The guy I was involved with for a year and a half is moving on. From coast to coast as it were. New Jersey to California. As you can imagine, this sucks for me on many levels. He’s leaving on Fri (the 13th) and will be supposedly heading for better things. My question to you, my friends, is this: what now? Anybody deal with this before? I’m going crazy, here.
Wonko, you’re wonderful by the way. Ladies, if you’re in the tri-state area, he’s well worth the trip.
:confused
I know, Wonko. I’m sorry. I want what’s best for you. You know I love ya.
Someone else better start posting here, or this thread will be altogether weird.
The Moof was a fool for moving. You and he seemed to be a good match. You are an interesting person, and don’t deserve what happened. I wish I could make you feel all better, but I cannot. Only time or an act of God will do that.
I’m sorry what happened, happened. I really am.
I hope I have not contributed.
I thought you were going to bed. Wonko, I hope I haven’t hurt your feelings. I’m needing to vent. I was hoping I get some ex-bashing going on.
Can’t offer anything other than to say I’m sorry to hear about it, special_kay. 
I’m very sorry, Special_Kay. I’m hesitant to butt in here, but my divorce, which my ex-wife initiated, was final in May, so perhaps I should.
I can’t tell you not to hurt–I know all too well how much it hurts. And I can’t tell you that the pain will go away quickly and never come back–it still hits me sometimes, and I’ve had nearly two years to make my peace. But I can tell you this–it will get better. No matter what, it willget better.
I wish you the best of luck and as speedy a recovery as possible.
Lot of questions left unanswered. Why aren’t you going with him? Did he not ask, or did he know you wouldn’t?
It always hurts when relationships end. But hopefully we learn something from them and that carries over into the next relationship. There are many heartaches in life. They hurt but they also make us stronger.
My feelings are fine. Sorry, I can’t help with the ex-bashing.
When the one you love leaves you…
…love the one you’re with.
Well,like MyesterEck says, it’ll get better… but that’s up to you.
As a former Psychology student and also someone who broke up with someone I really care (and I still adore her so much even though we’re no longer in talking term), my advice to you is to move on; think of the wonderful things you two have done and appreciate it. Make something out of that but don’t dwell too much on the past and about a faint hope of getting together again because it won’t happen.
On the physical level, do daily exercise (e.g. brisk walk, jogging, biking, swimming, etc…), it helps (really). Don’t stay indoor or in the dark too often and avoid melochany music. Put away the old pictures of you and him or whatever gift he’s given you; but don’t throw it away – store it in a box and hide it from view.
If he moves on to greater and better things, then you congratulate him and wish him the best; don’t get jealous (like the song says, sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…). YOU should also do your best to move onto greater and better things.
Whatever you do, don’t let it drag; if you need to ‘vent’ out, then talk with your best friend about (or just ‘vent’ in here). Write a letter to him but don’t send it. Put it away and read it a few weeks later.
It’ll take time to recover from the change but it’ll get better only if you work on it.
Cheer up!
jovius
Join a gym.
A gym with punching bags.
Use the punching bags.
Use the punching bags a lot!
Can you tell I’ve recently gotten screwed?
He needs to go off with his friends and be stupid, I think. I 'm not sure I would go. I’m still in school and I would never finish if I left again. Well, yeah. I would go In a heart beat. I once told him (and have recently reminded him) that I would rather live in a cardboard box on the side of the Turnpike with him than anywhere without.
Maybe I should love the one I’m with. Wonko?
Punching bags? Good idea. I have great friends. I’m not in a drepressed state, I’m too busy for that. I really thought we were made for each other. It took a lot of hell for us end up together and it pisses me off that he would rather leave and give up on all of that, then take a chance on making it work. He said that he doesn’t feel we should move in together yet, so why should we in Cali, where if it doesn’t work we’re screwed.
And he’s got the cats.
The two most beautiful cats God ever created. (Mr. Boots and Mr. Bigglesworth) He better be leaving them here. I don’t know yet.
Perhaps someday, if I’m lucky…
Dammit! don’t you know Jack reads the SDMB when I’m out! He’ll be furius with you if he hears you talking like that!
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=40882
Sorry if I confused ya’ll…
Wonko, as long as I have the cat toy that dangels from my head and the pounce treats, I think he’ll be okay.
You tell him I miss him too.
My guys lack the extra appendages, so they’d never stack up anyhow.
14 extra toes is good- I think he has a few apposeable thumbs in that bunch. The previous post about the exercise is right on. Even a short walk a day helps tons- I speak from experience. When I’m feeling anxious, I go for a walk around town, sometimes I am already exhausted, but can’t sleep because I am -way- too keyed up. It helps calm me down and gives me a quiet moment to think without moping. I used to walk around the parkinglot at MicroHellhouse when I was quitting smoking because it helped me from feeling the withdrawl thing, and the natural endorphens (sp) were a good thing. A creative outlet is a -good thing- as well, and you have that through the theater, which is also a -cool thing-.