It’s not that difficult a concept. Being attracted to Asian women because you like petite women with black hair and brown eyes - there’s nothing wrong with that. The problem is that many men who have a thing for Asian women - exclusively Asian women - are not only attracted to Asian women because of their looks. They have a mental image of what an Asian woman is like, and they assume that all Asian women fit this stereotype. Oftentimes this stereotype involves words like “submissive” and “exotic.”
Although I think that guys who actually live in Asia find out very quickly that this stereotype is not true. Expats in Korea have a different stereotype in their minds when they think of Korean women: beautiful but demanding and high maintenance, and oftentimes loving the drama.
i don’t know, but the typical one to two head height difference cannot help. even if the guy’s height is shorter, making it less than a head’s difference, you might wonder if that is part of his reason for the matchup. all that is none of my business of course, and no big deal at all.
Ah, on looking up the definition, I see that I have been misusing feminine to mean girlish, sweet, dressing in a womanly way, trying to look attractive etc.
So I am at a loss as how to describe western women in one word, but in my experience western women tend to be excessively PC, domineering, demanding and trying to be masculine.
I think reading Doggo’s posts has probably cleared up a lot of people’s questions about why men who have dating preferences for Asian women are so often targets of suspicion.
Whilst it is true Korean men beat their female partner up three times more than American men, Korean women domestically abuse twice as much their domineering and demanding masculine American sisters.
I think the OP question really was why is dating an Asian woman such “a thing.”
Answer: because a bunch of nerds “trekking” to their idea of thetech- orient made it a thing.
I’m glad that whole fantasy world is done – unlike Shatner’s upbraiding of nerds, that little public fetish display has actual people involved. Including people who have nothing to do with one another, and in many cases, fight to the death.
A hai! Samurai! Shaolin brother! Thai kickboxer!
It’s ridiculous, and it has a history of being a fetish among affluent white Europeans, both homosocially and sexually.
Doggo, of course, is under the misconception that the norm for women in the world was ever to be girlish and sweet and concerned with dressing in an enticing way. Those were Upper Class problems, until marketing and advertising began expanding. chewsick - I dunno, I think the Asian “fetish” predates tech-nerds by a lot. As you said, Orientalism, taking all cultures Asian (from Near to Far East) and using them as signifiers of the “exotic” or “mysterious”, has been a persistent habit of the West for centuries (at least all the way to old Marco Polo). The “exotic Oriental” woman who serves as the Westerner’s plaything has been a literary type for a long time – Madame Butterfly, anyone? And the stereotype of the mail order/war bride was reinforced in the immediate post-WW2 period.
Submissive stereotype is definitely an issue and I think we can all agree on that. Exclusive race dating seems weird - especially in a multiculture place. Spike Lee had an interesting film on this in the 80’s.
I lived outside the US for 20+ years, so maybe I missed the language change where “exotic” could have a positive connotation? Does this now have a broad negative connotation as a description? (I missed the whole Oriental is a rug thing as well, but whatever, I try to use words that are inoffensive.)
Oddly enough, I’m not overly attracted to petite women with black hair and brown eyes if they aren’t Asian. Maybe it’s the epicanthic fold thing. Seriously, I dated a majority of blondes growing up and for long periods when I lived in Asia. I do have an attraction to north Asians, especially those ladies pushing 6’, and much less so to SE Asians. It’s a physical attraction thing. I’ve dated outside of these two types as wel.
My Shanghaiese wife would be happy to disabuse anyone of the demure, submissive housewife stereotype.
Precisely why I referred to “orientalism.” Everyone knows Edward Said’s little book (unfortunately his very good writing on classical music performance practices is not as well known), but to call this techno-age fetishism anything but a mere analog to Byzantism or some such is folly.
“These days” these kids with their technology know all about what they’re doing – an “Asian” in the soup deli and a shopboy in the stall.
I think pan-Asianism as a “movement” (it was never called one but it is one now) is an absurd hoax.
We don’t know it’s a hoax because Europeans love that shit, but because Asian-Europeans love Europeans who love European-…oh, fuck it, I’m done. Yeah, I know “good riddance,” whatever. I’m sick of pretending to be M. Cho anyway.
I see a lot of deconstructivist dancing around the fact here that East Asian women are just damn good looking on average, and their looks hold up very well with age. There are pop idols from the 90s like Vivian Hsu and Shu Qi, well into their late 30s, who look just as hot as ever; and most gals my own age around me here are looking very trim and healthy. Meanwhile I look on Facebook at women I went to high school with back in the US, and half of them are obese and look to be on the verge of developing diabetes.
Exotic doesn’t necessarily have to be negative, I suppose, but I think it carries certain expectations. The idea that someone is an “other.” You expect them to be radically different from what you are familiar with. When I first moved to Korea in 1994, after living in the US for my entire life, my friends imagined I was moving to a place where everyone still lived in houses with sliding paper screen doors and ceramic tiled roofs, and people performed things like tea ceremonies every day.
My SO gets annoyed when people describe Ireland as “quaint.” I think it’s a similar reaction. Maybe the person using the word doesn’t mean to be insulting, but the people who are being described as such find it sort of condescending.
Normally I’d chide you for comparing celebrities to ordinary women but you are right, the average woman on Taiwan is a lot more weight conscious and IMHO better looking than Americans the same age. This is especially true if they are single or in a professional job.
Wah! I thought you were Korean Korean. I am super glad I refrained from praising your English earlier.
Could it be that both Korea and the Island of Ireland were victims of ineffectively-paternalistic and patronising imperialism, so they are extra sensitive about people belittling or stereotyping their country as they still remember the damage the last bunch who looked down on them did.
I’m so glad you’re in his fan club, but he’s living in a fantasy world if he thinks that his opinions are fact. Still, it’s super sweet of you to defend him.
Eh, it’s a bit complicated. I am “Korean Korean” but my family lived in the US from when I was 6 months old to when I was almost 13. I’ve been in Korea ever since, other than the two years I was in Chicago for grad school.
I actually don’t think Koreans are aware of things like Orientalism in western culture. I am particularly sensitive to these issues because that’s mostly what I studied at university. Similarly, my SO has lived outside of Ireland for the past fifteen years, so I think he’s more aware of certain stereotypes than people actually living in Ireland might be.
I’m referring to women in today’s world. I wasn’t around way back before advertising.
Having lived in both the west and Asia, I can make the comparison.
Yes, attractive, man friendly Asian women are in Asia.
You probably won’t find many in your neighborhood.
While I don’t think that Asian women’s looks “hold up” better with age than western women, there is no doubt that most Asian women are extremely attractive.
Seriously, I dated a majority of blondes growing up and for long periods when I lived in Asia. I do have an attraction to north Asians, especially those ladies pushing 6’, and much less so to SE Asians. It’s a physical attraction thing. I’ve dated outside of these two types as wel.
Eh, it’s a bit complicated. I am “Korean Korean” but my family lived in the US from when I was 6 months old to when I was almost 13. I’ve been in Korea ever since, other than the two years I was in Chicago for grad school.