I tell my cat, “Mamakins needs to use the litter box” but I don’t think she understands.
Lol!!
After a loud fart, I used to say that it “flapped the lips of my anus”, and stinky farts I would say I “blasphemed in my pants”.
Both are better than “Surrender, Dorothy!”
A long time ago, I heard a father ask his “impatient” toddler to clarify: “Pee-pee or po-po?” Decades later, my octogenarian landlady is telling me how her life’s changed due to health issues, and I matter-of-factly used the expression. She laughed like a little girl. Well, she actually cackled like the old lady she is, but it was fun to see her reaction.
Could be “under both species.” That’s kind of obscure.
I “drain the bilges” every now and then. Occasionally I “give birth to a bosun’s mate”.
The first euphemism I learned for urinating: Tinkling (which required the use of my “tinkler”)
The first sort-of euphemism I leaned for defecating: Going “bavoom” (bathroom)
In our household, menstruation is described as being “on the rag” or “riding the cotton pony”.
Aunt Red is in town this week.
Reminds me of Cary Elwes (3:20 mark):
a visit from Aunt Flo(w)
“Shed your endometrial lining”
ETA: for flatulence, there’s “toot”
I’ve heard Aunt Dot. (period)
I think this may just be our household expression, but I’ll share it with you, as a lot of us on the boards are, well, getting on in years. Sometimes you just know it would be wise to squeeze one out before, for example, an hour long car journey. That’s called Going for a precautionary.
BTW: is the expression To shake hands with the unemployed specifically British?
j
I’ve heard it said there and in Canada, but the Canada one was a transplanted Englishman. I haven’t heard it in my part of the U.S.
Wow, this takes me back! One summer when I was in my early teens, a friend once called to ask if I’d like to come to her apartment complex to swim, and I told her I couldn’t because my Aunt Georgie was visiting. She got mad and told me to quit making excuses for why I didn’t want to come over. It turned out that I’d declined to go swimming just a couple of weeks earlier because I was having my period; it took a little bit of back-and-forth to realize she thought I was using a euphemism when I was just telling her that my great aunt was visiting from Pennsylvania and my mom would expect me to stay home to help entertain her.
That reminds me of the female wrestlers in Family Guy:
Peter’s huge sister = Heavy Flo
Random opponent = Her Vajesty’s Secret Cervix
Teenaged Meg = Teen LaQueefah
Peter and Lois are on a date night. They discuss sex, and Lois say something like: “I hope you don’t mind a little marinara dipping sauce”.
I’m somewhat disappointed to find no mention so far of Rogers Profanisaurus in this thread.
If you hear someone mention Eartha Kitts, a copper bolt, growing a tail or Montezuma’s Revenge, for example, they’re probably on the way to the lavatory (or recently visited there).
Favourite fart euphemisms of mine from the same source: cut the cheese, float an air biscuit, and of course, trouser cough.
There are far too many inventive masturbatory phrases to list (e.g. ‘whitewater wristing’) but ‘love custard’, ‘baby batter’, ‘tadpole yogurt’ and ‘population paste’ are all terms I’ve heard used before to describe its resulting ‘bodily fluid’. Plus, tangentially related, have a guess what ‘Map of Africa’ refers to.
Dried on the sheets? “California love chip”. Don’t ask me why.