Yes, yes indeed. I don’t necessarily want to act on those thoughts, but sometimes I do look at an attractive man and wonder what he’s like in bed.
I notice he’s attractive, but I don’t think, “I wonder what it would be like to boff him?”
More likely I think, “I wonder what HE’S like?” As in, is he kind, is he sweet, is he funny? Because I can already see he’s sexy and attractive!
Quickly moving on to, “Y’know, if I wasn’t with…I believe I’d be checking that out!”
Almost never - as in twice in my entire life.
What Rushgeedgirl (Post #5) and jtur88 (Post #7) said.
Seriously, there’s way too much hostility from many of you females because so many of you seem to think that the only thing males want with you is a hot roll in the hay.
There’s a whole lot more than that, less male-hostile and less sex-hostile, even mentioned by many female respondents in this very thread, that you don’t seem to imagine that males would like also.
A female friend with whom to engage in:
[ul][li] Congenial dates, consisting of social or recreational activities together: Day trips at the beach, hike in the redwoods, visit museums – all the stuff you see ad infinitum in all those on-line personals ads.[/li][li] Companionship[/li][li] Affection, both emotional and physical. Holding hands (e.g., while engaging in the first bullet above), hugging, cuddling, massage, “making out”. Clothes on or clothes off. You get the picture. This is all apart from actual sex.[/ul][/li]All those “nice guys” and “Nice Guys™” who aren’t getting laid, also aren’t getting any of the above. The whole concept of “gettingt laid” has become a proxy for all that – males who complain of not having any “success” with females are actually complaining about not getting any of the above – yet they are invariably flamed to hell (and not back) for complaining about “not getting laid” – when, in fact, when you read their complaints, that’s not actually what they usually said.
Challenge: Find threads or blogs or whatever on the topic, on this board or elsewhere (other than outright MRA sites), and see how many of actually specifically mention “not getting laid” as their complaint. Mostly, not. Find threads or blogs or whatever where such relationship-challenged males explicitly claim “entitlement” – you won’t find that. (The only case I know of, who explicitly claimed “entitlement”, was that guy who shot up the sorority in Santa Barbara a while back, in the manifesto he left.) Yet, in response, such males are invariably thoroughly flamed, reviled, demonized, and vilified because they are accused of just wanting to “get laid” and, falsely, they are accused of feeling “entitled”.
What jtur88 said. Just like what Rushgeekgirl said. Males, just as much as females, want the kinds of things that I listed above. And, yes,
Yes, sex is important too. Males want that as well.Nobody’s flaming any females (well, other than ZPG Zealot) for the rare male-positive things they are writing in this thread. (And thanks to beowulff for raising this topic!) Now, when was the last time any males didn’t get flamed for writing/saying/thinking the same things about females?
@Rushgeekgirl: Oops, sorry I misspelled your name above.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say that yeah, I often think about boffing some random hot (to me) dude. Good grief, something got to make me sleepy from time to time.
This. Said it better than I ever could.
Occasionally, yes; how often is a function of how attractive the guys I see are and of the time of the month. One of the signs that I’m about to have my period is that I’ll find myself considering guys who would normally not get half a look, much less a second one.
On another note: that whole “a man and a woman can’t be friends without sex getting in the way” PoV contains enough manure to fertilize Sahara.
Yes, but I don’t experience it so much as “wonder what it would be like to have sex with him” as just suddenly feeling all sexual. There’s never a feeling of “let’s you and me go somewhere now!” just more like “look what lovely lovely sexy men there are in the world, sex is nice!”
The frequency of this response goes up about 1000% when I am ovulating. In fact it is the number one sign that I am ovulating. When I start turning my head in traffic to look at men and going around with a goofy smile all the time I note the symptom and record it along with all my other cyclical events. Also at ovulation the attractiveness threshold needed to provoke this response goes way down.
Sometimes yes, especially later as mentioned by wipetheclock.
Thanks for the responses, folks.
Sometimes, these Male vs Female threads make me feel that men are the only ones who have a sex drive. It’s nice to know that regardless of what some people think, both men and women are sexual creatures.
I’m going to vote yes.
I don’t know anyone who thinks that women aren’t sexual creatures. Just - as a generalization and remember that people are individuals - women tend to be pickier and need more mental engagement than “I’d hit that” - most of the time.
No. I want to know a person before I boff them.
Yeah, it’s a perversion, I guess.
If I see a really hot guy I might think “damn, dude is hot!!” and talking to him I might blush and get a little flustered but I don’t think I’ve ever thought I’d like to have sex with him. Penises are funny little guys and the attraction is to the person it’s attached to, not to it.
What comes out in all these male-hostile threads about what pigs all males are – and even in not-so-male-hostile threads like this one – is that the females would like to have real relationships with males – maybe even including sex – with males and that males (hang onto your seats for this) even feel likewise – BUT…
That male-hostile females have utterly obstructed and forbidden any mechanism by which such relationships can be initiated. Even simple “flirting” is rape now (on college campuses anyway). Males don’t dare say a kind word or give an “approving” glance toward a female without being vilified. Even if there are some not-so-male-hostile females around (as this thread, astonishingly, seems to imply), how do you imagine you can get acquainted with any males when all males have to walk on such precarious eggshells every waking moment – a phenomenon I just recently dubbed “EWM” (Existing While Male). ?
I just looked up “spank bank” at onelook.com which searches over 1000 dictionaries. Not one of them recognized the phrase. Even the wildly open-minded UrbanDictionary.com has never seen it.
I now feel a little less unhip about not knowing “spank bank.” By the way, urbandictionary.com accepts new entries, so wipetheclock might want to add to their data bank. I have a few words in there myself, including “twitterary”.
I know you have “issues” but do you really believe that virtually all women on earth are “male-hostile”? Are you routinely attacked (physically and/or verbally) on a regular basis by these swarms of “male-hostile females”? If the world is full of “male-hostile females” why is the world ruled by men? Wouldn’t these millions of “male-hostile females” just take over?
Or do you just have mental health issues and an attitude that turns women off?
Take any personal attacks to the Pit, but leave them out of this thread.
Give her a pass, Asimovian. If we can’t have this discussion, even including responses like that, then we can’t have this thread here. Move this whole thread to the Pit if you think that’s needed.