What’s orange and sounds like a parrot A Carrot
I told the joke in the OP to my five year old daughter. She said, “Mommy! That’s not funny,” and stomped away. She liked the elephant and custard joke much better.
What’s brown and sits in a jury box?
jury duty
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Do you know what the best part of fucking forty-eight-year-olds is?
There are forty of them.
I remember hearing that on Carson when I was about 10, and laughing my head off. I never forgot it either. 
Ah. Reading. That explains it.
Viagra Stolen! Breaking News! Hardened criminals on the loose!
Where do otters come from?
Otter space
What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall?
Dam!
Why did the fried chicken cross the road?
Because it saw a fork up ahead
Why was the baby ant so confused?
Because all its uncles were ants
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing cabs!!
How do they circumcise a whale?
The send down fore (4) skin divers
Did you hear about the Circus fire?
It was in tents!
What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A private tutor!!
How do baby chickens dance?
They dance chick to chick
What’s brown and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven’s last movement
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was too (two) tired!!!
A woman sees a young boy coming down the street pulling his little wagon. In side the wagon is a pair of 9-volt batteries with wires that are attached to the side with tape. Curious, the woman asks, “What are you doing, young man?”
The boy responds, “I’m driving my car. It’s just like the one my dad has.”
Puzzled, the woman asks, “And what kind of car does your father drive?”
The boy exclaims, “A Volts-wagon!”
What’s the difference between broccoli and snot?
Kids don’t eat broccoli.
What do I have if I have two little green balls in my hand?
Kermit the Frog’s undivided attention.
What is the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth Hurty (2:30)
Why does bean soup recipe require exactly 239 beans?
Because if you add one more it becomes too farty (240)
Why can’t you buy two apples at the market?
Because then you’d have a pear.
What is the Russian mafia’s favorite restaurant?
Red Mobster
Why can’t you play cards in the jungle?
Because it’s full of cheetahs!
Why did the tree have to go to the principal’s office?
Because it was a knotty pine.
Why was the math book so sad?
It had too many problems.
Why was the archaeologist so depressed?
Because his career was in ruins
What kind of bee produces milk?
A Boobie!!
What did the buffalo mother say to her son when he was leaving for school?
Bi-son!!!
Little Billy came into the house and asked his mom: “Mom, what do you call it when two people are in bed and one lies on top of the other one?”
“Whew boy,” mom thinks. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this, but I guess it’s time I tell it to him straight.” So she tells the boy, “Billy, it’s called ‘sexual intercourse’ and it’s something adults do.”
Billy runs out to play with his friends, but an hour later he’s back in the house.
“Mom, you were wrong,” he accuses. “It’s called bunk beds, and Jimmy’s mom wants to TALK to YOU!”
I remember this one from 2nd grade.
Why was the little strawberry worried?
.
.
.
.
.
.
because it’s mother and father were in a jam.
A friend of my husband raised cows. There was a lot of inbreeding because he didn’t know what he was doing. There was this one cow that had huge buckteeth.
She said …“Mooooooof.” 
I love cows.
Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it!
Q: How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A: Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses!
Q: What airline do rabbits use?
A: British Hare-ways
Q: What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter?
A: Deviled eggs!
Q: What did the rabbit give his girlfriend?
A: A 14 carrot ring!
Q: What did the rabbits do after their wedding?
A: They went on their bunnymoon
Q: What do rabbits put in their computers?
A: Hoppy disks!
Q: What do you call 99 rabbits stepping backwards?
A: A receding hare line!
Q: What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a leaf blower?
A: A hare dryer!
Q: What do you get when you cross an insect and a rabbit?
A: Bugs Bunny!
Q: What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
A: A hot cross bunny!
I warn you I have 100s of these
The midget seance-handler was in jail, but escaped through the bars and took off.
The headline the next day was “Small Medium at Large.”
Here’s another shaggy cow.
You didn’t tell it right. It’s “A brown stick”
What do you call a black man that flies an airplane?
A pilot you racist bastard
What do you call a black man who does surgery?
A surgeon, you racist bastard!
I love those ones.