**Need a Russian expression of positive astonishment.
One morning you wake up without your head. Pulse, BP, respiration normal. What happens then?
**
“Bozhe Moi! – Where’s my head?”
** It’s our lifestyle! (Man walks woman on leash in mall)
How to get hired on the spot
**
**Bad Stuff you did as a child
US Colleges expel 8,000 Chinese students **
Because they were bad.
** It’s our lifestyle! (Man walks woman on leash in mall)
Poll: Humans vs Human Beings **
Do I get a third choice?
**What kinds of property can be formally appraised?
Killer Asteroids. **
“I say we nuke the asteroid while it’s still in orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on! That asteroid has a substantial dollar value–We had it formally appraised!”
Looking for an author interested in a hell of a story
I have OCD, think I’m a pedophile
Sorry, I’m holding out for a gluten-sensitive vampire.
Looking for an author interested in a hell of a story
Waffle House Employee filmed masturbating in booth.
I’m not sure that’s going to be a best seller…
Why Support Hillary?
Who was the stupidest US president?
Way to lower the bar, dude…
Facebook Does Something For Privacy
Bad user interface design
I was going to post all this personal information and all these nude photos for the world to see, but now I can’t figure out how to do it.
**What is the top export of the USA?
Killer Asteroids. **
America–fuck yeah!
How to transfer money from Bank of America To Wells Fargo User?
Killer Asteroids.
Yeah, you heard me. Killer asteroids. IRS, border guards, that $10,000 reporting rule–nothing will slow those things down.
Separated by one:
** It’s our lifestyle! (Man walks woman on leash in mall)
“Dirty Stories” anyone?
**
** Poll: Do you get earworms?
Poll: Speaker loses train of thought: um, uh, you know vs silence **
“Fellow representatives, we have to prevent Iran from getting nuclear weapons, young girl get out of my mind, I mean they must never be allowed to be way out of line, better run Ayatollah.”
**Obscure but interesting celebrity trivia.
Okay, we know Jessica Fletcher was a serial killer. **
But did you know she made prize winning lemon meringue pies?
Ow, my hip!
Why do people feel the need to politicize everything?
Thanks, Obama!
It’s Not A Puppy, It’s Not A Kitten…It’s CUTER!
Waffle House Employee filmed masturbating in booth.
SQUEEEEE!
…was what I heard coming from the booth, your honor.
**MIT’s four-legged robot leaps over obstacles
My sister’s coffee can
**
Your sister has very talented and accomplished coffee
**Potential employer asking for “free” work as part of “interview”
Do you have spontaneous visual images? **
I sure do. One especially nice one of the potential employer being impaled, drawn and quartered. 
Starting an SDMB thread is like writing a goddamn legal document!
What’s your personality type?
My personality type, as defined by the Johnson-Yutani scale, and allowing for all applicable congruencies and exceptions, is “lawyer”.
**What neat thing did you just learn?
Depression is a joke!
**