And if **I ** am elected, I pro,ise to have a giant cut your taxes (he’s 7feet 3 inches) All tax cuts will be $.01 per person or less, unless you’re a giant corporation & funnel illegal contributions to me, then the sky’s the limit!
With magic, you can turn a frog into a prince. With science, you can turn a frog into a Ph.D, and you still have the frog you started with.
I’m with voguevixen here. I doubt I’ll even snag a nomination as I am one of the semi-transparent masses, but I went in early and voted in a dangerously haphazard manner and even nominated 1 each in Mr and Ms Congeniality – though they probably won’t win now because of it, poor bastards.
All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people.
Da Ace, I got a vote that’s (not) for you.
“The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.”
-H.P. Lovecraft, “The Call of Cthulhu”
TVeblen, you’re not taller than me, are you? Because judging from the voting so far, everybody seems to think you are. But, if the votes have it, it must be so…
Also, who in the flaming blue hell nominated me for “best photo in profile”? That’s a TERRIBLE picture! I only sent that one in because it was the only picture of me I have that isn’t more than two years old.
Anyway, vote for me because I know where you live.
An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille.
If I finish first in any category, I promise to:
1.) Give everyone a $500 tax rebate and silk underwear.
2.) Have all trolls flayed alive, then rolled in salt and burned over a slow fire.
3.) Throw a magnificent party replete with all the intoxicants I have personally done and dancers of both sexes.
Is this the nom de Internet of someone who would lie to you?
The Coyote gnaws …
but he does not swallow.
Mullinator, you should vote for me because I can spell, and because I doubt anyone else is gonna, and because I have only been flamed for doing something stupid once. Mostly though, you should vote for me because I’M NOT SATAN. Nuff’ said.
“Solos Dios basta” . . . but a little pizza won’t hurt.
Wow, lots of great reasons, but when PunditLisa said
I realized I had found my ideal candidate.
Sympathy votes will be thrown towards Kat, because she sounded kinda sad in her post. And of course, I will vote for everyone else that posted in this thread.
There, that ought to cover all of my bases. Oh yeah, I also promise to vote for anyone who has read this thread and not posted.
Have you nominated and/or voted for your favorite huggable Mullinator today?
I deserve a gratitude nomination because I participated in making Mullinator/Lauralee/UncleBeer sandwiches, and because I voted for you!!
Did someone say something about sandwiches? I missed lunch today.
“Many count their chickens before they are hatched; and where they expect bacon, meet with broken bones.”
–Miguel de Cervantes–
Well, I have to say that something is just not RIGHT when a fellow (me, Ukulele Ike) who actually came in FOURTH PLACE (a three-way tie with Byzantine and SqrlCub) in the “Most Popular Poster” contest is only nominated in THREE LOUSY CATEGORIES (“Best One-liners,” “Funniest One-liners,” and “Poster You’d Most Like to Meet”). Feel free to vote for me in those three, but really, I certainly DESERVE to be nominated in many, MANY other categories, as well.
And you should vote for me because, in Opal’s alphabetical listing of Regulars, I’m on top of UncleBeer and right under TubaDiva.
See? Huh? Does ANYONE else around here give straight line like I give straight line?
Uke
Actually Uke, I’m surprised you’re mentioned at all in “The Poster You’d Most Like to Meet,” category. Since encountering you, I’ve been doin’ my best to spread anti-stringed instrument propaganda. It must be time to crank up the defamation machine again.
“Many count their chickens before they are hatched; and where they expect bacon, meet with broken bones.”
–Miguel de Cervantes–
Because I am so damn new and am ignorant to what you are talking about. Sorry, couldn’t resist
“The idea of a walk-in closet sounds frightening. If I’m ever sittin’ at home and a closet walks in, I’m gettin’ outta there.” ~George Carlin
Woohoo! Yes! Sympathy votes are acceptable, although pity votes is really what I was angling for.
Was it the run-on sentence that clinched it? I have a theory that if you babble on endlessly, people will give you whatever you want just to shut you up.
<h6><font color=FF3388>All smilies were ruthlessly expunged from this post, out of deference for Chief Scott</font></h6>
Your Official Cat Goddess since 10/20/99.
“I’m a god. I’m not the God–I don’t think.” --P.C.
Yes.
Oh boy, my first official case of sig line writer’s block.
Whatever you do, please, please don’t vote for ME!!!
OK, so Brer Rabbit was my idol…
“Universe Man - He’s got a watch with a minute hand, millenium hand and an eon hand and when they meet it’s a happy land - Powerful man, Universe Man”
-TMBG
What? I won?! MOI! WOO-HOO!
Do I get a lovely tiara???
Is voting done? If not, how the hell do you do it? I know Opal shut the site down, but it is up now and I’ve been trying to vote. I can nominate, but not vote.
Anyone? Anyone?
Teaching: The ultimate birth control method.
Ten reasons to vote for me (in any category).
1 - I promise I won’t raise your taxes.
2 - I’ve had two user names, so a vote for me counts twice.
3 - I’m a comic strip character. I can use my inside influence to get you an introduction to sexy characters like Blondie, Lil’ Abner, or Marmaduke.
4 - I’m taller than Michelle and shorter than John Carrado.
5 - I’m real congenial. I never flame people and, let’s face it, some of you are real losers.
6 - I’ve got every book in the Straight Dope series. Even Ed Zotti’s.
7 - I’m from New York and I’ve met with Dopers in Texas. Two key electoral states. (This is in case I don’t win and need to fall back on the Vice Presidency.)
8 - I have never used Smileys but I fully support the rights of those who choose to do so. How’s that for waffling on the issues?
9 - Because even though I’m 38 years old, elemntary school children still pick on me.
10 - Because in your heart, you know I’m right.
Ten reasons to vote for me (in any category).
1 - I promise I won’t raise your taxes.
2 - I’ve had two user names, so a vote for me counts twice.
3 - I’m a comic strip character. I can use my inside influence to get you an introduction to sexy characters like Blondie, Lil’ Abner, or Marmaduke.
4 - I’m taller than Michelle and shorter than John Carrado.
5 - I’m real congenial. I never flame people and, let’s face it, some of you are real losers.
6 - I’ve got every book in the Straight Dope series. Even Ed Zotti’s.
7 - I’m from New York and I’ve met with Dopers in Texas. Two key electoral states. (This is in case I don’t win and need to fall back on the Vice Presidency.)
8 - I have never used Smileys but I fully support the rights of those who choose to do so. How’s that for waffling on the issues?
9 - Because even though I’m 38 years old, elementary school children still pick on me.
10 - Because in your heart, you know I’m right.
Ten reasons to vote for me (in any category).
1 - I promise I won’t raise your taxes.
2 - I’ve had two user names, so a vote for me counts twice.
3 - I’m a comic strip character. I can use my inside influence to get you an introduction to sexy characters like Blondie, Lil’ Abner, or Marmaduke.
4 - I’m taller than Michelle and shorter than John Carrado.
5 - I’m real congenial. I never flame people and, let’s face it, some of you are real losers.
6 - I’ve got every book in the Straight Dope series. Even Ed Zotti’s.
7 - I’m from New York and I’ve met with Dopers in Texas. Two key electoral states. (This is in case I don’t win and need to fall back on the Vice Presidency.)
8 - I have never used Smileys but I fully support the rights of those who choose to do so. How’s that for waffling on the issues?
9 - Because even though I’m 38 years old, elementary school children still pick on me.
10 - Because in your heart, you know I’m right.