I’d be just ducky about it, so that cancels you out. Plus this guy put the video on youtube himself. It’s not like Choi hired a private detective.
You (and others) make it seem like the worst fate in the world is to have a 20-minute date with a guy that doesn’t look like a movie star. Trust me, I’ve been out with some women who were far from good looking, and I’ve lived to tell the tale. I didn’t die. In some cases, I even managed to have a good time. Geez, one woman (who I wouldn’t have dated if I’d seen her picture first) had so much inner beauty that I dated her for seven years. She ended up being really awesome.
I’m not getting any of that from the OP at all, or any feeling that she wants to relationship to fail. She just doesn’t want her friend to be too shocked if she meets this dude face to face.
Personally, I would never even send the first email without knowing exactly what the other person looked like. I find it hard to believe the OP’s friend wouldn’t want to know before she met him.
Hi choie! Resident fat but fabu chick here.
My best friend Sparky often does a lot of internet researchy type things beyond what I have time for. And sometimes she has stumbled upon pics of guys we know online that one of us might fancy.
This is your best friend, right? So y’all are close and she probably brings him up alot. So just wait for the next time she does and ask if she’s seen any new pics of him yet. Ask her if she would like for you to try to find some. If she says yes, wait and then send her the video link. If she says no - butt out.
If she accepts the video - then let her tell you what he thinks of him, and encourage her in either way. But let her take the lead.
If I found my best friend had found a video of the guy and hadn’t shown me - I’d be asking her why. That being said - she and I have different tastes and what appeals to me doesn’t appeal to her and vice versa. So we share and we support.
That’s my personal 25 cents (y’know, inflation and all that.)
That “cancels me out”? Are you joking? This isn’t an election.
Maybe the guy would be OK with it and maybe he wouldn’t. Do you know for sure? But hey, if he objects to it maybe you can cancel him out.
What date lasts 20 minutes?
I’d still rather know than not know what somebody looked like before I met them for a date (in fact, I flat out wouldn’t meet someone for a date without knowing what they looked like. Actually I wouldn’t date anybody I hadn’t already met in person).
I don’t do inner beauty, but for people that do, they would still presumably be able to see that in the video, so no harm done.
good grief, it’s none of your business. Leave well alone.
I don’t see how his opinion is relevant at all. If he doesn’t like people looking at his videos, he doesn’t have to put them on youtube.
Diogenes - you are assuming he posted them - it could have been the convention he was speaking at. I’m sure he knows they are out there. But don’t assume he put them up.
Dude, I hate to tell you this, but unless you’ve been married since 1998, every woman (or man) you’ve ever dated has Googled you.
Blind ones. 
I almost never do dinner or anything else involved for a first date anymore. It’s coffee or nothing. That way I can more or less control how long the date lasts. If she turns out to be a real psycho, hey, I forgot that I have to go home to call my parole officer. If she turns out to be really cool, hey, it’s a really nice day, let’s go for a walk.
I don’t know if inner beauty can come across in a YouTube video. You find it by interacting.
Yeah, I was going to say this. As creepy as it may be, it makes sense sometimes: a friend found out she had agreed to go on a date with a registered sex offender (who was listed as committing the violent kind of rape) who also had 4 DUIs. I guess it could be dismissed as creepy to look somebody up, but why wouldn’t you?
Yeah, probably. Doesn’t mean I like it.
(And to answer your next question, yes. I admit it.)
Outside of some music topics and a few football points, this is something you won’t hear very often from me: Dio is right on the money here.
“Hey, I found this link to <however she identifies him> – he seems <something complimentary>!” If she’s not going to want to pursue a relationship any further after watching it, then she likely wouldn’t have wanted to after meeting him either.
Sent it. There hasn’t been one reasonable argument against it in here.
:dubious:
What, are they meeting and eating at the Chateau Thunderdome or something?
How’s this for an approach. Have a conversation with your friend that you lead around to how good your google-fu is, and how you bet you could find a picture of that guy, especially since you work in the same-or-related field. If she bites, get back to her with the info. If she doesn’t, you know she’s not interested, so do nothing.
Well, it’s pretty rude to pull an Abe Simpson strolling into the Maison Derrière as soon as you see the guy-- you know, walking in, putting your hat down, turning around, picking your hat back up, and walking out the door. So let’s say she is absolutely repulsed by the guy, now she has to sit there and be polite for a period of time.
Is that shallow? I guess. What the hell is wrong with being shallow about people you might potentially be fucking?
The poor thing.
Oh, please. I’m not saying it’s tantamount to water boarding or anything, but the point is an awkward situation can be avoided.
Make a date, just fracking go, and suck it up for an hour or so(baring some serial killer vibe or some such).
Remember, for everytime you have to date some newly revealed fat old bald guy and sit there and be polite, some guy probably bidded his time sitting across the table from some hambeast.
AS for the OP, IF the nature of this attraction was mostly his looks and he was using an OLD and misleading picture, she IMO might have some obligation to inform. Given that in this case the attraction is mostly, and apparently seriously NOT about looks, I think the OP should stay out of it.