Blake: Boring ass song.
Phil: Even more boring ass song–turned it off halfway through so I wouldn’t die.
Melinda: More energy than I’ve heard from her yet, but nothing I’d ever listen to on purpose.
Chris: Maybe my TiVo was trying to save me from the horror that is Tony Bennett crap and I should be thankful rather than angry. Again turned it off halfway through.
Jordin: She has a great voice. That’s all I can say because I hated the song.
Ok, TiVo started recording during the judges critiques of Jordin, so I should be able to watch the rest of them…
Gina: Her voice was OK, but I was really distracted by her look this week. She looks like she’s doing a promotional tour for Hairspray 2, in which she plays Link and Tracy’s rebellious daughter.
Sanjaya: I think this guy’s found his niche. His voice isn’t strong, but he is turning into quite the entertainer. There’s room for him in the world of entertainment, I guess. Just like there was room for Tiny Tim, and Donovan, and lord knows what other twee novelty-style acts.
I think Gina sounds great on “Smile,” but I don’t understand her hair. And talk about your cabaret performances! I think I actually did see this song performed at a café. I hope Simon showing his favoritism doesn’t hurt her, because she was better than everybody except Melinda this week, and maybe Jordin, if you like what Jordin did, which I didn’t.
Oh, jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! Sanjaya is singing “Cheek to Cheek” – a song with, like, four notes – and they’re all bad. He’s so many kinds of terrible, and he might think he’s rocking that sleazestache, but he’s NOT. And the white suit is ghastly. Hate it. All of it. God, so many kinds of hate.
Haley: That wasn’t terrible, but…My dear, try this exercise. Find a dictionary. Look up the word “subtle”. Study its meaning, which is obviously unfamiliar to you, and meditate.
What is Haleydoing to this song? She’s dressed appropriately for “Ain’t Misbehavin’” – I really like this dress, actually – but she’s so much like the outcast Osmond daughter, the slutty one. I can see her cookie, ferchrissakes! Not diggin’ the tempo changes, and the vocal was the weakest of the night. And she was flat, let’s just come right out and say it – not that anyone could hear her singing, because they tell where she isn’t, what with that clever keyhole neckline on her dress.
Paula is dead right, though: Haley does look great in green. (And sparkles, as you would expect from the loose-moralled Osmond daughter.)
Oh, LaKisha. I like you, but you did too much with “Stormy Weather.”Of course your man stays away, if you’re going to nag and scream at him like that all the time! Go back and listen, very carefully, to Lena Horne. Subtlety speaks volumes with these songs. You should have listened to Tony, because your coda was gratuitous, and I didn’t like it. And you looked better in the green top you were wearing in rehearsals.
Update: That wasn’t a keyhole neckline on Haley’s dress, as I saw in the playback. Sorry about that. And they really did pick the absolute worst part of Phil’s song to play in the recap, didn’t they?
Lakisha: Very good performance, but not her best. The soundman, however, should be given a strong talking-to. The mikes have been wonky all night, but it takes a special kind of bad tech work to drown out Lakisha’s vocals with the band.
Overall, I find tonight was blah. I can’t even guess who’ll go home, because there’s enough reason to send home many, if not most of the contestants. Here’s hoping next week is brighter.
Gina was ok. The rest of the night was horrid. TiVo was doing me a favor by not recording it. I put the blame squarely on the craptacular selection of songs they had to choose from.
I’m listening along on Rickey.org and it sure is weird to hear each song without seeing the performance in the context of the show and without the judges’ reactions. Meh. I’ll take what I can get. Anyway, everyone sounds pretty good so far: Jordin and Gina sound great. Melinda is downright wonderful! Blake and Chris did just fine. Haley annoyed me, but Sanjaya – oy. I used to think he’d do okay as a studio singer. No. Not at all. Never ever. I was dreaming. He’s terrible.
I’m much inclined to agree. There are so many great songs that Tony Bennett has sung, and while this lot picked some of them, they kind of wrecked them, I think. I understand that Simon & Co. want these kids to take the old songs and do something “fresh and exciting” with them, but then we run the risk of going to that very unpleasant Michael Bublé place. And I think we got awful close, anyway. What’s so wrong with taking the songs and just, you know, singing them? “Feelin’ Good” and “Fever” and all those songs are excellent, and quite hard to sing as they’re written. Why not just leave them alone? Costume the kids, do up their hair, put a sepia filter on the camera, pull out those old-fashioned radio-style prop microphones, and just let them sing. You’ll find out who’s for real soon enough.
Not that I’m going to put any money on it, but I think Phil and Haley are going to be in the bottom three, and also either Gina or Chris R. (neither of whom deserve to be at the bottom). Sanjaya should be, but he won’t, because God hates me and wants me to be miserable.
I still hate Melinda, even though she dropped her phony “I’m totally shocked that anybody thinks I sing well. Look at how very shocked I am. Do you see how so very surprised I look?” act. I hate her.
Sanjaya is improving, but still horrible. Haley really does have great legs. Chris R. should get run over by a tank. I hated Gina this week. I hate Melinda. Lakisha… anyway. Jordin bored the crap out of me, but I still love her. How many is that? Who am I missing? Oh, Blake. Yeah. And I hate Melinda.
ETA: I forgot about Phil. He should have stuck with the hat.
I have a feeling Phil’s going to be voted off. Tony Bennett was correct: Phil does have a nice voice. But his performance…funereal wasn’t the first adjective I thought of, but his performance was lackluster.
Sanjaya: I actually enjoyed watching him. Hey, if you don’t have the voice, at least dazzle 'em with something.
Melinda: Brilliant, as always. I had no idea that “I’ve Got Rhythm” has that introductory part, so at first I was like, huh?!?
Blake: Bobby Darin you aren’t, but hey, I give you props for pulling it off.
Gina: You are the dark horse in this competition. What was it that Randy said – restrained? You took Tony’s advice and sang the song the way it was meant to be sung. And no, your hair didn’t bother me
Jordin: Powerful voice, but yeah, there was something about your performance that didn’t set with me too well. I don’t know if it was your choice or song or your interpretation…maybe both?
Haley: I can pcture you making a nice living on a cruise ship. You’ve got a nice voice, nice looks, but that’s about it.
Chris R: I don’t know…it almost seemed that your hammin’ it up was forced, like “Look! I’m going to jazz it up by wearing a hat and trying to make Blake-type moves!”
LaKisha: I think you would’ve wowed everyone more had you had held that big 'ol voice of yours back a bit. I know it’s difficult not to belt if you’re used to belting, but there are certain songs where it’s not called for as much, like “Stormy Weather”.
Who did unsurprisingly well: LaKisha, Melinda, Jordin
Who did surprisingly well: Phil, Chris, Blake
Who did surprisingly better than I expected: Haley, Sanjaya
Who bored: Gina
Who will go home: Probably Gina, but maybe Haley. It better not be Jordin. If only it could be Sanjaya.
Say what you will about the performances or the appropriateness of the style for the show, but this week blew the hell out of last week.
