Thatâ€™s right kids, Iâ€™m preggers. :eek:
I keep going into the bathroom and checking the tests (yes, testsâ€”Iâ€™ve now taken three) hoping, wishing, praying that somehow the extra pink line will have magically disappeared since I last checked ten minutes ago. The damn things arenâ€™t going anywhere. They mock me with their pinkness. â€œHa ha, youâ€™re knocked up. Youâ€™re going to get huge and fat and spend nine months puking your guts out for the privilege of squeezing a ten-pound squirming ball of neediness out of your delicate bits!â€
Iâ€™ll be honest, my first reaction was to immediately call the abortion clinic, do not pass go, do not collect $200. But I keep seeing my sonâ€™s face, laughing like he does, and Iâ€™m ashamed of myself for even considering it. Yet the thoughtâ€™s still there, taunting meâ€”an easy solution for an impossible situation. But then I think of how many women would love to be in my condition, and I feel petty and ungrateful. Itâ€™s all quite confusing, you see?
I imagine that itâ€™s a little girl–that Iâ€™ll be able to sew pretty dresses for her, and buy the hot pink peel-off nail polish for her that I loved when I was little. And then I think about how much fucking work a new baby is. The first time around I was obliviousâ€”nervous but excited. Now I know what to expect and Iâ€™m not nervous, just incredibly, dismally tired thinking about it.
My house it too small for another kid, my life is too hectic, my bank account too small, my son still too young. My parents are going to have heart attacksâ€”hell, Iâ€™m young and healthy and I almost had a heart attack. And the father, well, letâ€™s not even get started on that one. Suffice it to say that itâ€™s not a simple situation and Iâ€™m madder than hell at my damn ovaries at the moment.
What in the heck am I supposed to do?
Arrrgghhhhhhh! Dribble-drool, Arrrgggghhhhhh! Dribble-drool [sub](thatâ€™s me alternating between blind panic and self-protective catatonia, just in case you were wondering)[/sub]
Stupid uterus! :mad:
Does anyone have any words of hope concerning a massively unexpected second child?