At the beginning of a relationship, when you are first having sex, and you want to tell the other person to give you a little oral pleasure, what is the nice way to say it? Some people start talking dirty instantly, so that’s a no-brainer. But, assuming a partner who is shy, how do you ask without just saying the unimpressive “Suck my dick.”?
“Will you go down?”
Seems a little too timid.
“Kiss it, please.”
Maybe?
“If you go down on me I will go down on you.”
Bartering. I guess you could call it bribery depending on how you look at it.
I don’t think oyu should ask for it on the very first sexual encounter. I’d be irritated by someone who did: the first sexual encounter should be about people doing what they want to do, and realitivly request-free.
Assuming there is a second encounter, I tend to think it is best to bring the issue up first in a non-sexual context: while snuggled in front of hte TV or something, ask “Do you like oral sex?”
If they say “no” or “recieving, yes, but not giving”, then you have to decide whether or not you want to stay in a relationship with no blow jobs; that’s a personal choice and there is no right or wrong answer.
If they say “yes”, then you say: “so do I. We’ll have to try that next time.” It may even lead to “next time” happening right then and there.
Suggest 69-- it’s fun, it’s egalitarian, it’s good for everyone at the same time, and you get to phrase it as a 'should we?" instead of ‘would you?’.
I can’t believe I’m posting in a sex advice thread. For shame.
After an appropriate amount of foreplay (cigar optional), work your way into a 69 position. One of the advantages to being male is it just kinda sticks out there, weeping for attention.
Why dontcha just say what this guy in a 3-piece business suit asked us as he was polishing the ol’ kielbasa during lunch hour by a pond in Central Park:
For me it’s always kind of been a “if it feels right, do it” sort of thing. The only times I’ve tried it and my instincts have been wrong was because the girl thought someone else in the apartment might hear it.
So, basically, I’ve never asked. I’m a “ladies first” kinda guy, so I just make my way down there and hope for the best. It’s always worked so far. Perhaps not everyone has this instinct, however.
dj, there’s an astonishingly simple solution to your dilemma:
Date men.
Seriously. I’ve met, been friends with, and had sex with enough gay men to know that only a tiny minority don’t like giving head. Really. Oral sex is much more fundamental to gay men than it is to straight people - it’s not merely a prelude to something else. (In contrast, I know quite a few gay men who don’t much like butt sex, or reserve it for special occasions.) Sex between men? Oral sex is almost guaranteed.
Ok, so there’s that pesky business of having a man attached to the head in question, but y’know, non-beggars can’t be choosers :D…
Ugh, let me clarify… one time this happened was after a second date with a girl and we went back to my apartment, where I have a roommate who I share a wall with, a wall both of our beds are on. But, one week later, when I slept at her place, where she lives by herself, she didn’t have any issues with oral sex and was pretty eager about it.
The other time was during a drunken hook-up thing in college where the girl’s roomie was sleeping on the lower bunk. Anytime I got too, um, happy, she would put her hand over my mouth. In retrospect, I shouldn’t have done that one.
