Give head to the dead, boys, give head to the dead …
(Necrophilia’s best)
Have you heard the new motto of the National Association for the Preservation of Necrophilia?
“Crack open a cold one!”
I was worried no one would get it!
Tweaking means taking methamphetamine. I’ve done all three at some point in my life, including various other combinations of illicit substances, and never, ever, ever had the desire to have sex with a horse–or, for that matter, any other non-human entity.
All these posts and not one reference to Catherine the Great?
I mean, sure, it probably never really happened…but the legend lives on.
That was my first thought, too. Apparently, despite my observations, sometimes I still assume that people won’t sink to certain levels of stupidity. I’ve got to stop doing that.
It’s not so hard to understand, really. Clearly the man simply misunderstood the axiom, “After you’ve had a twenty-inch horse-cock up your ass, you’ll never want anything else up there again.”
Strangers breaking in at night to bugger their beasts? Any zookeeper would have a cow! 
But don’t try those tricks with the hedgehog!
http://sniff.numachi.com/~rickheit/dtrad/pages/tiHEDGEHOG;ttDUNDEBON.html
This is good a place as any to share with you this ancient chestnut (ancient, necessarily, in that the game show Password (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054560/) went off the air in 1975). Queen Elizabeth II is a celebrity guest on Password:
MC: Yes, Your Majesty, “constitutional monarchy” is correct! Just one more answer and that beautiful lounge suite will be yours!
[on the screen, visible to the audience but invisible to the contestants, flashes the word “HORSECOCK”]
QEII: Is it . . . animal?
MC: Yes, Your Majesty, it is animal!
QEII: Is it . . . edible?
MC: Well . . . I suppose . . . Yes, Your Majesty, it is edible!
QEII: [long pause] . . . Is it horsecock?!
I bet the Knollers did.
Defendant is required to lecture high school students about what he did. Kevin and Leroy stare openmouthed at the speaker, then:
Kevin: Duuuuuuude! We were gonna like try that, you know, at old Mr McWallet’s farm. No way now, huh-uh!
Leroy: Duuuude, don’t believe that bullshit; its like no big deal. You know Jerry lives down the street from me, well his older brother did it with a horse a few months ago and it’s no big deal, he says.
Kevin: You mean his brother Ray; the one walks so funny? Kinda bow-legged?
Leroy: Yeah, thats the dude. Hey has he always walked like that?
Kevin: Naa, just in the last few months. I dunno what…
Both Kevin and Leroy: DUUUUUUUUDE!!!