He Hate Me Some Me FF Keeper League

Schedule
Signup Begins: First week of June
Signup Deadline: Thursday 7/31/08
Offseason Trade Deadline: Tuesday 8/19/08
Keeper Declaration: Tuesday 8/26/08
Live Draft: Monday 9/1/08 (Labor Day) at 10:30pm ET

Keeper Rules

  1. You can only keep a maximum of 3 players.
  2. You can only keep players drafted after the third round. (Fourth rounders or later only.)
  3. A player can only be kept a maximum of twice. (Making 3 total roster years.)
  4. A kept player incures a two round penalty. (e.g: drafted in the 6th, kept in the 4th.)

Hall of Fame
Year 1 winner: mouthbreather
Year 2 winner: Spiritus Mundi
Year 3 winner: Spiritus Mundi
Year 4 winner: The Mad Hermit
Year 5 winner: Nurse Carmen

Draft Order, Year 6

  1. VarlosZ
  2. Munch
  3. Ellis Dee
  4. Weirddave
  5. neuroman
  6. BabaBooey
  7. Wilson
  8. Hamlet
  9. Omniscient
  10. Jimmy Chitwood
  11. The Mad Hermit
  12. Spiritus Mundi
  13. furt
  14. Nurse Carmen

League History

2003 Season 1
The SDMB “He Hate Me, He Hate Me Not” Football League

2004 Season 2
Upcoming SDMB fantasy football league…
He Hate Me Keeper League Mid-Season Review
SDMB H.H.M. Keeper League Rules Ballot.

2005 Season 3
Yahoo fantasy football signup now open…
He Hate Me Keeper League Mid-Season Draft Review 2006
Season wrap-up [post=7136352]here[/post]

2006 Season 4
He Hate Me FF keeper league
Season wrap-up [post=8131857]here[/post]

2007 Season 5
He Hate Me So Bad FF keeper league
Season wrap-up [post=9386723]here[/post]

Eligible Keepers

  1. Varlos’ Zzzzzzz (VarlosZ)
    QB…David Garrard (QB-Jac) 8th round pick
    WR…Deion Branch (WR-Sea) 5th round pick
    TE…Dallas Clark (TE-Ind) 11th round pick
    W/R…Leon Washington (RB-NYJ) 7th round pick
    BN…Jason Witten (TE-Dal) 6th round pick
    BN…Ted Ginn Jr. (WR-Mia) 15th round pick
    BN…Kevin Kolb (QB-Phi) 16th round pick
    DEF…Green Bay (DEF-GB) 14th round pick

  2. MunchsUrbanAchievers (Munch)
    QB…Matt Hasselbeck (QB-Sea) 4th round pick
    WR…Joey Galloway (WR-TB) 8th round pick
    W/R…Jerricho Cotchery (WR-NYJ) 7th round pick
    BN…Jerious Norwood (RB-Atl) 5th round pick - kept last year
    BN…James Jones (WR-GB) 11th round pick
    BN…Alex Smith (QB-SF) 14th round pick - kept last year
    BN…Tony Hunt (RB-Phi) 12th round pick
    K…Matt Stover (K-Bal) 16th round pick
    BN…Carolina (DEF-Car) 15th round pick

  3. New York Fanboys (Ellis Dee)
    WR…Plaxico Burress (WR-NYG) 4th round pick
    WR…Greg Jennings (WR-GB) 9th round pick
    TE…Kellen Winslow (TE-Cle) 6th round pick
    BN…Laveranues Coles (WR-NYJ) 5th round pick
    BN…Brodie Croyle (QB-KC) 15th round pick
    DEF…San Diego (DEF-SD) 8th round pick

  4. Baltimore Weirdos (Weirddave)
    WR…Calvin Johnson (WR-Det) 5th round pick
    WR…Santonio Holmes (WR-Pit) 9th round pick - kept last year
    RB…Ron Dayne (RB-Hou) 10th round pick
    BN…Brandon Jackson (RB-GB) 4th round pick
    BN…Alge Crumpler (TE-Atl) 7th round pick
    BN…Brandon Jones (WR-Ten) 13th round pick
    DEF…Jacksonville (DEF-Jac) 11th round pick

  5. Rhinosaurs(neuroman)
    QB…Vince Young (QB-Ten) 9th round pick - kept last year
    TE…Chris Cooley (TE-Was) 6th round pick
    W/R…Sidney Rice (WR-Min) 16th round pick
    BN…Donte’ Stallworth (WR-NE) 7th round pick
    BN…Ladell Betts (RB-Was) 5th round pick
    BN…Jason Campbell (QB-Was) 8th round pick
    BN…JaMarcus Russell (QB-Oak) 13th round pick
    BN…Brady Quinn (QB-Cle) 14th round pick

  6. CedricBensonBusts (BabaBooey)
    QB…Brett Favre (QB-GB) 7th round pick
    WR…Reggie Brown (WR-Phi) 5th round pick
    WR…Jerry Porter (WR-Oak) 9th round pick
    TE…Randy McMichael (TE-StL) 13th round pick
    W/R…Brandon Jacobs (RB-NYG) 4th round pick - kept last year
    BN…Pierre Thomas (RB-NO) 16th round pick
    BN…Vincent Jackson (WR-SD) 6th round pick
    BN…Chad Pennington (QB-NYJ) 8th round pick
    BN…Michael Bush (RB-Oak) 11th round pick
    DEF…Seattle (DEF-Sea) 12th round pick

  7. Fourth and Nineteen (Wilson)
    WR…Andre Johnson (WR-Hou) 4th round pick
    TE…Owen Daniels (TE-Hou) 16th round pick
    BN…Derrick Mason (WR-Bal) 10th round pick
    BN…Todd Heap (TE-Bal) 5th round pick
    BN…Chris Chambers (WR-SD) 6th round pick
    K…Adam Vinatieri (K-Ind) 8th round pick
    DEF…New England (DEF-NE) 7th round pick

  8. Moridwon (Hamlet)
    QB…Jon Kitna (QB-Det) 8th round pick - kept last year
    RB…Maurice Jones-Drew (RB-Jac) 6th round pick - kept last year
    RB…Chester Taylor (RB-Min) 5th round pick
    TE…Benjamin Watson (TE-NE) 9th round pick
    W/R…Fred Taylor (RB-Jac) 4th round pick
    BN…Chris Henry (WR-Cin) 13th round pick
    BN…Brian Leonard (RB-StL) 12th round pick
    BN…Michael Turner (RB-SD) 11th round pick - kept last year
    K…David Akers (K-Phi) 15th round pick
    DEF…Baltimore (DEF-Bal) 7th round pick

  9. Curtis Salaam Benson (Omniscient)
    QB…Ben Roethlisberger (QB-Pit) 6th round pick
    WR…Anquan Boldin (WR-Ari) 4th round pick
    WR…Bernard Berrian (WR-Chi) 7th round pick
    W/R…Adrian Peterson (RB-Chi) 8th round pick
    BN…Chris Brown (RB-Ten) 5th round pick
    BN…Matt Schaub (QB-Hou) 9th round pick
    BN…Muhsin Muhammad (WR-Chi) 11th round pick
    BN…Michael Bennett (RB-TB) 12th round pick

  10. Trade Down for Kolb (Jimmy Chitwood)
    QB…Drew Brees (QB-NO) 5th round pick - kept last year
    WR…Dwayne Bowe (WR-KC) 15th round pick
    BN…LaMont Jordan (RB-Oak) 4th round pick
    BN…Santana Moss (WR-Was) 6th round pick
    BN…Ronald Curry (WR-Oak) 10th round pick
    BN…Jay Cutler (QB-Den) 9th round pick - kept last year
    BN…Anthony Gonzalez (WR-Ind) 8th round pick
    DEF…Dallas (DEF-Dal) 11th round pick

  11. Crabby Hermits (The Mad Hermit)
    QB…Tony Romo (QB-Dal) 6th round pick
    RB…Julius Jones (RB-Dal) 4th round pick
    TE…Tony Gonzalez (TE-KC) 5th round pick
    W/R…Devin Hester (WR-Chi) 13th round pick
    BN…Antwaan Randle El (WR-Was) 9th round pick - kept last year
    BN…Najeh Davenport (RB-Pit) 16th round pick
    BN…Correll Buckhalter (RB-Phi) 14th round pick
    BN…Sammy Morris (RB-NE) 12th round pick
    BN…Drew Carter (WR-Car) 15th round pick
    K…Robbie Gould (K-Chi) 11th round pick
    DEF…Pittsburgh (DEF-Pit) 8th round pick

  12. Solomon Mundi (Spiritus Mundi)
    WR…Braylon Edwards (WR-Cle) 7th round pick - kept last year
    WR…Wes Welker (WR-NE) 12th round pick
    RB…Kevin Jones (RB-Det) 6th round pick
    W/R…Lee Evans (WR-Buf) 4th round pick
    BN…DeShaun Foster (RB-Car) 4th round pick
    BN…Greg Olsen (TE-Chi) 15th round pick
    BN…Darrell Jackson (WR-SF) 5th round pick
    BN…Dominic Rhodes (RB-Oak) 9th round pick

  13. Fightin’ Quakers (furt)
    WR…Donald Driver (WR-GB) 4th round pick
    WR…Brandon Marshall (WR-Den) 11th round pick
    RB…LenDale White (RB-Ten) 5th round pick
    TE…Vernon Davis (TE-SF) 8th round pick - kept last year
    BN…Kenton Keith (RB-Ind) 14th round pick
    BN…Kellen Clemens (QB-NYJ) 13th round pick

  14. CarMenace (Nurse Carmen)
    WR…Hines Ward (WR-Pit) 4th round pick
    RB…Reuben Droughns (RB-NYG) 9th round pick
    TE…Heath Miller (TE-Pit) 7th round pick
    BN…Warrick Dunn (RB-Atl) 5th round pick
    BN…Eli Manning (QB-NYG) 6th round pick
    BN…Lance Moore (WR-NO) 13th round pick
    BN…Zach Miller (TE-Oak) 15th round pick
    DEF…Minnesota (DEF-Min) 12th round pick

Obviously this is way, way early. My subscription expires in two weeks and I won’t be resubscribing. Based on what Ed says and the track record of this board, it’s even odds whether the NFL season or free posting comes first.

Absent objections I will continue to commish the keeper league, but obviously I won’t be able to post to this thread. It’d be great if I could get a volunteer to post league updates for me, which I will provide via email. Things like trade notifications, deadlines approaching, link to the yahoo league once I create it in June, etc…

It’s never too early.

I’ll be renewing (I’m such a sucker) so I have no problem posting whatever you need posted. I’ll send you my email address (the one I check most often), just let me know whatever you need communicated. Thanks for commishing again.

Perfect, thanks.

For everyone else in the league, I’d recommend subscribing to this thread. If you have nothing to say, instead of posting to it you can drop down the “Thread Tools” menu at the top of the OP and select “Subscribe to this thread.”

Hey everyone in the league.

I got an email from Ellis Dee. He said he wanted you all to know that he really enjoys this league, almost as much as he does fucking dead goats. He also said, in the email, that he’s buying everyone who beats him a case of their favorite beer and that he thinks I’m the smartest, funniest person in the world, and that he wakes every morning wishing he could be just like me. Since he’s not posting anymore, he also wanted me to tell you all that he may be busy this season selling himself by the docks for $1.25 a throw. Give him a call at 555-3245. He goes by the name “poolboy”.

From Ellis:

The new league is up. (Password in email.) You have until August 1st to join, but in the meantime, check out yahoo’s new features:

New Live Draft App[ul][li]Kick off your season with our new and improved draft app[/li][li]Stay in control with simpler queue management and player search[/li][li]Don’t miss a turn with our new audio alerts[/ul][/li]Keeper Leagues[ul][li]Build your dynasty by keeping your best players each season[/li][li]Salvage a down year by trading for next year’s stars[/li][li]Change your league’s live draft order based on custom keeper rules[/ul]It sounds like the commish can fully reorder the draft as needed, meaning yahoo itself may be able to handle our offseason trades.[/li]
No more tedious preranking; no more screenshots.

PS: It looks like the draft order is fully customizable, but it doesn’t work until everyone is signed in. So go sign in now.

From my quick glance, it looks like 5 players haven’t signed in yet. They are VarlosZ, Weirddave, neuroman, Jimmy Chitwood, and Spiritus Mundi. Feel free to mock them, their children and relatives, their pets, and, if the occasion arises, they’re mother.

I choose to mock Hamlet for his creative use of “they’re”.

well, him and neuroman, for the off season indiscretions that he had with that circus goat.

Mock away, but I’ve signed up, actually it was probably happening concurrently with your last post.

The mockery of lesser beings merely confirms my innate . . . um . . . innatity.

Spiritus is here. Release the clowns.

Is there an open spot this year? Pleeeeeease?

From Ellis:

Everyone is in and the draft order set, so offseason trading is officially open. Remember the draft pick value chart that Munch linked. It is not the NFL’s draft pick value chart; this one is specifically designed for fantasy football.

If you go to that link and wonder where the chart is, there isn’t one. It’s just a calculator. I actually typed every pick into that calculator and put the values it spit out into a chart. Here is that chart:


1- 1 ( 1): 1889    5- 1 ( 57): 519    9- 1 (113): 111   13- 1 (169): 32
1- 2 ( 2): 1823    5- 2 ( 58): 510    9- 2 (114): 107   13- 2 (170): 31
1- 3 ( 3): 1759    5- 3 ( 59): 500    9- 3 (115): 103   13- 3 (171): 29
1- 4 ( 4): 1699    5- 4 ( 60): 491    9- 4 (116): 100   13- 4 (172): 27
1- 5 ( 5): 1642    5- 5 ( 61): 482    9- 5 (117):  97   13- 5 (173): 25
1- 6 ( 6): 1587    5- 6 ( 62): 473    9- 6 (118):  94   13- 6 (174): 23
1- 7 ( 7): 1535    5- 7 ( 63): 464    9- 7 (119):  91   13- 7 (175): 21
1- 8 ( 8): 1485    5- 8 ( 64): 455    9- 8 (120):  88   13- 8 (176): 20
1- 9 ( 9): 1438    5- 9 ( 65): 446    9- 9 (121):  86   13- 9 (177): 18
1-10 (10): 1393    5-10 ( 66): 437    9-10 (122):  83   13-10 (178): 16
1-11 (11): 1351    5-11 ( 67): 428    9-11 (123):  81   13-11 (179): 14
1-12 (12): 1310    5-12 ( 68): 419    9-12 (124):  79   13-12 (180): 12
1-13 (13): 1272    5-13 ( 69): 410    9-13 (125):  77   13-13 (181): 10
1-14 (14): 1235    5-14 ( 70): 402    9-14 (126):  75   13-14 (182):  9

2- 1 (15): 1200    6- 1 ( 71): 393   10- 1 (127):  73   14- 1 (183):  7
2- 2 (16): 1167    6- 2 ( 72): 384   10- 2 (128):  72   14- 2 (184):  6
2- 3 (17): 1135    6- 3 ( 73): 375   10- 3 (129):  70   14- 3 (185):  4
2- 4 (18): 1105    6- 4 ( 74): 367   10- 4 (130):  69   14- 4 (186):  3
2- 5 (19): 1076    6- 5 ( 75): 358   10- 5 (131):  67   14- 5 (187):  2
2- 6 (20): 1049    6- 6 ( 76): 350   10- 6 (132):  66   14- 6 (188):  1
2- 7 (21): 1023    6- 7 ( 77): 341   10- 7 (133):  65   14- 7 (189):  1
2- 8 (22):  998    6- 8 ( 78): 333   10- 8 (134):  64   14- 8 (190):  1
2- 9 (23):  975    6- 9 ( 79): 325   10- 9 (135):  63   14- 9 (191):  0
2-10 (24):  952    6-10 ( 80): 316   10-10 (136):  62   14-10 (192):  0
2-11 (25):  931    6-11 ( 81): 308   10-11 (137):  61   14-11 (193):  0
2-12 (26):  910    6-12 ( 82): 300   10-12 (138):  61   14-12 (194):  0
2-13 (27):  890    6-13 ( 83): 292   10-13 (139):  60   14-13 (195):  0
2-14 (28):  872    6-14 ( 84): 284   10-14 (140):  59   14-14 (196):  0

3- 1 (29):  853    7- 1 ( 85): 276   11- 1 (141):  59   15- 1 (197):  0
3- 2 (30):  836    7- 2 ( 86): 268   11- 2 (142):  58   15- 2 (198):  0
3- 3 (31):  820    7- 3 ( 87): 261   11- 3 (143):  57   15- 3 (199):  0
3- 4 (32):  804    7- 4 ( 88): 253   11- 4 (144):  57   15- 4 (200):  0
3- 5 (33):  788    7- 5 ( 89): 246   11- 5 (145):  56   15- 5 (201):  0
3- 6 (34):  773    7- 6 ( 90): 239   11- 6 (146):  56   15- 6 (202):  0
3- 7 (35):  759    7- 7 ( 91): 231   11- 7 (147):  55   15- 7 (203):  0
3- 8 (36):  745    7- 8 ( 92): 224   11- 8 (148):  55   15- 8 (204):  0
3- 9 (37):  732    7- 9 ( 93): 217   11- 9 (149):  54   15- 9 (205):  0
3-10 (38):  719    7-10 ( 94): 211   11-10 (150):  53   15-10 (206):  0
3-11 (39):  707    7-11 ( 95): 204   11-11 (151):  53   15-11 (207):  0
3-12 (40):  694    7-12 ( 96): 197   11-12 (152):  52   15-12 (208):  0
3-13 (41):  682    7-13 ( 97): 191   11-13 (153):  52   15-13 (209):  0
3-14 (42):  671    7-14 ( 98): 185   11-14 (154):  51   15-14 (210):  0

4- 1 (43):  660    8- 1 ( 99): 179   12- 1 (155):  50   16- 1 (211):  0
4- 2 (44):  648    8- 2 (100): 173   12- 2 (156):  49   16- 2 (212):  0
4- 3 (45):  638    8- 3 (101): 167   12- 3 (157):  48   16- 3 (213):  0
4- 4 (46):  627    8- 4 (102): 161   12- 4 (158):  47   16- 4 (214):  0
4- 5 (47):  616    8- 5 (103): 156   12- 5 (159):  46   16- 5 (215):  0
4- 6 (48):  606    8- 6 (104): 151   12- 6 (160):  45   16- 6 (216):  0
4- 7 (49):  596    8- 7 (105): 146   12- 7 (161):  44   16- 7 (217):  0
4- 8 (50):  586    8- 8 (106): 141   12- 8 (162):  43   16- 8 (218):  0
4- 9 (51):  576    8- 9 (107): 136   12- 9 (163):  42   16- 9 (219):  0
4-10 (52):  566    8-10 (108): 131   12-10 (164):  40   16-10 (220):  0
4-11 (53):  557    8-11 (109): 127   12-11 (165):  39   16-11 (221):  0
4-12 (54):  547    8-12 (110): 122   12-12 (166):  37   16-12 (222):  0
4-13 (55):  538    8-13 (111): 118   12-13 (167):  36   16-13 (223):  0
4-14 (56):  528    8-14 (112): 114   12-14 (168):  34   16-14 (224):  0

This year I can customize the actual yahoo draft picks, so after every trade is accepted I will reflect the changes in yahoo. I can also set keepers in yahoo.

This year’s draft is going to to be a breeze.

Cross posted here and on the league’s home page.
If you’re going to spend an even-numbered draft pick on a keeper, might I suggest you get full value for it by trading that draft pick to me for my pick in that round (the last one) and a swap of picks in the following round, in which my pick will be the first. It’s free value for both of us, and by trading with me you get more free value then you would by making a similar swap with anyone else.

Caveat: – I’ve already traded my 3rd round pick to BabaBooey, but I don’t think anyone else is going to use a 2nd rounder on a keeper.
Thanks for your time, and good luck everyone.

Open… spot?

Dude, check your private messages!

Whose spot am I taking… and does it come with keepers?

Never mind… I’m looking at Neuro’s potential keepers and it doesn’t look like any of them are worth the Round+2 price.

You have mail.

Damn. I didn’t know there was a value chart for fantasy football. That’s really cool and dorky at the same time.

It’s as though in some alternate universe, Jimmy Johnson was an accountant or something.