Yeah, my (fundie nutcase) in-laws have apparently been convinced that I’m carrying the longest pregnancy on record (DH and I have been together for 17 years, married for 15 and 1/2), because they have the idea that the only reason he’d be involved with an ‘uppity college girl’ is because he knocked her up.
Then they tried to pressure us when kids weren’t forthcoming. They have 15+ grandkids, but DH is the baby and the favorite, so they want HIS grandkids. :rolleyes: The fact that we live halfway across the country doesn’t mean squat.
They stopped when I blurted out something similar to what Tashabot posted above when I’d had it. To be fair to me, I was ranting to DH and didn’t realize that one of them was standing there eavesdropping. :smack: (They also went through my luggage)
It works, though. That was the last we’ve heard about it.
Thanks for that. I’ve never been sure how that works and I’m supposed to be the family archivist/geneologist (I keep typing that as anarchist, which is appropriate, too)
If it were me, I’d really sincerely suggest to MIL that she get involved with some children’s charities. Her need to go shopping (which is fine, not a bad thing) has nothing whatsoever to do with YOUR need to reproduce (or lack thereof).
My Aunt doesn’t have grandchildren, so she worked at a preschool for a couple of years. And she really dotes on my twins.
DH and I used to get a real buzz from helping fill Christmas stockings for needy children. It didn’t cause me to want kids of my own, either. We were childless by choice for many, many years, and it was a delightfully fulfilling life that I miss at times.
My MIL, who hates all of humanity, has turned out to be one of those “in purchase only” grandmas. She was the only one of our parents who really pushed us to have kids, too. Odd.
I showed Mr. Geek this thread. He laughed so hard at Cervaise’s post. He said “I would like to say something like that, but I couldn’t say that to my mom” Oh well…
He said he would talk to her in the next week. He liked a lot of the suggestions that you guys have given.
All sympathies, LVGeoGeek. We are also childless by choice, but our families seemed to have sensed this and have left us mostly alone about it. I’m not sure why; maybe we give off a vibe. The worst people I find for this, though, are co-workers; that is, people who REALLY have no say in this. When people pressure us about having kids, we’ve come up with this to say; “We’re not allowed to have kids.” and looking around furtively.
RickJay, I don’t care what is driving people to bother other people about this issue or any other; they need to knock that shit right off. It simply isn’t their business, genetics or instinct or whatever.
It’s generally a good idea to try to be understanding and to go easy on folks, but I guess an SDMB bitchfest isn’t the right place to suggest that sort of thing.
My mother will say something about it occasionally, but there’s something token about it. I don’t think she really wants grandkids.
What really bothers me is that the rest of my family and my co-workers will make comments about it, but it’s never about me–it’s always about my wife. “Oh, she’ll come around. She’ll change her mind in a few years.” It’s like people expect that I won’t want kids, but that she will either nag or “oops” me into it. If anything, she’s more hardcore than I am about not wanting kids.
I’ll never understand the “you’re throwing your money away on rent” people. If you buy a house without a down payment, then you’re “throwing your money away” on interest just as well. It makes more sense if you’re sure the house’s value will appreciate, or if you’re sure that the house won’t need expensive repairs, but you can’t guarantee that. If I had rented a house for the cost of my mortgage payment for the three years I was in residency, I’d be $20,000 richer right now.
Hey, it’s SiL’s take on being a mother. And her mother’s as well. OTOH, since many people in our side of the family like them better once they start being able to argue, we’re not complaining.
I don’t think anyone has made this suggestion yet:
MIL: You should have grandchildren.
You: We have reservations about bringing children into a family that doesn’t respect differences. Your inability to accept us as we are–without children–makes us worry about what you would do to a child. I’m afraid you people would nag and pester the child if he didn’t meet your expectations.
My dad has been pressuring my brother (who’s now 28) to have kids for the past few years. He said he’d pay my brother if he got married and had a legitimate male child. It’s important to my dad because my brother is the last male of his family line. I told him that at least the blood will keep going since I plan on having kids, but he retorted with this bit of gold: but you’re marrying into his family. Meaning my breeding will only do my SO’s family good, not ours. Wonderful. Huzzah Asian families.
But to get back on track, my brother said that if my dad bugs him anymore, he’s going to tell him that he’s gay to get him back and cause an anneurism which I know will happen if my brother actually goes through with it. But that idea gives me no end of satisfaction and amusement for some reason.
