Well, I’m not a big porn fan, but I found the Max Hardcore movies the ‘worst’. To me its unreal how badly he treats the girls in the films. I suppose women (and men) will do anything for money…but it actually made me a bit ill to see some of the things he did to them.
However, I’m not well versed in this subject, going more for the light couple type porn (that my wife enjoys too) not the really hard core…so maybe he’s really not that bad if you’ve seen a lot more.
-XT
Oh no. You mentioned it, now we have to know!
I caught a viewing of a porn called Barbara Broadcat when I was in highschool. It was pretty weak, but I remember it featured the musical piece that would later become the theme to The People’s Court.
Couldn’t ever watch that show without busting up!
Saw another porno that had the ugliest actresses I’ve ever seen. One had huge, festering boils on her ass. There was a she-male in the mix somewhere also. It had all the sexuality of a 4 year old with Down’s syndrome. Very disappointing, but it taught us all a valuable lesson: Never rent a video based on the picture on the box!
EDWARD PENIS HANDS IS AMAZING. the scene where the rubs his hands together over the picture of the girl to masturbate. COMIC GOLD!
Not just the worst porn, but the worst moviegoing experience of my life:
A 3-D pseudo snuff porn from the 1970s. It played as a midnight movie at one of the arthouse movie theaters in Berkeley while I was in college and a group of friends and I decided to go one weekend, because c’mon! 3-D 70’s porn!
Except it was hands-down the stupidest, most disgusting, least sexy, and most disturbing movie I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember what it was called. I do remember that the main character was named Harry Balls (“Anyone he wants!”, you’d hear after anyone said his name). In the movie, a girl gets killed and goes facedown into some soup in the kitchen. Someone comes along, eats some of that soup, and has his way with her. And she’s dead.
That’s one of the more tame things I remember. It was just WRONG.
And the terrible terrible 3-D gave me a headache.
I watch the porn movies on HBO Friday nights. Some are really bad, but the worse, by far, was Playmate of the Apes.
It was bad.
Worse than bad. Worse than anything ever in the history of the world.
Three (not very good looking) women crash on a planet…of the apes! And the apes are actors in really bad monkey costumes. And one woman had her brain removed and all she could do was sleep and get screwed, and there was really, really bad lesbian sex, and then they took a few moments to rap and then things started to get weird.
shudder
So, so bad.
So bad.
Ah, bad porn.
Okay, there’s a hentai series called “Four Play”. A friend of mine picked it up with his girlfriend with the intent of getting porn. It ended up being regularly shown as a comedy feature.
The voices, to start with… It sounded like it starred Kermit the frog and Setphen Hawking. That was… I think surrealistic would be correctly used here. That’s not something that combines well with porn.
Then, you Magical Pubic Hair barbie. This girl would be completely bald in one scene, and Georgette of the jungle 3 minutes later.
It involved the line “I have a special kind of sickness” as the cue for the sex scenes.
Half the sex was apparently with the invisible man, because midway through, all of a sudden there would just be this girl lying there, shifting around rhythmically, as though they just forgot to put in the cels with the guy on them.
We only had the first tape, so we never got as far as the girl actually seducing her brother, but the “Next time…” was there.
[QUOTE=pepperlandgirl]
I watch the porn movies on HBO Friday nights. Some are really bad, but the worse, by far, was Playmate of the Apes.
QUOTE]
Just to make you lay awake at night screaming … The same people also have made rip-offs of Gladiator and Lord of the Rings. Both just as bad, but without the Pink, Gay gorrilla.
Yes, I watch too much Skinamax after 1:00 am.
I have seen the Glaiator one. And a couple of those chicks are hot. Much hotter that the average porn movie skanks. And…wellll, as lesibian sex orgy scenes go, it had a pretty good lesbian sex orgy scene, and I’m kind of a connoisseur of lesbian sex orgy scenes.
Ahh, yes. This one is great!
There is a scene where some evil skank or another is trying to corrupt Edward and gets him addicted to cocaine. Two girls are screaming for sex, literally “Come on Edward! DO US!” Edward lifts his head from a pile of powder on the table and raises his two normally stiff penis hands into the air and starts whimpering. They are both limp and flaccid. He shakes them and collapses back into his pile of powder.
Classic stuff…just classic.
The worst porn I ever saw was actually something I created.
No, I’m not some sleazy guy with a video camera in the Valley.
For a friend’s birthday, I once bought a Hustler and a Dog Fancy at the same time. I pasted the dog heads onto all the women in the Hustler. There was some craft involved, you see, since I had to have the dog head pictures at roughly the right angle to match with the Hustler pictures.
There was even one involving licking that worked out just perfect.
The second worst porn, of course, was the time I was being filmed having sex with a very reluctant dumpy middle-aged redhead while my white midget hippie friend spied on us from a crack in the door.
When I was in college my friend and our boyfriends wanted to watch a porn so they got this one from a guy down the hall that was his favorite porn. He evidently raved about how good it was. Well I should have known when the title came up “Taboo II”. Ugh it involved massive amounts of incest and had scenes with the brother semi raping the sister with her of course getting into it once he was pounding away at her. I’m not shy about saying that people who get off on family members screwing are sick bastards!
But the best ever porn in the whole world is called Triple X Trek. It stars Randy Spears as Captain Kirk and he actually gets the cadance of the voice down almost exactly. And the plot is awesome as they get sucked into a giant vagina which makes them hallucinate sexual partners. You just have to see this to understand. It’s not really sexy or anything but it is funny as hell.
Oh. My. God. I actually saw that one, with a bunch of friends, at the local grind house back in the early '70s. IIRC, one of the scenes involves a man and woman doing the dirty on a circus trapeze. Name of the act? The Flying F*cks, of course.
Nooo… I think (at least, as far as my own experience goes) the worst “artsy” porn movie I ever saw was Caligula, starring Sir John Gielgud, Malcolm McDowall, lots of classy European actors and actresses, and a few Penthouse Pets who were willing to do hardcore.
Years later, I heard that this film was actually intended as a sort of historical drama, but they ran out of money and Bob Guccione (publisher of Penthouse) bought out the production, finished the movie, and then inserted scenes of various beautiful Romans and their slaves having mad passionate hardcore sex. Oh, yeah, and a few orgies.
The movie is just goddamn strange, and inserting the sex scenes did absolutely nothing for it, except provide brief breaks in the general weirdness of it all…
Sorry to say, but I’ve actually see a lot of the stuff mentioned in this thread, from the “drilldo” to Edward Penishands to “Caligula.” (And I second the vote for that one. How they got Peter O’Toole and Helen Mirren to appear in it I’ll never know.)
But no, the worst I’ve ever seen was any variation of the Japanese porn-form known as “bukkake.” Basically, this involves the standard “money shot” in every porn film multiplied times at least 20. So you have at least that many guys stroking themselves off onto a woman’s face in the span of about 5 minutes. The worst I ever saw had a woman laying on her back on a bench while at least fifty guys dumped their loads into her mouth (no, she didn’t swallow).
It was revolting and oddly fascinating at the same time. I mean, where do they FIND women to do this, and how much do they pay them?
Uh…did you know this woman before she showed up at your house? 
Back to the OP, I’m going to go with “1001 Cum Shots.” We rented it for a friend’s 21st B-Day party. Near as I could tell, it was pasted scenes from other porn movies. Just the cum shot scenes. One right after the other. We all started to feel pretty dirty after about two minutes, so unfortunately I can’t confirm truth in advertising there.
Can anyone in the know explain the corn syrup fetish thing?
My boyfriend and I rented this arty looking European porn. We realized that “arty European porn” is code for “low production values and hairy copulating couples.”
Two couples go at it on a brass bed and never, never change position. They stay in the same position for at least an hour. One of the women was so hairy that I swear she was wearing a toupee on her nether regions. The two couples were booooooring, but the lone woman in the room was just stupid. This one corseted woman’s sole purpose was to randomly change positions of the couples’ arms and then sweep her long hair over their heads. That’s it. That’s all this chick did. Move arms, sweep hair.
We stick to good ol’ American plastic porn now.
[QUOTE=evilskippy]
I disagree. Misty Mundae has a certain charm about her I can’t resist. How many other women in her business don’t have implants or other forms of cosmetic enhancements?
Marc
The worst porn I’ve ever seen has to be the crackwhore site where the premise is that they pick up crackwhores and have sex with them for rock bottom prices. I don’t really mind tubgirl that much but the crackwhore stuff really put me off clicking links out of morbid curiosity.
The second worst is Max Hardcore. He’s gotten a lot worse too, judging from the descriptions. YUCK.