**FCM ** is that an actual hospice facility where he would go to?
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There’s a facility, and there’s in-home hospice. The evaluation should determine what he needs, and unless someone is going to move in with them, he needs to be in the facility. While I was there, not only did his mind go dancing off in odd directions, but he nearly fell at least 3 times - I held him up twice.
She’s scared, she feels like she should be able to care for her husband, and in very rare instances, he’s OK and she can. But she also seems to think that if they find the right pill, he’ll be fine. And, frankly, there’s dementia in her family - both her older sisters had it - and FCD thinks it might be starting to show. She’s not a bad person - she’s a very scared, confused old lady whose world has turned upside down in the last few months.
The furnace stopped running, again.
I guess I should call and maybe they can come out tomorrow too.
Having the furnace people and roofer in the same day makes it easier on my time,
but not on the debit card.
I think I am going to take off irk this week, or maybe not, I don’t know.
I feel so discombobulated, everything is out of whack, I’m tired of all the bullshit.
Although, what I am going through is nothing compared to what you are going through FCM
and your MIL too
It would be nice if you could just put your foot down, say this is the way it’s going to be, and lay down the law.
Easier said than done, that’s for sure.
My son was fiddling with the thermostat and now the heat is on. I guess I should call the furnace people anyway.
Cerby is being a butthead. I wish we could take him to the park twice a day.
Playing in the yard and/or house isn’t enough to burn up his energy. He needs a big space to run.
If the yard were a bit bigger, I’d see about getting some agility equipment made so we could do something mentally stimulating as well.
FCMAt least she’s got you guys, but you’re right they have been through drastic changes.
I would focus her on the benefits of Dad getting skilled care, he’ll be safe, and in good hands. You guys will be there every day ( maybe not but still say it 
) advocating for him and will do the same for brother. Mom can relax finally, enjoy some down time without worries.
When I visited my Dad in the nursing home Mom always wanted to take meals with him in the dining room. Not many families did that but I don’t blame them. The food was fine and the tables had centerpieces and real plates and cutlery not plastic, but it was eye opening to witness nursing home residents semi alert getting wheeled in to eat. Kind of sad but I always wondered who they used to be, discovered some had led very interesting lives.
I do not have a phone type or camera that takes pictures so I’m out some money.
I ordered two Christmas ornaments from World Market and both arrived broken. This is unusual because Ive not had problems with them before. But the guy on the phone said they needed email pictures as proof, and since I can’t do that I’m out the purchase price and the delivery fee.
I’m upset because I really wanted to add them to my tree before I take it down. All my ornaments are dachshunds , it’s a themed tree.
Is it possible your thermostat is screwed up? That could be a question for the furnace folk.
I was just thinking - we’re really all she’s got. For 70+ years, FIL was her rock. He made, or at least had input, in all decisions. She leaned on him and relied on him and now she’s truly alone. No friend network here, no other relatives, no church home - just us. That’s a huge burden on both sides. No wonder she’s overwhelmed, and FCD doesn’t always remember that she’s old and confused and frightened. He wants to help, wants to know what she wants, but she doesn’t always know what she wants.
As we were leaving there today, he asked me what to do, so I told him, and that’s what we did. Not a biggie, but one less decision on him. Then I called and canceled the dental appointment for his dad this week - another thing we don’t have to deal with.
We’re in a really strange place, especially emotionally. I think we’re all thinking that the best thing would be for him to die, but just thinking that or (heaven forbid) saying that carries its own burden of guilt. So instead we’re trapped in this horrible place between life and death and there’s nothing we can do but deal and make the best choices we can, knowing we’ll continue to second-guess ourselves. Dementia sucks.
cupcakes, any friends with cameras or iPads or any kind of tablet that could take pix for you?
Howdy Y’all! We have slothed, napped, slothed some more, day drank, and then slothed some more. I love me days like this! MOOOOOOM and FCD need a day or sixteen like that. In a bit I shall stick the boxed lasagna (don’t judge!) in the oven and make the sallit and cheesey garlic bread for sup. All this sloth can really work up an appetite!
MOOOOOOM hopefully the recommendation will be some type of facility hospice care. Sis and I did home hospice care for mom, but she was totally immobile and in the bed durin’ that time. Sounds like FiL would need more intense care than that. I know the MIL is scared and feels so helpless. Maybe she will see the light.
CupCakes I second the idea of someone with a camera on their phone takin’ a pic for you to email.
sari glad the furnace is workin’ again. Also glad for the lack of dawg park drama. Hope things settle down for you soonest.
FlyBoy nice haul! Yay for fixed roof.
MetalMouse howdy! Enjoy the doggies.
Cookie hope the back and knees are feelin’ better soonest.
Oopsie glad you had a good visit with dad and bro. Yay for the fix so Bailey can get on the bed! Enjoy slothage.
rocker hope white cat is doin’ OK and has decided to forgive you.
That absolutist rigidity is often the first sign.Holding onto what you used to know you thought you knew for dear life. FIL’s was just more florid and obscured it. I’d be encouraging FCD to make a non-urgent neurology assessment appt for her too, once FIL is settled in a facility and BIL is squared away. Or else FCD is going to be run into the ground by sequential crisis modes one after another.
Hard hearted home health (and facility agency) nurse here, with decades of experience. There is no ‘magic’ pill to just find the right name and dosage of. There just isn’t. He’s likelier to end up in chemical restraints at home than in a facility that has to meet lots and lots of state and federal oversight.
I agree, dementia sucks big time. Both of my cherished, beloved in-laws died of Parkinson’s dementia. It was cruel from every direction and scarred all of us who loved them, just like your family. First the person dies, but heartbreakingly before the body does.
Take them to a Staples or a FedEx Kinkos copy shop place, lay them on the copier, make a copy. The copy shop has ways to send those as scans to email addresses you provide.
I’d call your public library too and ask if they have a way for you to take the needed pictures and help in emailing them. Libraries are amazing nowadays in what they consider their purview-it’s all about accessing information and technology and this would fit.
The ornaments sound adorable and I’m sorry you aren’t getting to enjoy them on your dachshund themed tree, which itself sounds adorable.
I’m sorry about the ornaments. These ^ are good ideas.
We have a wind advisory, with rain. I looked out to see the fence between our yard and the neighbors swaying. I may need to go out and see if I can rig something up or we’ll have dogs and deer coming through, plus if it falls it will squash the shrub starts I put in this year. Don’t want to run a drill in sideways rain, nope.
I thought of this while showering. Public librarians are the best. Take the busticated ornaments to the library and ask whoever is at the desk to take a picture and send it to your email. Don’t call ahead. Just show up. I doubt they will charge you anything and they will use their own phone. They will do this out of the goodness of their librarian hearts.
That is certainly my experience with my librarians, right up there with nurses and teachers~a special breed.
Welcome aboard icy!
JtC, since most of the littles in my life have gotten big, I tend to bring books to neighbor kids. It tickles me to see them bury their little noses in them.
dicey, the marmalade likely has enough acid and sugar in it to kill you with botulism. 
{{{FairyChats}}}
Thirding (fourthing) the friend with a camera baker. They may not be replaced in time to go on the tree this year, but likely will next year.
Irked, came home, walked Nelson and Charlie, et and got a couple of cards ready to go to irk tomorrow and two to go in the mail.
For you critter folks, has your dog or cat ever temporarily had breath that would melt paint? Yesterday, I got a poo whiff and began searching. There was nothing on the bottoms of my shoes on the shoe rack, nothing on the entryway throw rug, but when Nelson got in my lap for cuddle, as soon as he opened his mouth, that’s where it was coming from. 
He hadn’t eaten or drank anything unusual (that I know of ) and a dental stick seemed to fix things. Is this normal? I’ve never had that happen with other critters unless they had gotten into something stinky.
Stay safe and healthy y’all!
Howdy, y’all, I’m back in NY after a 9 hour drive, granted with a 45 minute stop off at LL Bean to try to do an exchange on the way. Exchange was unsuccessful, they’re gonna ship me the thing.
You’ve been busy!
FCM So sorry for what you all are going through. I wish I had a magic wand to make it all better.
lily Nope, no power tools in the rain. Even if it means the demise of the new shrubbery. Ni! The knights who say Ni may demand a new shrubbery in the spring.
CupCake Agree with going to the “lie-berry” to get pics.
Yay to Bailey for figuring out the ottoman empire in order to reclaim possession of the bed.
flyboy Nice haul on the gift!
Welcome icy
cookie Hoping the back feels better soonest. For me, lying down on my back on the floor helps. For some reason a hard surface helps stretch things out.
Eta Red Those little rascals are quick, you never know what they might have glomped down when you looked away for a second. So yes, I have experienced “poo-breath.”
Ok, now I’s tahred. Long drive after a loooong weekend with fambly. Must to decompress with a nice beverage (or 2) and some stupid TV.
Up and watching hockey. I made a Manhattan, without ripping the cork on the rye in half. I don’t have a spare cork that fits the bourbon, so it’s a stubby till I can chug the fifth.
{ dogbutler pulls up fainting couch, pearls, and Manhattan }
{{{{FairyChats}}}}
As an ex-library worker, I approve of this message.
I really enjoyed watching all of my BFF’s grands drop their toys and scamper off to cuddle up on Grandma’s big bed to read their new books.
I bought them new books because uncut pages are such a joy, but the ones I leave everywhere (Footeworks got some today) I get from the big thrift store in town. Their childrens’ books are a dime each and sometimes they have 2 dollar bag sales. I rarely see books with torn pages or writing, the volunteers have said that they only put out the nice ones because poor kids deserve nice books too. (I understand the unsellable books go to the Lion’s club who sends them to the pulp mill up north, so they don’t end up in a landfill somewhere.)
Today was an errand day. We started by going to Prescott and picking up my ring. I’m very sorry the jeweler is going retiring, that was shop was a local landmark and they do quality work.
We went to Footeworks to get the title changed on Hub’s bike, for some reason the dealer couldn’t have it put in both of our names with just the OR part, so we got that taken care of today. When something happens to one of us, we want the other one to have easy access to everything…no thinking involved.
I saw a grade schooler sitting in the waiting area so went back out to the car and grabbed some books out of book box in the trunk. The little boy was happy to get a book, the mom seemed happy and our worker said nice things so that was good.
After that, we went to the hardware store because I was totally out of birdseed and our Chewy order wasn’t coming until next week. This was a mistake because of course I spent extra money on a bag of shelled peanut pieces for the Jays. I looked at the sunflower seeds and put them right back because they have doubled since that stoopid war started. I’ll probably change my mind soon, all of the birds like sunflower seeds…
I waited in the car while Hubs went into the credit union to deposit our CD money, and watched a half dressed young lady practically shove another couple and Hubs out of her way to run into the bank and stand in line. We both laughed at her.
We ended our day with a late Chinese lunch and got home in time to wake the cats up from their afternoon nap. They were not impressed.
GG did show me that now that he knows that there is a secret tunnel between the top of the bed world and the under the bed world. I left the bed pulled out a little and he has been dropping his fuzzy balls (snerk) down so he can follow them down head first (He’s long enough that he can touch the floor with his front feets while his back hips, legs and tail are on top of the bed) and then squeeze his way back up to the top of the bed in fuzzy ball triumph.
Me agrees. Shrubs can be replaced, you can’t.
Sends more sympathy to the ChatFamily. I know that everyone is doing the best they can, but this is all new and horrible for everyone.
Howdy Y’all! We supped and cleanded up the kitchen. That counts as effort for the day, so it has not been total sloth. Hey, you justify your way and I’ll justify mine.
JtC quite the day of errands today! I think we’ll have one of those days tomorrow. Some stuff needs to get done, so might as well suck it up and do it all at once, I reckon. Of course, that means on Thursday we can loll about and sloth as we rest on our laurels after a day of adultin’.
ETA: Yay for GG and his new found magic feat!
well ya wouldn’t make the place any worse that’s for sure