I should have specified men who are virgins by choice. I am always forced to wonder about men who choose to be virgins if they don’t have to be.
I don’t know … we all know that generalizations are bad, but there’s something to be said for learning to avoid situations that never seem to work out for you. Like my current reluctance to be anyone’s first girlfriend after his divorce: I have nothing against any specific guy who has been through hell and is finally ready to try again, but I’ve been the “test” girlfriend so many times that for now, at least, I’m tired of it. Maybe it was just bad luck, but there’s only so many times I can say to myself “maybe this time it will be different” – especially when the rebound syndrome is well-known.
Actually, those are what I mean: of course it’s true that an experienced person might suck in bed or get too emotionally attached, but I think the probability of that happening is higher for a virgin. (And let me specify right now that I’m not talking about college-age virgins, or anyone who is deliberately a virgin. I’m thinking about a guy in his late 20s+ who claims he doesn’t want to be a virgin, but still is.) I’ve never had any desire to be just the teacher when it comes to sex: I like to combine my experience (teaching) with the guy’s experience (learning) and then figure out some new stuff together (exploring), but if the guy’s a virgin it’s pretty much all teaching and it takes much longer to get to the exploring. Maybe I’m just impatient. 
Thanks! I saw that thread when it first popped up, but decided to skip it because I don’t think there’s any particular age when virginity becomes “weird.” In fact, I don’t think it’s ever “weird”: it’s just evidence of underlying conditions that make me think we’re not compatible. It’s not an old thread, though, so I wonder why Anaamika started this one instead of just posting her self-chastisement in that one. Anyway, it’s at 3 pages, so I’ll have to give it a closer look when I have the time to read through it.
Ignorant and offensive? Care to back those accusations up with something beyond your self-righteousness? :rolleyes:
How doesn’t being a virgin say something about the virgin’s personality? Not being a virgin also says something about a person’s personality. Being on this message board says something about a person’s personality. Exactly what it says will vary person to person, of course, but I’m amazed at your insistence on treating virginity as though it’s just a trait like eye color. (For the record, this kind of naïveté is something I often encounter among “older” virgins, and is one of the things I don’t like.)
Funny, I don’t wonder much at all about men who choose to remain virgins; it’s the ones who claim they wish they weren’t who make my spidey sense tingle (because it tells me that we have very different attitudes about sex).
Sorry, dear, for some reason I thought it was way older then it actually was. 
When I put that in my reply to Harimad-sol I was just thinking out loud, but reading it again it smacks a little of passive-aggressiveness . . . which I can’t stand. Sorry for not simply asking you directly. :smack:
I seem to be having a bad SDMB week – and not just in this thread. This happened a couple of months ago, too, where I went through a spell of just not being able to communicate effectively. Sigh. I’ll keep replying to questions about stuff I’ve already written, but I think I’ll refrain from adding any completely new thoughts for a little while. Don’t all cheer at once, it’s not nice!
Well, it looked like it was just the two of us talking about it in the middle of what had become “The Bricker Spanking Thread,” but since it seems there’s more life in the topic, I guess I’ll come back to it.
What on Earth was hypocritical about that? I mean, is it any more hypocrticial than:
'Cause that struck me as, at the very least, massively self-contradictory, if not openly hypocritical.
Yeah, but unlike smoking or religion, the fact that a virgin wants to date at all is generally a pretty big indicator that they don’t want to be a virgin any more, and are trying to do something about it.
And yes, I can, and do, deny that being a virgin says anything about a person’s personality.
You might want to think about why that is…
Well, I won’t get into “ignorant,” but I was offended by it. I don’t know how to “back it up,” it was just my reaction to it.
What, precisely, does virginity say about a person’s personality? I was a virgin until I was 28. What was my personality like two years ago? What’s my personality like now, when I’m getting laid about once a week? Be specific, please. What character traits did my lack of sexual experience evince?
So… it says “something” about a person’s personality… but what it says is different for each person. Sounds a lot to me like it doesn’t actually say anything about a person’s personality.
Uh huh. But you’d never judge anyone because of their virginity.
“In fact, here’s the detailed list of what I have and have not done.”
Kinda beats the usual boring BS small talk though!
If there’s enough interest, maybe “The **Bricker ** Spanking Thread” should be created. :eek: 
Do we all get to spank Bricker then?
While I’m often a fan of reciprocity, there are areas in which it just doesn’t fly. This is one. Bricker spanks. Bricker does not get spanked.
Eh, I won’t believe you until I’ve spoken to Mrs. Bricker.
If Bricker lets her take the ball gag out.
Miller, how old were you when you came out?
I ask because I have dated several virgin males who later turned out queer (I’m just lucky, I guess). I would say that if I met a man now who was still a virgin, that would be my second guess as to the reason (after religion).
Misnomer, I’m going to risk my popularity, such as it is, to say that I understand what you are saying. Virginity may indicate that the person puts more emotional significance on the sex-act than I want to be responsible for, or it may indicate some hang-up. Or it could be nothing, just a combination of circumstance and personality. Either way, sex is an essential part of my relationships, and while I wouldn’t turn a guy down flat for being a virgin, it certainly wouldn’t be a turn-on either.
And where does the line start for the spankings? Is there a dress code?
And the only reason you went down that road the one time is because he said “C’mon babe, take a walk on the Mild Side”, right?
Doot, da-doot, da-doot, doot da-doo …
Will that still be true if Mrs. Bricker finds out you’ve got several women flirting with you here?
Why, the line starts right here, little girl. And as for the dress code … the less said the better … (Insert Evil Leer Smiley)
Mrs. Bricker will not agree.
That’s what makes Mrs. Bricker lots of fun, and eternally fascinating.
:: sighs, and starts cleaning up water off the monitor ::
You were judging QuickSilver for judging Anaamika while implying that he had every right to judge Anaamika by saying that you had every right to judge him. Seemed pretty “do as I say, not as I do” to me … if I misinterpreted, my bad.
Are you saying that it’s impossible to acknowledge incompatibility without simultaneously judging someone? I don’t care whether a guy is 43 and still a virgin, I just don’t want to date him because the fact that he is still a virgin at that age means that our attitudes about sex are incompatible. Just like I don’t care whether someone gets high every weekend, but I don’t want to date him because the fact that he gets high every weekend means that our attitudes about drug use are incompatible. I don’t judge anyone.
I do not think that word means what you think it means.
And the fact that they’re still trying at age 30 indicates deeper issues that I generally want no part of.
I know why that is, sparky: it’s because we happen to disagree. I also agree with and am supported by Dopers who I generally admire and usually agree with . . . do I need to think about why that is, too? :rolleyes:
Holy crap, what is your problem? “It says something different about each person” does NOT equal “it says nothing.” What does it say about the virgin’s personality? Well, depending on the person it could say any number of things:[ul][li]they are very religious, or otherwise don’t believe in sex outside of marriage[/li][li]they have low self-esteem[/li][li]they are very picky[/li][li]they don’t believe in sex without love (IOW, no one-night stands)[/li][li]they only recently came to terms with their sexuality[/li][li]they’re extremely shy[/li][li]etc.[/ul][/li]And before you and Soapbox Monkey just die of offense and self-righteousness, let me state for the record that there is absolutely nothing “wrong” with any of the traits on this list.
Boy, you’re just determined to read only what you want to read. I encounter a lot of a certain kind of naïveté among older virgins. I don’t like that kind of naïveté, so it’s one reason I prefer not to date older virgins. How does that equate to judging anyone because of their virginity?
Now that you’ve replied to statements I made to everyone else, care to reply to the questions that I directed at you? How does not wanting to date a virgin make someone shallow? Why is it so wrong to not want to date a virgin?
The recommended dress is this.
I can’t wait to see Bricker in one.
SDMB
BDSM
Coinky-dink?
Yeah, but it’s still fun. 