I keep going into the bathroom and checking the tests (yes, tests—I’ve now taken three) hoping, wishing, praying that somehow the extra pink line will have magically disappeared since I last checked ten minutes ago. The damn things aren’t going anywhere. They mock me with their pinkness. “Ha ha, you’re knocked up. You’re going to get huge and fat and spend nine months puking your guts out for the privilege of squeezing a ten-pound squirming ball of neediness out of your delicate bits!â€
I’ll be honest, my first reaction was to immediately call the abortion clinic, do not pass go, do not collect $200. But I keep seeing my son’s face, laughing like he does, and I’m ashamed of myself for even considering it. Yet the thought’s still there, taunting me—an easy solution for an impossible situation. But then I think of how many women would love to be in my condition, and I feel petty and ungrateful. It’s all quite confusing, you see?
I imagine that it’s a little girl–that I’ll be able to sew pretty dresses for her, and buy the hot pink peel-off nail polish for her that I loved when I was little. And then I think about how much fucking work a new baby is. The first time around I was oblivious—nervous but excited. Now I know what to expect and I’m not nervous, just incredibly, dismally tired thinking about it.
My house it too small for another kid, my life is too hectic, my bank account too small, my son still too young. My parents are going to have heart attacks—hell, I’m young and healthy and I almost had a heart attack. And the father, well, let’s not even get started on that one. Suffice it to say that it’s not a simple situation and I’m madder than hell at my damn ovaries at the moment.
What in the heck am I supposed to do?
Arrrgghhhhhhh! Dribble-drool, Arrrgggghhhhhh! Dribble-drool [sub](that’s me alternating between blind panic and self-protective catatonia, just in case you were wondering)[/sub]
Stupid uterus! :mad:
Does anyone have any words of hope concerning a massively unexpected second child?
My cousin had her third child 17 years after her second (and she was 40). Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! (in my best Gomer Pyle voice). She was halfway to the abortion clinic and just couldn’t do it. The little guy is the light of their lives. And now she’s a grandma, too!
Do whatever is right for your life. You’ll make the right decision.
Our third was completely out of the blue unexpected, and only a year after our second. We survived it and now have a wonderful girl whom I wouldn’t trade the world for.
All my kids were massively unexpected, as was I when I hit this earth. There was not enough room/money/support etc. I’m glad my mom made the same decision I did. In retrospect, there is only one decision.
I don’t know you, but I can say that the problems of raising a child are temporary. Long, but temporary. The other scenario of ‘what if’ is forever. The world needs good people to raise good children.
Go for it. In 18 years you’ll have one more adult on your side. If you already have a child, you’ll have enough for a power trio.
EK–I know myself well enough to know that if I did make the appointment at the clinic, I’d most likely do exactly what your cousin did and bail at the last minute. I’m pro-choice to my very core, but I just don’t know that I’d be able think of myself in the same way if I went through with it. Then again, it would certainly make things easier in the short-term.
I’m just so stressed over it. I’m more worried about telling my mom and dad than I’ve been over anything since I cracked up their car when I was in High School. I’m totally dreading that dissapointed face, you know?
Being pro-choice and pro-abortion are two completely different things. I’m against most of the smoking laws that abound, but I would not recommend that someone smoke.
You’ll be a better person because you made the choice, not the state.
There’s never enough money, time, space, or energy for another baby. But somehow, it manages to work out all right. You sound like you’re a good mom to one child already; I’m sure if you decide that having this baby is the right thing to do, you’ll be a good mom to her or him as well. That’s what we moms specialize in, isn’t it, figuring out how to make it all work?
Our second was only 17 1/2 months after the first. We were not planning for her. We’re glad she’s here, though; she’s the most mischievous in the bunch.
Wow! Now I wish I could see it, because it sounds pretty damn interesting.
InternetLegend, thank you–that made me feel better than I have in days, even if KVSword made me a tad nervous with that “mischievous” bit.
And jarbaby, believe it or not you were one of the first people I thought of when I saw that second pink line. Your congrats are much appreciated, and I wish you the absolute best of luck in your own efforts.
Happy Anniversary DeniseV!
Now–who’s going to come to Ohio and break it to my parents? I already told the father that he should be the one to do it. That way, they get told and I get to see them slap him silly–two birds with one stone!
Not to hijack your thread, bella, but, well, me too.
I wanted to get an IUD but to get the IUD inserted you have to be menstruating. Depo makes you not menstruate. So I stopped Depo and it took forever to get my period back. Once it came back, my doctor didn’t have an appointment available. I made an appoitment for roughly a month later and, well, now I’m preggers. Kid number three. My youngest is only two and a half!
We so thought we were done. Hubby’s all giggly and happy, though.
Congrats Juanita!
It’s funny, because that’s basically what happened to me too. I’d been on the pill but gotten a new prescription for the patch–I even started a thread about it a couple weeks ago. Well, like your IUD you have to wait for your period until you start the patch so I’m waiting, and waiting…and waiting. I got to be a week and a half late and I just knew something was up. Beware the BC switch-over!
Good luck with your newest one–when’s (s)he expected?
I’m all out of good names, too. We’ve already got a Nathan Tyler and an Aaron Xavier. I guess we’ll just name him ‘Boy’.
The cool thing is, I can still fit into all my clothes. The not-so-cool thing is my doctor’s not exactly thrilled about my lack of weight gain. Of course, she’s not the one who’s has to work it all off January 17th!
Well, I haven’t been to a doc yet, but by my figures I’d be due in mid-June.
Remember when the boards went down in September? I got really, really bored…
I did copy and paste from Word, so I’m just going to blame it on that, okay?
