even call the next morning.
Rectum? Damn well killedum!
~d & r~
Well git on yer horse and ride 
Two legs good, four legs bad.
There really is an ee cummings poem for every occasion.
"the way to hump a cow is not
to get yourself a stool
but draw a line around the spot
and call it beautifool
. . .
the way to hump a cow is not
to elevate your tool
but drop a penny in the slot
and bellow like a bool"
I’ve no idea what half of it means, but I’m amazed.