Darling, I love you, but give me Park Avenue!
A wealthy person in a Third World city or a middle-class person in a First World country?
Middle class in first world…just what I am.
Live in the mountains or by the sea?
Middle class person. More opportunity for growth and advancement in a first world country.
Food replicator or transporter?
Hey, a twofer!
Mountains. Transporter (trusting it’s infallible.) I’ll be able to transport from my mountain home to my seaside vacation rental.
Travel to Mars without landing and come home or get to the surface but never return?
If I were single, the second. But I have a wife and kids, so I’ll go and come back, frustrating as it would be to go that far and not actually $%^&*! land.
You’re the President. Budget $1 billion for a crewed mission to Mars, or for global hunger relief?
If I’m President Lingel: Crewed space exploration is a waste of money. Feed the poor kids!
If I’m President Trump: pocket the $1 billion, then I can screw NASA AND poor people! Whee!
Eat a meal that is entirely kale, or a meal that is entirely brussels sprouts?
Brussel sprouts, as long as they’re roasted and spiced with garlic and cheese.
Work a suicide hotline or be a sex crimes detective?
Suicide hotline. I’d, hopefully, be helping people, and I wouldn’t want to deal with sick sex crime day in and day out.
Bran muffins or blueberry?
Blueberry~~~ ~~Would you rather loose a limb or one of your senses ?
Wow, that’s a toughie. I guess a limb, if I could choose which one (my left arm, the least useful of the four). I value my senses too much otherwise.
Visit 1970s Westworld or 2016’s Westworld?
2016 even as it is coming undone~~~ ~would you rather have lightning speed typing skills or lightning speed shorthand?
Typing. I never need shorthand.
Sit on a long airplane flight next to a bratty little kid or a loudly-snoring fat man?
Bratty little kid. I have a way of taming them.
Live for 10 years on a annual income of $1,000,000, or live forever on an annual income of $25,000?
Immortality would get old after a while, particularly when inflation kicks in and you’re only making 25k. Might not buy you a Coke in a couple centuries. So, I’d have to suffer with making a seven figure income for a decade.
eat a nice juicy worm or big crunchy beetle? (both alive of course)
If I can have good health, I’d live forever. I’d make small, long-term investments and do pretty well in future years. If I can’t be guaranteed eternal good health, though, I’ll take the ten years as a millionaire.
ETA: Uh… I’ll take the beetle. Rather crunch that between my teeth than feel a worm going down my gullet.
Be a department chair at a pretty-good college, or a just-tenured professor at Harvard?
Harvard, of course. I have Boston roots.
Have a shitty job two blocks from your house, or a great job you have to walk 2 hours a day to get to and back.
Another toughie. I guess I’ll have to buy lots of new shoes.
Beautiful mansion out in the Iowa boonies, or a small but decent apartment in NYC?
Keep Manhattan just gimme that countryside
Have a calculator app permanently downloaded into your brain or a dictionary?
Dictionary. No question.
Have a very lifelike and skilled butler or lover?
I have a lover. Give me the butler.
Have a professional service maintain your landscape or clean your house?