The one I noticed yesterday was on a package of Wine Gums.
"Notice Wine Gums do not contain any wine. Well duh, they are candy.
Keith
jesuslynch:
This reminds me of skydiving canopies. They all have a sizeable orange label that says:
“Warning: Parachuting is a high-risk activity that may result in injury or death.”
No shit, sherlock, indeed!
But since it’s generally right in the middle of the tail, it does come in handy as a landmark when packing.
-sulla
About twelve years ago I happened to find myself in Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania. The stop lights there all hang from wires (instead of being mounted on poles).
Next to each stoplight – and I’m not joking here – hung a traffic sign that read, “WAIT FOR GREEN”.
I have often pondered what type of community would find it necessary to consistantly remind its driving populace of such a basic rule of the road.
Seen on a piece of fruit leather (you know, with the plastic backing):
Warning: Remove cellophane before eating.
I think that if you can’t figure that one out, you deserve a mouth full of plastic.
The one that I found funny was in the box of tampons telling you to remove the old one before inserting a new one.
BTW I do warn my children after taking childrens cold medicine not to be out driving around or operating heavy machinery. 
Sign in the optical lab:
“Please do not look into laser with remaining eye.”
Haven’t you ever been running late for work and just as you are heading out the door notice a couple of wrinkles?
It’s an art-form.
kiffa sed:
Yeah, they have these on the sides of the electrical switchboards where I work. Except the boards are only 6-7 feet tall, and judging from how far back the guy is leaning (and, actually, it looks like he’s levitating) and the nearly-vertical angle of the bolts, it looks as though they’re coming from out of the sky. I found myself wondering, what’s the warning here? “Do not approach or you will be struck down by deific power!”
:eek:
I had a stroller which said “Remove children before folding stroller.” I would have thought that to be self evident.
Zev Steinhardt
Self-evident, perhaps, but sooo tempting sometimes.
There’s a new car commercial where the car is “body surfing” on a crowd. There is a warning across the screen, and I do not kid you - it says, ** “Drive on roads, not people.” **
I tell ya, the scum feeding lawyers are trying to suck every bit of fun out of our lives!!
Seen on an airplane door:
“Do not open while plane is in flight”
I’d like to know who actually tried this.
Skydivers, perhaps. What kind of airplane was it?
This isn’t really a safety warning but seems to still be appropriate here. A return receipt for an e-mail states:
“Note: this Return Receipt only acknowledges that the message was displayed on the recipient’s machine. There is no guarantee that the content has been read or understood.”
The “or understood” part is my favorite.
Kricket wrote:
EWWWWWWWWWWW!!! TMI TMI TMI TMI!!!*
TMI: “Too much information”
On can of lighter fluid:
WARNING: THIS PRODUCT IS FLAMMABLE
Not really a stupid warning, but I always liked one of my drug-abusing friend’s comment on this one…
You’ve seen the little orange stickers on certain prescription drugs that says:
MAY CAUSE DIZZINESS OR DROWSINESS. ALCOHOL MAY INTENSIFY THIS EFFECT.
My buddy said “That’s not a warning…it’s a serving suggestion.”
peace,
TN*Hippie
I love it! Obey or ye shall be SMOTEN!!!
I used to work with my uncle installing linoleum flooring. If you didn’t know, you have to lay down these large sheets of plywood and staple them to the floor first.
On the box of staples, there are little drawings of construction workers doing things wrong. My favorite was a man standing on scaffolding, holding the electric staple gun casually at his side. Meanwhile, his hapless co-worker is walking up a ladder from below, and gets a staple driven into his skull. There’s a big, translucent red X over the entire scene.
Oh, that’s not a good idea?
It always used to crack me up, that little picture. Got me through the day sometimes.
[hijack]
Not a lot of people know this, but the past tense of “smite” is “smitten”.
[/hijack]
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball®