Who's split up with your bf/gf lately? Comfort Party!

No, not I, as I don’t have a gf now. However, my sister, Merla, just broke up last night over AIM (seems like a rough way to do it to me).

So who else need to sit down and cry? We’re all here for you :slight_smile:

I have a feeling I am about to. Whether it is my choice or not. I kind of want to do a pre-emptive strike but I am not a hottie that has men flocking to me and he does provide some, shall we say, comforts.

Just broke up with my GF of four moths today because last week she told me she cheated on me with her ex-boyfriend. I already was in a relationship where I took someone back after cheating, and they cheated again, so I’m not going to let that happen again. I didn’t want to do it, but I had to.

I can’t tell you the details. But know I am not someone who hurts easily. My heart is so utterly broken that it is practically impossible for me to feel anything else. Every day is in slow motion for me. When I go out I fear everyone can see the pain in my heart. I have been on many dates and have been asked to begin relationships twice. But my heart just can’t do it. I have every reason to be happy. The dream job, lost 20 pounds, quit smoking, new wardrobe, bills getting paid sooner than I dreamed, great home life, even remodeling after waiting for over 10 years. Yet, I sit here and cry when I am alone. He left six months ago. :wally

I broke up with my last girlfriend nine months ago. And we’d only been seeing each other for ten weeks. So I’m not, like, emotionally distraught or anything. But the sex was really good. God do I miss the sex.

Sob

My one last hope for a workable relationship ended over a year ago. Just like the times before, I really thought she was “the one” and was destined to become my wife, only to get burned in the end and left feeling disappointed and depressed. We had a lot in common and got along well, and the sex was sure nice, too. It didn’t seem like anything could come between us, but then in the last couple weeks of the relationship things were on the decline and I knew something was up, but I didn’t want to speak up about it lest I appear insecure. One night we went out to dinner and she dropped the bomb on me. She broke up with me and told me that she wanted to get back with her ex-husband (an abusive prick who had been in prison and was getting out). Yeah, it hurt like hell and I just wanted to crawl into a hole and sulk for a week. I was even sent home from work the next day since I looked so sick and pale. It took me about a week to sort out my affairs and clear my mind before I felt I could get on with my life. In retrospect I think I am better off without her, especially if she’d rather go back to some alcoholic wife-beating asshole. I’ve thrown in the towel on dating for good and life’s never been better. I’m wearing black this coming Valentine’s Day and I encourage everyone who has sworn off relationships and dating to do the same.

bouv, I’ve had similar experiences and I’ve learned that a leopard never changes its spot; once a cheater, always a cheater.

<raises hand>

I posted a bit about this briefly in an unrelated thread of my own that I hijacked. January 2 my bf Oscar called very upset about a fight with his family, who were hassling him about being unable to find work. I brought him back to my place and thought I had him calmed down after a couple of hours, and, being exhausted, we went to bed. About an hour later he got up, got dressed and left without explaining where he was going. I hear nothing from him until January 7 when he calls. We arrange to get together the 8th. He explains more about his problems with his family and how he’s been staying with a friend, and he hasn’t called me because he doesn’t want to burden me with his problems. I try to explain the importance of sharing problems with the person you’re in a relationship with. He left that night and that was the last I heard from him. I called his house several times over the weekend but honestly I have no idea if he’s even still living there and, if he is, if his family is giving him my messages. Regardless, his failure to contact me–again–is inexcusable. I’m starting to have revenge fantasies. Many of them involve calling INS on his entire family.

Oh, and out of four relationships I’ve been a party to in my life, this is the third which has ended with abandonment. I apparently am capable of attracting only those people with that special combination of desperate neediness and utter disregard for my feelings.

Just got dumped a few days before Christmas. He married&divorced the first woman he dated and I am only #3 even though he’s 36 years old. He left using the line “I want to date other people”, the only problem is he’s not very social and as you can see by his track record has very little charm. We were rather compatible but live in different states, so the dumb@ss walked away from a good thing because it was difficult in search of something local.

Whoa, I think I’ve had a long day. I read the title as “Who’s spit up on your bf/gf lately?”

STMB has sunk to new depths for sure…

Bangs head on the desk
It was just chance that I wandered over here today after cleansing the house of my ex’s photos and deciding I needed to revamp my webpage. And here I see MY OWN BROTHER MADE A THREAD ADVERTISING MY BREAKUP. I don’t know whether I should thank him or beat him up. My brother, that is.
I guess I’m kind of glad it’s here though. Maybe some people can answer some questions.
I just blocked Zac (the guy) for a minimum of a week so I could mourn. Why, because I wasn’t doing it properly. I’ve been having to induce crying to grieve. Because he was still IMing me as if I was a friend, and because of this my twisted little mind was telling me that if he was being so friendly, we must still be together and it was all in my mind. But this is not the case.
I’m trying to find ways to stop loving him. He really was a catch: pre-dental, 23, muscular, eternally optimistic, sweet, gentle, passionate, funny, everything.
He’s only the 6th guy I’ve dated (I’m almost 19) and it was the longest relationship (3 months) I’d had. Has anyone ever gotten out of a relationship and all they cared about was trying to get back together with them?
Now really what I ought to do is list all his faults so that I will end up hating him and realize I’m better off without him.
Merla

Well, Merla, I don’t know about getting to the point you hate him.

I think it’s possible to remember the good times you had with someone, and to realize that yes, you were happy with them for a time. Even if now it’s over.

It’s hard when one person is ready to let go and the other is not. I ended a relationship several months ago where I was the one who was ready. And while it was a tough decision to make, it wasn’t nearly as tough as the end of my previous relationship, when I was the one who wasn’t ready.

Maybe you could think of all the things you now CAN do now that you don’t have to plan your schedule around someone else. Think positive, girl!

Wow, he used instant messaging to break up with you? Did you guys date in real life or was this an online romance? If you’ve met in person, I think using IMs to break up with you is really tacky!
It is good that you’ve decided to stop talking to him. I think it’s possible to be friendly with an ex - but NOT right away; it’s just like rubbing salt in the wound if you have daily contact with someone you’re trying to get over. I agree you dont want to hate him though. The saying is “Hate isn’t the opposite of love; indifference is”. Eventually, you will reach a point where he doesn’t even cross your mind regularly, and then you’ll know you’re over him.

Vanyel didn’t get the whole story, he (Zac) actually broke up via email. We had just talked online a couple hours before. Yeah, a phone call would have been nicer.
No, we dated in person. We go to the same college. But we’ve been seperated over winter break, he lives in Florida and I live in Ohio. He;s back on campus for winter term which is for upperclassmen, and me being a freshman means I don’t go back until Feb. 1st.
I tried my hardest to keep things together over break, and I really don’t think it could have gone a different way had I even been there. I knew we were different but was too in love to break it off. He was able to see clearly. He’s a baptist, I’m a pagan. He’s allergic to cats, I love them. He’s pre-dental, I’m dentalphobic. Most importantly, he’s a republican, I’m green party.
But right now I’m still seeing past all that because my mind is just so boggled. I really thought this one would last. I will miss him so much. And now I have no massuese.
Merla

Madline …I sympathize with you so much. It happens to me almost daily as well. I am in the final stages of a divorce after 24 years of marraige.

Serious hugs to you all. :frowning:

It’s threads like this that make me wish I had the money to take you all out to the zoo where we could have some ice cream (even though it’s quite cold) and look at the monkeys. Monkeys are good for cheering folks up, I find.

Much love to you all, and much hugs. And much monkeys.

Quote Toddly …“Madline …I sympathize with you so much. It happens to me almost daily as well. I am in the final stages of a divorce after 24 years of marraige.”

Toddly, I hope you have been doing as I do. Improve your life until it no longer resembles anything that he left behind. Change your bedroom, move the bed, buy new sheets, or buy a smaller bed as I did (doesn’t remind me of him and cleans the air for the next time someone else shares it). Use the extra space to exercise in. It gives you something to focus on and is not self-destrustive. Hopefully by the time I am over this, my life will seem so much the better for him leaving. I have always been of the mind that setbacks are just opportunities to become better than you are now.

Still, I know your pain. Too bad he couldn’t be here to see how well he could have had it.

Yeah, until you get the feces thrown at you. All fun goes right out the window at that point.

I really loved my boyfriend. We’d been dating since last November or so. He’d been gone for basic training and tech school since February, but assured me over and over again that everything would be fine when he got back. He always called whenever possible - he made waiting until September easy.

Then he flipped out. Suddenly he just wanted to be friends. I gave him time, but then he just totally didn’t want anything to do with me. All he wanted to do was complain about life and hang out with his loser “best friend” who is thisclose to getting in major trouble regarding his career.

I still don’t know what happened. He went from being the most caring, perfect guy I have ever met to just not caring about anything. He told me he wanted to chill for a while, implying that he would pick the relationship back up later. I could understand that and was fine with it - but he didn’t even want to talk to me anymore. Then I found that he had changed his Emode profile to indicate that he was looking for another girlfriend - WTF? He tells me that he is just too stressed out to be able to give his all to a relationship, but now he’s looking?

He made me a lot of promises, and now he’s broken them all. The exchange of borrowed books and CDs was last week. He hasn’t contacted me since.

Sigh.

Fine. No monkeys for you!

How about… We go see the lions? We can watch stupid people jump into their inclosures and taunt them!