The other night I was talking with three good friends of mine (both women), and we got to talking about sex. One of them was talking about enjoying being on top, to which another replied (approximately): “I don’t like being on top during sex because I feel like I’m so heavy, and the guy can see all my fat bouncing around.” The third one agreed.
I was dumbfounded. If I was worried about how I looked during sex I don’t think I’d ever have it, and I certainly wouldn’t enjoy it much.
And, not that it matters much, but these are not women who I would imagine to have body image issues. Relatively thin, small women.
So, to the ladies out there. Are you sensitive about how you look during sex? Do you avoid positions specifically because you’re affraid they make you look bad?
Used to be, back when I was, oh, 23 or so (and, ironically, about 20 lbs. lighter than I am right now). But now I figure that (a) ditto what ScareyFaerie said, and (b) come on, who DOESN’T look funny during sex?
Is she the only one who’s concerned about it? If the guy(s) aren’t bothered, why should she be? I agree with Auntie Em, everyone looks pretty silly at some point!
That’s my thought. But, this is definitely someone who doesn’t have a SO at the moment, and was speaking as a general rule, not based on specific feedback from a specific guy.
Yeah, but I still don’t get it. It’s sex. No matter who you’re in bed with, it’s past time to wonder whether he’s attracted to you. Assume yes, and get on with it.
Seriously, who can have an orgasm while she’s wondering how her ass looks? And since orgasm is kind of the *point * of sex, then why bother if you’re just going to spend the wholet time worrying about whether you’re pretty?
Yes, I’m sensitive. When I was twenty years old, I dated a guy who never wanted to have sex. I realize now that logically, he was an idiot and it wasn’t my fault. But ten years later, I still believe deep inside that I’m just too ugly to have sex with–and I’m not ugly. I’m not even that fat. But what one knows and what one believes can be vastly different, especially when you’re talking about female body issues.
I don’t avoid positions and I try to put all doubts out of my mind when it gets down to the fleshy part, but there is always a small voice in my head that says “This guy is only having sex with you because he couldn’t find anybody hotter.”
Honey, you’ve just found the root of all my personal sexual difficulties. :rolleyes:
I know that guy. It can be devastating on the ego. The only thing that brought me back from the brink was the fact that he did the same thing to all the subsequent women in his life. It was definitely him.
I’ve been married for 20 years.
After the first child sex only in the bed room no lights.
After the second child, pretty much no sex.
I haven’t seen her naked in almost 13 years and haven’t “done the laundry” in 8 months. Drives me nuts!
For what it’s worth, I spend plenty of time (or at least more time than I’d like!) worrying about whether this or that guy is attracted to me, or whether I’m sufficiently attractive generally. But in bed? No. When it gets down to the fleshy part, I’ve got my eyes on the prize.
Nope, not a bit. But then again, I am in pretty good shape.
Men enjoy looking at women, they are very visual, and I enjoy being ogled. (Not the general public, and not letting it all hang out, thank you very much.)
Enthusiasm and enjoyment are way more important than perfect body types.
Absolutely. I love when she’s on top because I can see and feel so much more of her than if I’m on top. And none of the women I’ve been with were perfect models, but they were all a hell of a lot sexier than any model to me when we were together. Plus I think this whole “perfect body” preference is overstated. Flesh is good.
I’m a little self-conscious right before the very first disrobing: I’m fat but I know how to dress so that I look slightly less fat, so right before the first time with someone new there’s a little voice in the back of my head saying, “Ok, he knows I’m fat and he’s hard anyway, but what if the first time he sees me totally naked he’s like ‘dayum, I didn’t realize she was that fat!’” But it’s only a fleeting thought, by the time we’re both naked I don’t care again, and I’m certainly not self-conscious about it during sex. I fuck like I’m hot.
