See, that’s why you need to get with a gay guy. Trust me, you never need to ask to get some head!
Yeah, but for some of us, Oxy’s absolutely right: the “pesky business of having a man attached to the head in question” just takes it right out of play.
No offense to youse that likes it that way, but I went through some pretty long dry spells when I was single, and I was never that desperate…:eek:
Grab a scruff of her hair and guide her down there like a tame horse. She’ll get the picture.
Or you could ask her if she would like a good face fucking.
My opinion: Go down of her first, and be gentle. But only do with the utmost confidence.
Otherwise, tell her this, “Take my man-organ into your oral cavity, shebitch.”
(which really doesn’t look enough like he’s sticking his tongue out, but hey ;))
“Yo, toots, how about snarling on the boa?”
Alternatively…“Please gobble my choad.”
I think “Would you go down on me?” is the politest sounding. Next I would have to suggest Daoloth’s suggestion. 
“five dolla sucky sucky?”
I have to agree with the other gay guys…I read the OP and was completely baffled why someone would have to ask someone to go down on him…
I don’t think I’ve ever asked anyone to do that. Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever asked anyone if I could do that.
The gay sex thing is worlds different from the straight sex thing, isn’t it?
jayjay
Why does this not shock me coming from you… please tell me you dont ACTUALLY use this line.
I prefer asking if she has ever played the skin flute :o
“How about a little slickem on the hang down baby?”
Just say “can I borrow your ears for a minute?”
She’ll say “why?”
You’ll do a pantomime of reaching up, closing both hands into fists, and yanking your fists down into your lap. Then you do the Hommina! Hommina! Hommina! pumping motion with your pelvis.
If this doesn’t work, ask her if she knows the difference between fried chicken and a blowjob. She’ll say: “No, tell me.”
You say: “Let’s go on a picnic tomorrow.”
Well, woohoo! I already own a pair of Viper FX, so that would leave the other party with merely one option.
Whatever happened to nonverbal communication? Positions should just happen in the natural course of human events (which, I believe, is in the preamble to the Constitution). You’ll end up exploring, she’ll end up exploring (assuming, of course, that she likes to explore). If she never ventures south of your navel you can probably take that as a sign.
Then you kick her out of bed (just kidding there, folks).
How about…“Why don’t you wrap your warm mouth around me, love?” or “Be my private porn star”.
Good luck,
Dave
Most. Overrated. Position. EVER.
I’m not accusing you of anything, capybara, but I think that most people that recomend it have never tried it.
It sucks.
And not in the good way.
I would definately recommend it and it’s a 3 times a week thing for me. It is my ultimate favorite position in the world. The only drawback is that I’m…er…done after just a few minutes.
No problemo…
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Give her a yeast infection. (use your imagination…I can’t do everything for you)
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Act real horny. (apparently, not a problem)
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Bet y’all thought I was gonna say “Hi Opal”, didn’t ya? HAH!
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Chase her around the room, telling her how bad you need to have sex with her.
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When she says “I can’t have sex, I have a yeast infection, and the doctor advised me not to.”
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Ask her “What does your dentist say?”
All these posts and not one person remarks on the importance of saying “Please”.
Manners help. Manners and style always help.
“Please” was in the OP. Read it again. Still, somehow, saying please in bed seems a bit wierd. And which fork are you supposed to use? Manners and bedroom passion. I’m not sure they go together.
It looks like I should take the most common advice in this thread. Maybe I do need to find someone who is gay. Taht settles it. I’m going to start dating lesbians. I hear the bar Meow Mix is a real good time . . .
DaLovin’ Dj