Of course, the motor car wasn’t invented until the New Testament.
When travelling to religious functions in the Old Testament God used the railways, often driving His own, very large, locomotive.
‘I saw also the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and His train filled the temple.’
My guess would be that Jezus drives a Ferrari.
Why? Well, a flashy car is the best way to start of a big religion (everybody wants to join the good-looking wealthy guy) AND it’s an Italian car, and as we all know Jezus was an Italian.
How do I know that? Think about it: He lived at home untill he was 30, his mother thought he was God and he thought his mother was a virgin.
Seriously now, I can only picture Jezus driving a VW-van, hippy style. “Groovy baby, let’s go into the back of the van and I’ll bring you closer to God”
It would be a hot rod, that he built himself.
He’s built hot rods before … hasn’t anyone ever heard that song by Ministry called “Jesus Built My Hot Rod”? Cool song, BTW.
Folks, this all simple. Ford Explorer. Heaven’s recovering from the recent influx of damned souls. Mwee hee hee!
Everybody sing: “Oh, you can’t get to Heaven on rollerskates/'Cause you’ll roll right past those pearly gates…”
Of course, not everyone’s aware of Jesus’ fondness for ice skating.
Jesus would go belly blitzing on his mad mofo superbike!
He’d drive a taxi. With the meter removed. Beep beep.
Don’t forget Moses’ penchant for British motorcycles -
“And the sound of Moses’ Triumph was heard throughout the land”
A scooter, blowing his hooter, smoking a fat cigar…
No - wait - that was one of the three wise men.
Jesus would DRIVE A WOODY? Hmmmmm…better not go there.
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I was thinking golf, ya pervert!
“Jesus saves, but Esposito scores on the rebound!”
I have no idea what Jesus would drive, but he walked on water! Maybe some sort of amphibious vehicle to transport him and his desciples across bodies of water when he didn’t feel like walking?
I have no idea what this would be doing in The Pit, either… if it was originally posted in MPSIMS, it should have stayed there!
Jesus would drive a Duck. (One of those amphibious vehicles left over from WWII which are used in Boston and DC for tours.) Maybe one of those NYC cows on board.
I think there would be a bumpersticker that says… “Honk if you love Cecil” and another one that says “I don’t drive like I’m God, I really AM God.”
he he!
SUVs make the Baby Jesus cry.
Jesus used to be able to walk on water, but now with those holes through his feet, he sinks.
