How would you talk down a suicidal jumper?
A job offer!
The dumbest f@#$ing thing I’ve ever heard
Left Behind on Oct 21?
** I Am New and I Am Special
Why aren’t you part of a credit union?**
Ooo, that’s going to leave a mark.
** Turning in Whitey Bulger
I got accused of being a spammer!**
“I’ll tell you where to find Whitey for $799.95, plus I’ll throw in a 3-month supply of Viagra.”
Unable to orgasm during sex
What’s wrong with my friend? (Mental condition…)
Your “friend”. Yeah, OK.
**Can someone explain to me the shootings in the US?
How recently did firearms trump the best archers?
**
It’s easy to explain. They used firearms.
**Can someone explain to me the shootings in the US?
Unable to orgasm during sex **
Obviously the shootings more than one explanation.
** The dumbest f@#$ing thing I’ve ever heard
Bacon… In… Spaaaaaceeee…! **
**I’m morally deficient!
what do you collect **
Porn, drugs, ‘sauce’, Thomas Kincade paintings…
**Drunk driving hypothetical
How do the blind walk in a straight line?
**
If you’re driving while blind you’ve got some more problems, there.
** What brought you to the Straight Dope?
Classic One-Liners **
New Kitten thread - pix to follow soon
Wasn’t a great day, and then a dead kitten to cap it all off.
:eek: 
I don’t want to see those kitten pictures.
** If the Red Sox Pitchers Had Been Jus ta LITTLE Better…
Has there ever been a more dominant pro sports town than Boston of the last decade? **
but if they had been jus ta LITTLE Better…
What would be a good strategy for American progressives?
Joe the Plumber running for Congress
Yep. Give money to his primary campaign, even.
**Suggest a new zoo animal!
I Am New and I Am Special **
Well O.K., but you’ll have to share a cage with the lowland gorillas.
I’m morally deficient!
Why would you tell me that NOW?!
I don’t know. The time just feels right.
On the front page
**Can someone explain to me the…
Nuclear Option
Beyonce’s fake belly? **
We’ve had the shoe bomber and the underpants bomber, now it’s the Beyonce belly bomber.
** Should Scientology be destroyed?
Do scientists often admit they were wrong? **
Scientists, yes. Scientologists, never.
**Is God ever a foreigner?
Is he into me?
The Ongoing Online Dating Advice Thread
Poll: Atheist or Other?
**
if God isn’t into you, you might as well be an atheist.
Why would you tell me that NOW?!
Because the lady asked, A MMP