My wife "jokes" that she has a penis

[grude]

In this thread JC claims to have fingered his wife, yet in other threads he claims they regularly have sex(using a condom).

Hmmm.

[Siam_Sam]

@Count_Blucher

There are dozens of snappy answers ranging from silly to truly hurtful and cutting, but maybe its a snappy answer that’s getting you into this mess. A lot depends on how she says it. Is it said as a light joke?
Is it pantomimed with a playful smile? Is she trying to subtly seduce you into saying, [Crocodile Dundee] “No, that’s not a penis. Now this… Zip This is a Penis…!”[/Crocodile Dundee]

Is she saying it as a put upon complaint, the way some ignorant drunken longshoreman might say the C-word? Is this her new witty insult to you because you forgot to take out the trash? Is she just randomly muttering this between drooling?

There’s a lot of context missing…

Maybe she’s just whipping it out.

[The_Second_Stone]

I think she’s calling you a dick.

[Ambivalid]

@grude

In this thread JC claims to have fingered his wife, yet in other threads he claims they regularly have sex(using a condom).

Hmmm.

Um, yeah? So??

[eschereal]

Kind of a ballsy thing to say …

[Drunky_Smurf]

@JohnClay

No BTW in the past before we had sex I fingered her a few times.

Super Awesome! Thanks for sharing.

[Dragwyr]

Here’s how I would respond to this:

Wife: “Honey, you know I have a penis, right?”

Me: “Sure baby. It’s attached to my body, but it is all yours!”

That should get a smile out of her, and perhaps get her to stop making that sort of comment.

[Regallag_The_Axe]

Next time get all excited and say, “Awesome, we gotta compare sizes! I bet you all my action figures that I’m bigger, where’s the ruler?”

[Asympotically_fat]

If you don’t like your wife saying this, you need to tell him your feelings.

[TBG]

@JohnClay

Well sometimes she goes on to say “I was born with a penis”.

I think many of the responses indicate people have skimmed past this post so I’m quoting it.
Anyway you should be like Moe the bartender and be all “and penis is Russian for?” replacing Russian with whatever would be appropriate given your wife’s ethnicity.

[Count_Blucher]

@don_t_ask

So you are surmising that he is married to the 50 Foot Woman, perhaps?

Wow she may have a 5 or 6 foot penis.

Or be one. The only thing we’d know for sure is that if one of these is hanging wet in the shower, she’s probably well-groomed.

[Mighty_Girl]

@Asympotically_fat

If you don’t like your wife saying this, you need to tell him your feelings.

I see what you did there.

[Smeghead]

She does. It’s mine.

[LouLou7]

@JohnClay

No I haven’t checked lately but she didn’t have anything when I used to finger her… not even a largish clit/labia.

Yanno, JohnClay, just because you two crazy kids got married doesn’t mean you had to stop having sex…

[Ludovic]

I just learned that fingering does not always refer to orifice insertation, but also for a variety of light sexual contact, so there is that.

[JohnClay]

@grude

In this thread JC claims to have fingered his wife, yet in other threads he claims they regularly have sex(using a condom).

Hmmm.

I used to finger my wife before she was my wife. Now we only have regular sex.

[chacoguy]

@JohnClay

I used to finger my wife before she was my wife. Now we only have regular sex.

Thanks ever so much for sharing. I, for one, feel spiritually enriched.

[Ambivalid]

@JohnClay

I used to finger my wife before she was my wife. Now we only have regular sex.

I didn’t realize using your hands was some sort of “freaky shit”. You animal you.

[Ranger_Jeff]

I guess the first question to be asked and answered is “Is Mrs Clay joking about having a penis or not?”.

[psychobunny]

Call me crazy, but I believe that this is something that every couple should discuss before marriage. Really, there are only a few questions that really whould be asked:

Do you plan on wanting children in the future?
Are you a “spender” or a “saver”?
Do you now have or have you ever had a penis?

All the rest is minor.