I guess I’m in a pissy mood lately, here comes another pit thread.
kidneyfailure, you are an asshole.
We have different political views. Normally in a debate, different people state their views, supports them, and lets the audience weigh the arguments and evidence to come to their own conclusions. But what happens is that I state my views, and then kidneyfailure goes apeshit and tells me I have no right to speak. I’ll admit that sometimes I am a bit to sweeping. After being reasonably reprimanded by China Guy, these days I try to remind people that my experiences are focused on a pretty specific part of China. But according to Mr. Failure, I shouldn’t be speaking at all.
He can’t just keep it at “we have different views” or actually refute what I say. He has to make it personal.
I don’t fucking dismiss your experiences. Why the hell do you think it is okay to unilaterally dismiss mine? Whenever we have different views on a subject, every time you tell me I have no idea what I’m talking about and that my experiences don’t matter. To the point where you say I’m just sitting around making shit up for no reason (oh, wait, because I’m a ignorant knee jerk sinophobe.) I’m not sure why your experiences are oh-so-much more valid, since last time I checked you don’t fit the magic “you have to be Chinese to have any sort of opinion on China” requirement. But whatever. I really don’t care. State your piece and let the readers decide. But you can’t leave it like that. You gotta attack me and say my differing views are because I don’t know what I’m talking about.
I’ve been here for two years. I spent twenty fucking hours a week in the classroom patiently asking my students “What do you think about _______? Why?” That’s all I do, all freaking day- ask Chinese people their opinions. I could be a freaking anthropologist! Then I sit in my office for hours while my students spill out stuff that would blow most people’s minds- stories of migrant parents, murdered babies, sex trafficking, kidnapping, and suicide. When I’m not playing anthropologist, I’m playing guidance councilor. And after work, I’m not exactly tossing back gin and tonics at the expat bars. I’ve got a wide variety of friends, from primary school teachers to mafia bosses. I see a lot and I do a lot. I’m out of the house just about every night, with all kinds of people. I’ve traveled to most of the major cities, and around ten provinces including Tibet. Travel doesn’t teach you a ton, but it gives some context.
So while no one interaction can sum up China, I really don’t appreciate you telling me I can’t even comment on the stuff I see from my 500+ students on a daily basis. I can’t talk for all of China, but I can state trends in my area with some certainty. THIS IS ALL I DO ALL DAY LONG FOR YEARS ON END. I can’t say it all, but I think I’m entitled to say something
I also read a lot. It’s not easy since even the god damned Lonely Planet is banned, but I’ve probably tossed back a couple hundred books about China during these years. Got a "China’ section in your local library? I’ve read it. Luckily I’ve got access to a few good English language libraries and I regularly spend my cash at the banned book store in Kunming. I read everything from history to contemporary fiction. Reading alone can’t make you an expert, but I reckon I’ve gone through the reading list of any China Studies undergrad program. I’ve got a pretty decent background knowledge to give context to my experiences. I’m not just speaking out of my ass all the time. I know my history. I know my contemporary politics. I know my language (although you find it fun to take swipes at my Mandarin even though you know shit all about my language skills.)
I’m part of an institution that has been here for 18 years, with a huge amount of institutional knowledge. We have around 100 people in four provinces, many of whom I communicate with on a daily basis. So I’ve got a pretty good idea of what life is like in South West China. Through informal travel to visit other people’s towns to the many, many, many weeks of formal cultural training we do every year, I communicate a lot. I’m not just one lone westerner reporting on isolated phenomenon. The things I say are common knowledge for anyone in these areas. These are not just my random observations. This is stuff pretty much everyone notices.
I’m not an expert. NEITHER ARE YOU. I know you are married to a Chinese person, but knowledge is not sexually transmitted. You have your own gaps, too. That’s fine. You state your case and I state mine. I never presented myself as an expert. I present lots of anecdotes, because those allow the reader to form their own opinion about what is going on. I assume Dopers understand that every anecdote is not supposed to illustrate what *every Chinese person *does all the time, but rather an experience I’ve had that I think is probably telling. But according to you, each and every one of my experiences is worthless.
But what gets me the most is when you question my motivations. You call me a “sinophobe” and imply that my goal is to defame China. Don’t you even! Don’t go anywhere near there! I didn’t spend two fucking years in a town where the sun shines an average of twelve hours a month because I hate China. The last teacher here quit after a few months, the one before that became a drug addict, the one before that spent all day crying uncontrollably. This is a hard town to live in. The air smells like freaking baijiu all day long. Go buy some Erguotou and take a whiff. That’s what I wake up to every day. Can you even picture smelling baijiu all the time? You know why I’m here?
Because I love my students. Because they rely on me. Because two years ago I stood up and formally swore that I would do this job. Because I’ve got students who are threatening to kill themselves, and I’m the only one who listens to them. Because my students often cry when they talk to me. Because so many young women have said I’m their role model. I promised I’d be there for them, and I’m gonna stick it out. I’m not making money. I’m bleeding my American bank account dry just trying to get through. I’m not taking on the numerous side jobs everyone offers me, because I truly believe my commitment is to my students. I’m no martyr. I don’t want sympathy or anything. I know I could leave at any time. I’m not doing it for glory. I’m doing it because it’s my job, and I said I’d do it, and there are things that are more important than my personal satisfaction. So, I get really, really, really offended when you tell me my motivations are not good. Two years of my fucking life, earning next to nothing, having very little personal fulfillment, for this freaking town. I’m not getting anything back from this except knowing that I was the only one who didn’t let these kids down. So don’t you dare tell me I hate China. Don’t you dare tell me I’m a knee jerk hater.
When I present my opinions on Chinese policy, I’m not attacking you. I’m not attacking your wife or her family. I’m not attacking Chinese people. Furthermore, just because I’m personally not a great match for China does not mean I think China is a bad place or Chinese people are bad. Even when I comment about the parts of the culture I don’t mesh with, does not mean I’m attacking those things. Mostly it’s just a bad fit for me and obviously works great for others. So back the fuck off. Let me speak my piece. Correct me if the stuff I say is factually incorrect, and feel free to share your experiences and views. But stop telling me I have no right to talk and stop acting butthurt and defensive just because one sole person on the Internet isn’t having the same experience in China that you are.
Whew!
