Wow, I'm happy

Very happy. Possibly in love actually.

After breaking up with the fiancee. I’ve been a little down in the dumps. Going through the motions and even considering moving back home to Ireland.

I’ve gone on a fair number of dates. I’ve never really had a problem getting dates but I am utterly unable to have a relationship since the serious one ended.

So, I went to my local bar here in the Lincoln Park area of Chicago around noon. Watched the Bears game and had a few pints. Not that I can much about football but it was something to do.

So, I looked like shite as I was hungover and unshowered. Baseball cap on my large head I started to nurse a few creamy pints and stare at the match. I noticed a new waitress was working at the pub. Long story short, she started to come by and we started to chat.

One thing led to the other and when her shift ended I asked her to join me for a beer.

She did. We stayed and talked and drank until 1:00am. I was obliterated and this point. Had a great conversation. We was funny, clever, charming, beautiful and always looked me right in the eyes. She works at the Board of Trade and works at the bar on weekends during the day for extra money. We talked about everything and anything. It didn’t matter. I was fascinated.

At 1 I offered to walk her home. She said she would rather go home with me.

We made love (I think I can actually say that, it wasn’t sex). I took today off of work and so did she. We spent the entire day together today. All we did was hang out and talk (mostly in bed). She left about 30 minutes ago and all I can do is giggle and smile to myself.

I feel great! I don’t know what this is but it feels good and it feels right. No guilt, no shame, no sense that you are just talking with her to bang her (sorry to be crude).

I feel alive and I just wanted to share it…with someone or everyone! Nothing cynical, no agenda. Just feeling great!

Seeing her again on Wednesday night. Already asked her to spend the night. Hopefully I can keep it together until then.

Good for you!

I hope it stays this fine. Sometimes you just know, right away.

Good luck!

I’m happy, too, and for the exact same reason! We having been dating for a month, and I like him so much I could just squeeze him until his head pops off!

Yay us! :smiley:

Wow, that’s moving fast. Not that it’s a bad thing; when it’s right, it’s right, whether you’ve had one date or a hundred.

Best wishes on your new adventure!
(And you are going to come back and keep us posted on developments, right?)

Sounds like you two really clicked. Good luck to you both. Hope it works out. :slight_smile:

My Og man, update us soon! Sounds delightful and I hope it works out well for you!

The boyfriend and I have been together for a year (as of yesterday) and I haven’t seen him for three weeks and won’t see him 'til Thursday, so I’m excited about that.

Thanks for the responses! I’ve just had a rush of happiness reading all of your comments.

I’m trying to engage in some sober reflection as this has never happened to me before (not like this anyway). For example, I’m trying to reconcile the fact that we slept together so quickly. For the life of me, I can’t find a problem with it. It just made sense. It was drunken or purely lustful, it was just right.

I’m just astonished at how I feel. I’m…er…I’m happy.

Very happy. Have not felt like this in nearly 10 years. I’d forgotten what it was like. It’s nice to be able to share this with the board as it seems easier than telling my friends (odd I know but I’m an Irish guy and I only get emotional when I drink and even then it’s usually a superficial diisplay of emotion (passionate support of a soccer or gaelic team etc.)).

So going to see her on Wednesday night and…well she is only in Chicago a couple of months so I might even ask her to come with me to Thanksgiving Dinner at my friend’s house. Ballsy move to be sure as this will be the first woman any of my friends will have met since my fiancee. I keep my dating and social life entirely seperate which should tell you how poor I am at developing relationships.


That’s all I really have to say - I love hearing that people get together and can be happy after a breakup (especially with a fiancee - that’s pretty major, you know?). I just wanted to express my happiness at your happiness. :slight_smile:


Call her right away. Call before you think you really need to. Don’t wait until you have something to tell her. Just call.


Congratulations! Good news, mate. snugs

Very cool, and ignore the naysayers.

22+ years ago, I met a woman at O’Hare - we were going on the same cruise. We ‘eyed’ each other up real good. The second night out, we sat at a blackjack table for three hours talking. The next night, I asked her to dance, and immediately kissed her. An hour later, we were in bed.

I asked her to marry me me 6 months to the day from when we met, on the exact spot we met - at the Delta terminal at O’Hare. I lied to get her there, but she forgave that.

Today, we have a fantastic 21 year old daughter and I wouldn’t trade the last 22 years for anything.

It CAN happen just like that.

Wow. Pretty romantic for a bus driver. :wink:

That’s so cool.

Some people just know. My sister moved in with her boyfriend a month after meeting him. Another month later and they were engaged. That was 20 years ago and they’re still… uh… “frisky.”

Wow. If something like this ever happens to me (WISHWISHWISH!), then I’d have to be Way Too Happier…

That’s a great story Mr. Bus Guy.

I was a little wimpy so I texted her whilst walking to a lunch meeting.

She’s on a trading floor but she responded about 10 seconds later :smiley: :smiley:

I almost did a little dance on Michigan Avenue.

Doing my best not to ask her to hang out tonight!

Actually, I had another date scheduled for tonight and I have cancelled it.

Life…life is good guys.

Thanks for all of your comments. I guess breaking up with a fiancee with whom you have lived with for 8 years, owned property with etc. is pretty major. I’ve never really thought about it too much. It’s been almost a year I guess and I’ve never really thought about it…Being with this girl though has highlighted the stark contrast between how I have felt for the past year and how I currently feel. :smack: What a shitty year it has been!

I wish you could bottle that feeling and give it to other people who are stuck in dead-end relationships. We have some Dopers who are currently having a very hard time with failing marriages, and I feel like if we could somehow get them to realize how much they’re missing, and how much better life can truly be, it could turn their lives around.

What a good point. I am not sure, however, that I can really help that much. I stayed in my prior relationship for far too long. Hurting myself and her in the process. I carry a tremendous amount of guilt for that and it hurts sometimes. Hurts a lot actually. I guess meeting this woman has reminded me that I can be a good guy and I think I can make someone else happy.

After the break-up all I did was chase women for sex. It was out and out misogyny. Really low-class behavior that didn’t even make me feel better. I went from being an arsehole to being a morose arsehole. This, however, has just changed everything. It’s the little things that she does that get me all giddy. She calls me by my last name and I think it’s endearing. She asks so many questions about my job and about Ireland and it looks like she actually cares about my responses!

Even if this doesn’t go anywhere I now know that I can (and should/deserve to) feel this way. That’s my long-winded way of saying that you can and should walk away. Yes it has been miserable at times. Yes I’ve drank myself to near oblivion every single weekend since the break up. Yes I miss her on a Tuesday night when I am bored and alone. I am a very social guy and I can tell you that all the friends in the world do not make up for a partner. Nothing can…which is why it is so very, very important to have the right partner. That is, all the misery, frustration and loneliness is worth it for that special person. Walking away will hurt but the reward is there and if I deserve it then I’m damn sure everyone else does to.

Don’t second guess it. If you felt weird about it or she did, then maybe it wasn’t the right thing. If things proceed well from here, as they seem to be, then you acted in the moment and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Usually, I like to wait a while first, but with my current SO, it was just like you describe-- blam. The transition from strangers to friends to lovers was pretty damn fast. 6 months down the road, there is some slack to take up, I can offer you that proviso, but it’s workable as far as I can tell.

Good luck to you with your new love. Being happy rocks, doesn’t it?

WTG, Lochdale. It all sounds good, and maybe she’s the one. Here’s hoping everything is still going great 6 months (and 30 years) from now!

Worst case scenario is that you’ve proven to yourself that finding someone like this is possible, so even if this relationship ends for some reason, it’s still a positive step in your recovery from the ending of your previous long term relationship.

That line’s just about sig worthy. :smiley: