When I was young, having sex took boatloads of work. Hours of blood, sweat, and tears. Day after day of agonizing. I took ‘finding a girlfriend’ about as serious as ‘finding a job’. And this was when I was young and in friggen’ awesome shape.
I’m still in decent shape, but I’m pushing 40. Quite frankly I’m too lazy to go out and chase PYTs anymore. Couldn’t be bothered.
And lo, I’m damn near beating the girls off with sticks. Part of me (a very, very, very small part) almost wishes I didn’t have a model-esque knockout for a girlfriend.
I think that girls are attracted to guys who aren’t into the chase thing - I think it confuses them
Wow. The prize for the stoopidust pitting evar goes to…I mean, holy shit, man.
Your friends seem to be cardinal fuckwits as well. Hot chick agrees to hang out with them, they get let down mighty easy, and she goes away to have sex with someone she’s actually attracted to. It must be really confusing to be stupid and ugly and completely unaware of it.
What you’re overlooking here is that your friend is a shallow twit who couldn’t get laid by a girl he’d been dating for a year who slept with two guys on a whirlwind trip to Italy.
As it’s been said, calling her a whore is probably too harsh.
But i think there is some amount of American Teen Guy perspective not being said here.
It’s very frustrating to 18-year-old, American guys that 18-year-old, American girls find 20-something, European guys hundreds of times more attractive. We just don’t get why slightly older European men are so much more appealing to girls - and we really can’t do anything about it.
It seems really unfair, but i’ve come to terms with it now.
I mean, it’d be okay if 20-something, European girls found us ridiculously attractive.
Thank you. They may not be extremely vocal about it, but the leering and soforth…it’s a dead giveaway. Some guys make it very apparent what they’re looking for without actually saying anything. I agree that a lot of that is due to inexperience, but it doesn’t soften the turn-off.
That victim mentality of “I have to take what scraps I can get” is the problem. It sets up a power imbalance right from the outset, where the other person is solely responsible for your romantic happiness.
Even if one’s prospects are limited or non-existent, there’s always the choice to avoid or leave an unfulfilling relationship and wait for the next opportunity to come along.
This, along with Lieu’s Italian Sausage comment made my day! Best part of the thread!
Argent Towers:
You seem very invested in her choices. And, you know, I understand. I myself have, in the past, let myself get too involved in other people’s lives. I actually thought my opinion about other people’s lives mattered, as if their life was mine to dictate or something. I was wrong.
But it taught me a valuable lesson: Don’t.do.that. You make an ass of yourself.
I think that it might be a good idea to not hang out with her anymore and to hang out with girls with whom you don’t have the history. The past isn’t going to go away. Maybe in the future you can go back to being good buddies, but for now, you’re too invested. Just my humble opinion.
I also don’t understand what the big mystery is that she chose some else over them. Maybe there wasn’t any chemistry. Maybe she’s just not that into ya. Unrequited love…hey…it happens.
I have been in a steady relationship for 7 months. I’m not bitter that this girl isn’t interested in me - in fact, I have no interest in her and I’m NOT, as you might suspect, calling her a pretentious whore because I’m jealous of those studly European men that she was with and I “can’t get a girl.” I already have a girl and I am extremely happy with her.
I’m pissed off at this girl because I’m empathizing with my friends. These are my two best friends I’m talking about, and believe me, they’re not insensitive twits, they’re very nice and intelligent men, who are also good-looking and have had a good deal of success with girls. We’re not “the breakfast club,” and if you met us in real life or saw what we looked like, these asinine depictions of my friends and I as slobbering bitter teenagers (we are all over 20) would evaporate.
If this situation had happened when I was a junior in high school, I would have been condeming the girl for being a whore, while secretly wishing that it was ME that she was fucking, and envying the handsome and charming European men that she got it on with, wishing I could only be like them or be like the popular guys with spiked hair and Hollister shirts. Every guy thinks this in high school at some point.
But high school is over. That is NOT the mentality I am coming at this from. The reason I am upset over this is that this girl was TOTALLY vehement about saving herself for marriage, thereby causing my friends who dated her a great deal of anguish - and then going and having anonymous sex in Europe, AND THEN RUBBING IT IN MY FRIENDS’ FACES.
Can you guys really not see how telling these two guys about her sexual experiences was a bitchy and rude thing to do? After all that she put them through?
No, but it is pretty crappy. I mean, she’s saying to the American boyfriends, “Oh, no, I won’t have sex with you, I’m saving myself for marriage.” Then she comes back from Italy, and tells them “I had sex with some Italian guys.” The implied question of course, is “Whatever happened to ‘saving yourself for marriage’?”, and her answer to that was “They were gorgeous”.
So it is sort of a kick in the ego, there. It’s sort of saying, “I was lying about the abstinence thing. I was just saying that so I could get out of having sex with you.”
Your suspected motive for the first break-up doesn’t jive with the “would have given anything for her” bit. Because, if your suspicion is correct, he wouldn’t give up on premarital nookie for her.
The other two guys, well it takes two to tango and it sounds like she just wasn’t as into them as they were into her. There is no shame in this, from either direction.
Going from “virgin, saving myself for marriage” to “casual sex on vacation” is an abrupt change, and could have consequences or inspire regrets later. Still, her life, her decision.
Overall I’m disappointed. I was thinking some Italian chick had come to the US and was whoring around. I’ve always liked Italians.
I just now noticed this comment and I can’t believe how mean-spirited it is. Are you aware that I am an actual person and not a computer screen? My friends and I are real people, we have lives, and no, we don’t “pant for pussy.” I don’t see how you could assume that this is how I am from what I’ve told you.
I’m 20 years old. My friends are 21 and 20. We have all been in numerous relationships, all of which prominently featured mutual sexual pleasure. Therefore, as college students in a very liberal-minded social circle, it is a little weird to encounter one of our own ilk who is “saving herself for marriage.” It’s even weirder that she would then go back on that for casual sex with men she will never see again. And it is DOWNRIGHT RUDE and inconsiderate for her to bring this up in conversation with two ex-boyfriends who she refused to have sex with and for whom this was a source of great anguish.
How do these circumstances make my friends and I slobbering savages? I hope at least from my explanation you understand that I am not a moron.
Perfect!