Hey! That was hilarious. Perhaps only mildly erotic, but damn funny.
We walked out of The Story of O in a real theater once, but I suppose that was too high class to count. The worst I can remember is a takeoff of Fantasy Island - not offensive, just boring.
My WAG is that the corn syrup is merely a easier to get semen substitute when they want to obtain that bukkake look.
Also, one should check out Something Awful’s Horrors of Porn. :eek:
I haven’t really seen any proper pornos as such, and until I entered this thread I was glad! (This being because the longest I have watched was a 1 minute jobby featuring a japanese lady who sounded like a screaming, crying chihuaha), but all the ones mentioned so far sound hilarious!
The only porno-related experience I have had was when a friend told us how she was looking for the video Bambi, but came (sorry!) across the movie “Super-cum” instead, which was apparently a spoof (heh heh!) of superman. Of course my friends and I all found this hilarious and struck superman poses, yelled “Super-cum!!” and wore our underwear over our clothes whenever we saw her. I wonder why she doesn’t hang around with us any more?
There have been a good number of things I have seen that amazed and shocked me when I first saw them but now fail to do so. One is the extremely violent blowjob style, where a guy rams his dick a girl’s throat so hard and deep that she often gags and throws up all over herself.
The first time I saw double anal I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t believe such a small woman could take Two dicks up her ass. These girls are insane!
Bestiality I have never understood. Often the animal’s penis is so revulting looking that it is unwatchable.
I think perhaps the sickest was a clip that showed a woman getting shit, piss and then jizzed on in the mouth, all in a row! Isn’t one of those bodily fluids enough?
Btw, I think Max Hardcore is an artist; the man is simply a genius.
I saw a documentary not long ago, which followed one woman attempting to break into Californian porn. She had an ‘interview’ with Max Hardcore, and it showed just how manipulative and abusive he could be, balancing the line between persuasion and coercian. In the end, the film crew broke the golden rule of documentary-making and intervened, justifying it by the fact that the woman was not in a position to freely make reasonable decisions. Sickening. There’s a description of what happened in the middle of this article.
Wow, most of the porn I have seen is, thankfully, dull compared to the stuff talked about here. The worst one I have seen was an Australian flick. While the women were attractive and the accents were great, the movie itself was so slow and dull.
I’ll see you your amputee porn and raise you my
fake amputee porn.
A guy I know found a discarded movie by a dumpster. The movie was titled “Pump My Stump” and featured a woman with a leg which was amputated below the knee. The film featured thsi woman masturbating in various locations, not actually having sex with anyone else. We watched it once or twice before one of my friends pointed out that this woman appeared to be fully-limbed and was simply hiding her lower leg by holding it up behind her thigh.
I gave it to a guy I worked with before I moved away - he acted all high and mighty, like he wouldn’t possibly be interested in seeing it. But he took the tape anyway.
The worst, most disturbing porn I ever saw was not found off the Internet or a porn theatre - but in the attic of my friend’s grandparents.
Grandpaw had died some years ago; grandma was off to the home; the house was to be sold - so my friend and I, and some other friends, were helping to clear the junk out of the attic.
Hidden up there was one of those 8mm tapes. The reel was entitled “Anal Dwarf”, and featured … well, male dwarves (dwarfs?) having anal sex with (very ugly) normal-sized women.
Wierd, disturbing … and equally disturbing to think of grandparents sitting down to an exciting evening of watching “Anal Dwarf”.
It’s obvious to me that, though I’m in my 40’s I’ve lead a sheltered life. Anal Dwarf?? All I can say is…EEEEWWWWWW!!
-XT
That is more or less what I said when we found it - my friend said, “If you tell my parents about this, I’ll hurt you”.
Mind you, if we had also found a projector, we would probably have watched it for laughs …
I suddenly feel like I’m missing out by not watching porn.
The worst (quality) commercial porn film I’ve seen is a 3D movie at the local art house called Disco Dolls. From the 70’s, it was so faded the #D glasses didn’t really work. And it was advertised as featuring the legendary John Holmes (this was probably around the time that that Marky Mark movie came out) but he was just in 10 seconds of irrelevant footage spliced in the middle. I don’t remember much about it other than the big, scary leather wearing lesbian (beacuse they all wear leather, don’t they?) and that the heroine was very 70’s au nautural with normal tits and hairy armpits.
The grossest porn was when I went to see Annie Sprinkle’s live show. She showed a lot of clips from her old films. She did a lot of what was “underground” type stuff including something she called “rainbow showers” which meant throwing up on the guy. (she did say it was just soup, tho’) She also showed a clip that was a rape scene she said got out of hand and was the only time she was ever really scared and it showed. Disturbing. And then there was the scene with her, a midget, and the female amputee (arm). Impressive what you can do with a midget stadning on his head and a stump…
The worst porn I’ve ever seen is definitely the Star Wars Holiday Special. Urgh.