So I take that to mean, no, four-year-olds can’t actually bowl 
I don’t think a bowling alley is over the top. In many ways it is easier for the hosting parents to take the kids off site and let someone else plan some fun activities than to try to amuse a dozen little kids at your house. Especially if it’s raining or something. Throwing a party at home that includes cake and a meal and party favors and decorations can easily get expensive too, plus you have to clean before and after etc.
I think a bowling alley would be fun, especially since I have adult friends that would likely stay and bowl too, ensuring I have adults to talk to and hang out with. And I would much rather bowl than go to Chuck E Cheese’s, the place where everyone had parties when I was a kid (except it was Showbiz Pizza then.) I hate that place.
But only once, when they figure out they get less presents.
Wow. Getting all worked up and neighbor-hating over a 4 year old’s birthday party.
And on her birthday, yet.
This should give you many pleasant memories. Be sure to take a lot of pictures.
If there’s a bitch in the picture, it’s you. You don’t care if the neighbor’s kid feels bad, all you care about is your shitty “count” and your shitty 11.50. The kids would be probably willing to share shoes, etc. if the neighbor kid is a friend (and if they had a good parental role model, which they obviously don’t)
What’d you have a kid for anyway, jackass?
Because teaching morons like you how to read for comprehension is obviously a lost cause. I figured it would be better to start with a new kid then try to retrain old ones.
Well, they have bumper-bowling, where they cover the gutters.
And there was oen girl there who is definitely going to be apro when she gets older. She was 5 and puts the ball down the lane with authority!
And the 4 year olds all loved it and had a great time…no bowling assist ramps at all.
crazyjoe, I am so on your side. I’m sick of people who ignore all social etiquette and assume they can just pop into your party if they feel like it, with no notice.
Last summer, we hosted a backyard party for my son’s birthday. We invited 15 people, mostly immediate family members (like siblings and grandparents). I planned, and cooked, for 15. Thirty-one people showed up. Boyfriends, cousins, ex-wife’s aunt’s neighbor’s cousins, cousin’s neighbors, boyfriends’ neighbors… I don’t know who some of them were. Some of the invited guests obviously couldn’t read the invitations, as I specifically did not address them to “You and everybody you’ve ever met in your entire life”.
Last month, we hosted an anniversary party for my in-laws. I sent out invitations 8 weeks in advance, as I needed an absolute head-count for the restaurant. Not one single person responded to the R.S.V.P., which included two different phone numbers to call. Not one.
I had to make a wild guess at who would show up, and I was pretty close. I shall not be entertaining again soon, I hope.
Totally phrase your query EXACTLY like that. Then they might not do it again. Hey, you guys who are planning things should call EACH OTHER’S guests that haven’t RSVP’ed and phrase it just like that.
{Insert smiley if you like; I’m about half kidding.}
You’d be surprised how far you can bowl a four year old if you get a good run-up, and their heads make the cutest little THWACKS! when you get all the pins down.
Yeah, I know. I agree with you here. But you’re not crazyjoe. And it is to that situation that I was speaking.
But evidently crazyjoe doesn’t agree with calling everyone who didn’t RSVP, or if (s)he did call those people who didn’t RSVP, (s)he didn’t say. And then if (s)he did that, perhaps this particular rant wouldn’t exist. Because (s)he could’ve said to the person that they had already responded and it was too late to change at this point.
I suspect you would have lined up all the non-RSVPers and have them shot with spitwads. (Although I must add here that often those most aggressive on message boards are least assertive in real life situations. I’m finding this out more and more all the time.)
How clever.
Considering that you’re the one that took a small snippet of my post to crazyjoe out of context and used it for your little outrage fest, telling me that I have reading comprehension problems is pretty laughable. And I did indeed laugh. Thanks for that. This place gets more QG-esq all the time, although I thought her snarks were more creative.
So here’s my point. Not all people hold the same values for what is completely unacceptable behavior. Other people make contingency plans because they assume this will happen. My point was that if you’re the type of person that is going to be bugged by this, perhaps it would be better to take another tactic next time.
Now, you seem pretty determined to get all upset about how this person’s behavior is totally “wrong” and you can certainly do that if it makes you feel better. But I was just pointing out to crazyjoe that it might be a better tactic next time to either invite people that she considers close enough since (s)he isn’t willing to be assertive enough to either call his/her guests to ask them about their RSVP or tell them that their last minute self-invitations are unacceptable to him/her. Short of that, making contingency plans is another way to avoid this problem.
What a dick you are. Obviously crazyjoe is worked up not about a birthday party but about an asshole neighbor who is a bitch and a pain in the ass. The birthday party was just another occasion for this woman to be an ass. I have to say that I too have found a correlation on my wedding invitation list of people who didn’t RSVP and people I invited that I knew were assholes but I had to invite for social convention’s sake. Having to then call these people adds insults to injury.
No, you. :rolleyes:
nuh uh. you.
And the snappy comebacks never stop, they just grow wittier!
I’m feeling bitchy myself. I got an invitation early last week to a family get-together last Sunday, with the text “please call if you can’t make it”. I couldn’t, but forgot to call that day until it was too late to call, so I decided to call the next day. This pattern repeated itself over the next few days until I get a call from my mother Sunday politely asking where I am. At which point it all comes back to me and I exclaim “Oh fuck, I forgot to call <aunt>!”. Everybody was all polite about it, but I still felt like shit.
And my infraction is only about a quarter of crazyjoe’s neighbour’s. The bitch.
Iknowwhatchamean.
Last DS’s birthday, I sent invitation to all the kids in his class. I had 5 RSVP’s. I made 8 goody bags (because they come in packs of 8), but had 15 kids attend.
That’s 10 more than RSVP’d!
One lady that I’ve never met dropped all three of her kids off, one of whom was scared and slightly tearful for about the first 30 minutes and required a lot of extra attention.
I asked some of our regular-kid-friends to give up their goody bag so I could offer the bags to the unexpected guests and they were very nice about it.
It’s very frustrating to try plan an event only to have people ignore the RSVP portion of the event. I, too, have had the feeling some of these guests didn’t want to commit because they were waiting for something better or more fun to come along.
It seems as though ignoring social rules (especially for kid birthday parties) is the norm now.
Heh. Have you seen what “at home” parties can turn into these days? Fairy princesses, clowns, magicians, facepainting, bouncy castles … comparatively a bowling alley could be quite simple and hassle-free. I’m a big “simple parties” supporter, but I’m totally tempted to steal that for Rachel’s 4th birthday in a coupla months.
What I can’t get over is the size of so many parties. That’s not really a new thing either (I remember back in primary school, kids who invited the whole class every year) but now I’m in charge of running some of these things I have no idea why parents put themselves through the drama. Our guest list for next time is quite likely to number six, and it’s only that big because she posesses five cousins and a sister…
Yeah, kid parties can get out of hand. And for young kids, don’t forget, for each kid, you’ve got a parent coming too. So a party with “a few friends” soon becomes 24 people in your house. I couldn’t handle it this year. My daughter is having 3-4 friends over, we’re running through the sprinkler, watching a movie, and having cake. (And I called and coordinated with the parents before setting it up firmly, so I know that people can come.) Last year I invited about ten kids to a party at the park & rec gym - it’s a flat $150 fee for up to 12 kids or something. Turns out several people were unavailable, and then my best friend of all people, simply failed to show up at all, because they just forgot about it. So my poor child had two friends in a huge echoing gym - it was awful.
Anyway, I’m with crazyjoe and Kimstu - not inviting the kid next time is not an act of vengeance or petty. It is sanity. Every host has a right to determine the guest list, and someone who’s shown herself to be a presumptuous ass has put the host in the position of cutting her to preserve peace and order. And as I said, four year olds are a package deal with their parents. As was said, it’s sad that the ass of a mom is going to ruin things for her kid. That doesn’t mean that crazyjoe has some moral or etiquette obligation to sacrifice his family’s comfort to compensate for the neighbor girl.
For instance, my best friend is still my best friend (though I now plan our activities together with cognizance that she is quite flaky about some things). But her child is not invited to this birthday party. It’s not revenge or anger, just acknowledging that it doesn’t work for us.
As for not inviting kids to weddings - I do not understand why people get bent out of shape over it. Again, no one is obligated to invite any particular person to their event; the host has the right to decide who comes and who doesn’t. BUT, what’s driving me nuts right now is my husband’s family. They invited just him and me to a wedding 700 miles from our home. I’m not upset about that, but logistically, it is not reasonable for us to come, especially since it means either leaving our daughter behind, or paying for a plane ticket for her, and somehow finding a babysitter (not easy when every family member will be at the wedding!). So I said we can’t go. My husband transmitted our reluctance, and got a bunch of flak about how important it is that we come, and don’t we care about the family?! No, you get to either set up things so that it’s near impossible for us to attend, OR you get to get up on a cross about how important it is that we come - NOT both!
That was kinda my thought, too: when I read about having 25-40 guests to a three-year-old’s party, all I could think of was Big Love, when Nikki holds the party for her kid.
But that’s not fair, of course: just because it’s not what I’d do doesn’t mean it’s a crazy consumerist inviting crazier cultists to a party designed to terrify a child :).
It sounds as if things worked out in the end, crazyjoe; am I right? I hope so!
Daniel
While it’s clear the mom wasn’t* totally * in the right, I don’t see this as a big deal. I’m sure the bowling alley has goodie bags all over the place; this is something they do regularly. I see the mother as being considerate by offering to pay for her social mini-blunder. She’s doing your daughter a favor as well; kids want their close friends to be at their birthday party!
You go to the counter and tell them, “Listen, it turns out we are going to have one more guest. Would it be too much trouble to set the table for an extra kid? Here’s the $11.50 to cover her.” No effin’ way they’re going to say no.
NO ONE showed at my son’s 3rd b’day party. He didn’t care, but I cried.
I did the bowling alley Bday for The Kid when she turned 12. She invited 9 kids. They pricing was per person up to a certain number. IIRC it was like $11/kid up to 10 kids, then $13/person 11 - 15 kids. Reason being to use another lane (two were assigned for the up to 10, but after that another lane would be used), for additional pizza, for additional game room tokens, and for an additional Party Helper.
Luckily, even though only 6 RSVP’d and 12 showed up, we were able to get another lane. It helped that her dad worked there. But if they had been completely booked or tourneys had been going on - it would’ve been difficult for them to somehow come up with an extra lane. The gift bags were made up a week in advance by the planners - the Party Helpers didn’t have access to the stuff to just make extras.
I was pissed - three of the kids that just appeared - I had talked to the mom’s a few days prior and was told they weren’t going to be there. Noting the cost invovled, I informed them that I would not plan on them being there and that was that. One of the ‘not going to be there’s’ brought her brother. When they showed up my ex (The Dad) pulled her aside and informed her of the problem with them just showing up. She did pony up $$ for the extra kid at least.
But it’s annoying when you figure okay - the party will cost $110.00 and then suddenly it’s $169.00.