…sleep furiously
All those who believe in telekinesis…
… raise my hand in the air.
Thank you, I’ve had a wonderful evening …
. . . but this wasn’t it.
You look like you were cloned from an angel. Are you sure you don’t have a little clone in you?
No? Well would you like to?
Johnny, what can you make of this?
…This? Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl…
You look like a million dollars!
…All green and wilted.
That man deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass…
… and I’m just the one to do it.
The most important quality for becoming a success in Hollywood is sincerity.
…and if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
You are good, and kind…
…and do good.
A naked woman walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a double entendre…
Ah, sorry Gyrate - epic fail:
You are good, and kind - good for nuthin’ and kind of an arsehole.
A naked woman walked into a bar and asked for a double entendre… and the bartender gave her one.
If I said you had a beautiful body…
…would you hold it against me?
EDIT: Forgot the other part:
I’ve lost my phone number…
Can I have yours?
Is your mom a jockstrap?
No? Well, how does she support a dick like you?
Guess it’s not that classic.
A man is incomplete until he is married.
And then he’s completely screwed? (WAG)
Now here’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for.
And then he’s finished.
Make that:
Here* comes* the moment we’ve all been waiting for.
Man, I can’t even tell half a one-liner without messing up.
And there it goes.
This is not a book to be set aside lightly.
It should be thrown with great force.
I was fighting for your honor…
Which is more than you ever did.
Women might be able to fake orgasms.
Men can fake whole relationships.
We don’t serve faster than light neutrinos in this establishment.