In about two weeks my divorce will be granted by the local courts and I will officially be a free agent. Mixed feelings about it but overall, I’d say on the positive side. That said, I checked hallmark for some ideas about cards for divorce. There are none. No surprise there… but I think there ought to be. Don’t you?
Here’s your opportunity to write me, QuickSilver and the former Mrs. QS your best funny, poison pen, sarcastic, sincere or mundane and pointless DIVORCE greeting card.
I actually saw this one once (and wish I’d bought a bunch of them).
The front has a picture of a bunch of flies buzzing around. The caption says, “Ten million flies can’t be wrong.”
On the inside it says, “Eat shit.”
Think once.
Think twice.
Think: Don’t drive your car on the pavement.
Not that the last line has anything to do with marriage or divorce. It’s just the first quote that popped into my head when I read the title.
Okay, without actually thinking before I post. Off the cuff, as it were, how about a Hallmark Moment?
My Darling Ex-Wife,
When we married you were the light of my life
And I of yours.
Together we set out to sail the tranquil seas of Matrimony.
But caught in a squall, we were tossed in a tempest our Love could not overcome.
And so in our lifeboats we sailed our separate ways.
Our lives will continue, yours and mine.
And as they go on, we will often think of each other.
I’ll think of you getting older and wrinklier
And how your body will rot in its grave, consumed by weevils and worms.
Blessed Be! that I won’t have to be round you to watch it!
A picture of a large wooden door on the front, inside it reads
“It’s the last thing of mine that’ll touch your ass. Adios”
or
A cartoon dog on the front shrugging his shoulders, inside it reads.
“What can I say, you’re a bitch”
or
On the front of the card are two columns Plan A and Plan B Under the plan ‘B’ column is a revolver, duct tape and a shovel, under the plan ‘A’ column is a paper that has a large heading that says ‘DIVORCE’ inside it reads,