Leopard:spots.
Zebra:stripes.
Snake:skin.
Crock:tears.
etc…
The OP is temporarily overcome by ‘religious’ experience. This too shall pass.
I’m with the others who will need a lot more than “sorry, I’ve changed” to think differently of you. I will try to read your new posts without blindly filtering everything through your past behavior, but you have a pretty big hill to climb to change my mind. Maybe you can start by explaining what you mean by “everything I have ever said is true.” I’ll bring up examples not to attack you all over again, but to understand if that was a poorly-phrased statement on your part.
So with your infamous story of tricking a girl into making out with you by pretending to be someone else, are you saying that the story was true, or are you also saying that your assertion that it was not sexual assault, it was fun and games, and the girl was also responsible - all those things are true?
Is it true that the description of women as “walking vaginas with price tags…certainly applies to some women?”
Is it true that it’s difficult to find a woman “that isn’t a gold digger/liar/fornicator/debtor or other type of manipulative deviant because there aren’t that many around?”
Like I said, I don’t want to attack you all over. But maybe you can understand why “everything I said is true” is raising some concerns.
Hey, it can happen.
To the OP, as my therapist used to say to me, it’s a process. Progress comes in teeny tiny increments and maybe once in a while a great leap forward. I think it may be a little soon for you to say that you “have certainly” changed. I have steered clear of your posts for a while but I may read them with new interest now.
I see one poster saying that, plus a second expressing an overall positive view of him. So: two (presumably male) posters. Maybe use a slightly narrower brush next time.
And I remember exactly how horrible many of his previous posts were. That he is ostensibly trying to be better is a good thing that should be encouraged, even if nothing of the past is excused, forgiven or forgotten.
I’ve read few of the threads that the op has been infamous in and there are very few names I pay much attention to insofar as having a strong sense of their ourve. I know Shagnasty has been an ass and in particular a sexist one but mostly to the degree that I haven’t bothered to read what he’s written too much. Honestly mostly because he’s been Pitted about it. Most of my experience with him that I actually recall myself has been benign, like in GQ threads. His hurtful behaviors are not open sores to me and I can understand others who have not been the target not even registering them at all if they’ve even been in those threads to any degree.
Not everyone is in the same threads as you are.
I applaud your recognition that there are different ways to behave, and different ways to think, and your recognition that your behavior in the past does not meet the standard you have set for yourself now.
Just be aware that any changes will take mighty discipline over the long haul. We humans have a tendency to “regression to the mean”. So, as you walk in these new shoes, you may find yourself drifting - recognize that this is normal, and don’t beat yourself up too hard about lapses. But do take these moments as opportunities for reflection and continued diligence.
“Regression to the mean” happens when you vow to change your behavior, but your underlying opinions remain unchanged.
There’s a big difference between “I will no longer post what I think about women” and “I no longer think those horrible things about women.” Many of us are wondering which it is in this case, and that can’t be determined from what is frankly a pretty empty apology.
Just as thinking influences behavior, there is a school of thought that says behavior influences thinking. In addition, encouragement is a strong motivator!
I was trying to explain to you that what InsomniaMama said, and what you interpreted her as having said, were two different things.
Damned if I know what that has to do with who’s been in what threads.
ETA for Gyrate: the accuracy of the distinction doesn’t stand or fall on the accuracy of the point InsomniaMama was making.
Attention seeker looking for attention, news at 11.
Does the OP really now think any differently about women? No, I don’t believe that he does.
I know that if my views changed that my behaviour would naturally change in line with that. But it would just happen, I’d stop those old behaviours because I didn’t believe them anymore, there would be no announcement, no need for any virtue signalling. Maybe thats just me though.
Thanks?
But I understood what she said. No translation by you needed. Have a nice day.
Show. Don’t tell.
What are we encouraging? What is the OP apologizing for? Taken at face value, he’s apologizing only for saying those things, not for believing them.
In fact, he isn’t even apologizing. The words “I’m sorry” appear nowhere in his post. There is no acknowledgement of how he might have hurt people, or the damage his views inflict on others. No, he’s just embarrassed that someone might find out. He regrets “what I wrote years ago” - technically correct, but it attempts to hide that it was only 2 years ago. And even then, he makes sure to let everyone know “there were reasons for it” and deflect responsibility.
The more I think about what he actually wrote, the more I agree with bucketybuck. You “want to give a formal apology?” Then do it, because you haven’t yet. So far, everything you’ve written is “me, me, me.”
Thanks for the laugh, Shaggy. I needed it on a Friday afternoon.
We can always count on you for some crazy BS story. You proclaiming that you are absolutely and positively telling the truth is the perpetual icing on the cake.
Were I engaged, I’d want to know if my fiancé had a history of making such comments and regretted the wording, but not the thoughts and beliefs. There’s such a thing as a sin of omission, and this is a pretty egregious example.
Sure, Shaggy, share your password for the SDMB and let her read your history
Yup. If he came in the house from outside dripping wet, he’d still claim it’s sunny outside.
My bet? Somehow the conversation came up with his fiancée and he admitted he had said some pretty horrible this. She wants him to admit error, but I it’s impossible for him.
Yup.
That said, I wish you the best of luck in this journey, and congratulate you on your current relationship.
I’ve been around the Dope a long time, but I must admit Shagnasty has never really come up on my radar. Perhaps our interests in threads are not the same.
It seems like a lot of folks are coming down hard on him. Without checking out all his posting history, I can still assume he in some way has been a jerk.
But if he really is repentant, why not just say, “okay, I see you are apologetic, hmmmm…” and sit back to wait? Acting hardcore yourselves will not encourage anyone to stay on the straight and narrow. If he really means it that could be discouraging.
Why not just accept the apology and wait? People can really change.
Despite the thread title, there was no apology, only expressions of regrets for being so nasty about telling the “truth”, seemingly out of fear that his new lady love will discover that about him and terminate the relationship.
Given the level of vitriol and other ugliness he’s aimed at others here, and spread around this joint over so many years, it’ll take more than that to convince me and many others.
You of course are free to do what you want.