Humor. It is a difficult concept.
It’s not supposed to be a plausible reaction . . . I don’t think so, at least. (I’m not entirely sure what goes on in Britain or America.) I still found it kind of funny.
It is funny, IMO. Over-thinking sucks the funny out of most things, though.
One that just makes sense to me:
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished. - Unknown
a favorite architectural one:
Less is only more where more is no good. - Frank Lloyd Wright (1867-1959)
one I try and live by:
It is necessary for us to learn from others’ mistakes. You will not live long enough to make them all yourself. - Adm. Hyman G. Rickover
another favorite:
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is. - Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut
“I’m more man than you’ll ever be and more woman than you’ll ever get.”
Awwww… sexism is precious.
“You can’t make a pig into a racehorse, but you can make a pretty fast pig.”
- Chuck Jones (quoting his uncle)
From time to time, as we all know, a sect appears in our midst announcing that the world will very soon come to an end. Generally, by some slight miscalculation, it is the sect that comes to an end."
-G. K. Chesterton
“When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”
Shouldn’t that be: 'When you have eliminated all BUT the impossible…"?
“You can run but you cannot hide. Except appearently on the Pakistani-Afghan border.”
As a parent, I’m really digging this one.
“The music of the spheres, when scientifically analyzed, has turned out to identical to the tinkling of ice at the bottom of a whiskey glass.”
-R. A. Lafferty
“I’ve looked in all the towns and cities and seen no statues of committees.”
-G. K. Chesterton
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.
You can’t choose who you fall in love with, but you can bloody well choose where to look for love.
“To form a society based on class distinctions, a minimum of two persons is necessary and sufficient.”
-Baron Bodissey, as recorded by Jack Vance
Nope:
The Sign of the Four, A. Conan Doyle
If you eliminate all but the impossible, then the impossible is all you have left. It’s much harder to prosecute based on an impossible m.o. 
“This belongs in IMHO.”
To be honest I’ve never read a full book by Robert Heinlein, but his Notebooks of Lazarus Long (Part 1 and Part 2) are almost Scripture to me. (I have any number of acquaintances who are Biblical literalists and have never read the Bible, so I suppose I know how they feel.)
My favorites, all from the Notebooks of Lazarus Long:
which is roughly the same as
And longer, but I still like it:
“Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” - Dr. Seuss
For funny, it’s hard to top Tom Lehrer:
“Life is like a sewer — what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.”
“It’s people like that who make you realize how little you’ve accomplished. It is a sobering thought, for example, that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.”
“I always like to make explicit the fact that before I went off not too long ago to fight in the trenches, I was a mathematician by profession. I don’t like people to get the idea that I have to do this for a living. I mean, it isn’t as though I had to do this, you know, I could be making, oh, 3000 dollars a year just teaching.”
“I feel that if a person can’t communicate, the very least he can do is to shut up.”
and I’ll stop there. 
For inspiration I like “It never gets easier, you just go faster.” - Greg Lemond
But for an actual rule to live by, you can’t go wrong with “It’s such a fine line between stupid and clever.” - David St. Hubbins