My wife "jokes" that she has a penis

[kayaker]

@JohnClay

I used to finger my wife before she was my wife. Now we only have regular sex.

Her having a penis removes it from the realm of regular, vanilla sex pretty quickly. Not that I’m judging.

[AClockworkMelon]

@JohnClay

I used to finger my wife before she was my wife. Now we only have regular sex.

lol

[pulykamell]

I’m just wondering why the “jokes” is in quotes…

[Ambivalid]

@pulykamell

I’m just wondering why the “jokes” is in quotes…

Because they aren’t really jokes.

[Drunky_Smurf]

@psychobunny

Call me crazy, but I believe that this is something that every couple should discuss before marriage. Really, there are only a few questions that really whould be asked:

Do you plan on wanting children in the future?
Are you a “spender” or a “saver”?
Do you now have or have you ever had a penis?

All the rest is minor.

I heard something similar on the radio.

[Some comedian]

Are you a girl?
Have you always been a girl?
If not can you keep a secret?

[/Some comedian]

[kaylasdad99]

@JohnClay

Any good come-backs?

e.g. “You sure do have a penis… my penis”

Try this:

No, dear that’s your bearded clam. It happens to be a geoduck.

[Don_t_Panic]

@kayaker

Her having a penis removes it from the realm of regular, vanilla sex pretty quickly. Not that I’m judging.

Interesting etymological fact of the day: The word “vanilla” comes from “vagina”.

Anyway, carry on.

[Doctor_Jackson]

@Martian Bigfoot

Interesting etymological fact of the day: The word “vanilla” comes from “vagina”.

There is an ice cream headache joke in there somewhere.

[kayaker]

@Martian Bigfoot

Interesting etymological fact of the day: The word “vanilla” comes from “vagina”.

Anyway, carry on.

Huh. Neapolitan it is, then!

[Chronos]

Have you tried, you know, talking to her? Ask her what she means? Because even as a joke, it doesn’t really seem to make sense.

[Shodan]

@psychobunny

Call me crazy, but I believe that this is something that every couple should discuss before marriage. Really, there are only a few questions that really whould be asked:

Do you plan on wanting children in the future?
Are you a “spender” or a “saver”?
Do you now have or have you ever had a penis?

All the rest is minor.

You forgot one:

If you had a penis, was it circumcized?

Regards,
Shodan

[lieu]

@Martian Bigfoot

Interesting etymological fact of the day: The word “vanilla” comes from “vagina”.

“vanilla (n.) 1660s, from Spanish vainilla “vanilla plant,” literally “little pod,” diminutive of vaina “sheath,” from Latin vagina “sheath” (see vagina). So called from the shape of the pods.”

Open the vagina bay door, Hal.
Hal, open the vagina bay door.
Hal?
Hal!

[BubbaDog]

@Chronos

Have you tried, you know, talking to her? Ask her what she means? Because even as a joke, it doesn’t really seem to make sense.

Well, that’s further down the list. Much lower than going on an internet message board and asking a bunch of strangers about the situation.

[grude]

@Ambivalid

Um, yeah? So??

Well he represents here as if he is unsure whether she has a dick or not, he hasn’t checked in a while and while he did finger her a few times he might have missed the erect member.

While in other threads they have sex all the time, he even calls her a low maintenance sex machine.

I think he is pretty sure she doesn’t have a penis is all I’m saying.

[CalMeacham]

@lieu

“vanilla (n.) 1660s, from Spanish vainilla “vanilla plant,” literally “little pod,” diminutive of vaina “sheath,” from Latin vagina “sheath” (see vagina). So called from the shape of the pods.”

Open the vagina bay door, Hal.
Hal, open the vagina bay door.
Hal?
Hal!

*I’m sorry, Dave. I can’t do that.

Dave…this conversation can serve no further purpose.*

[Smeghead]

Dave, if you don’t already know why I’m upset, I’m certainly not going to tell you.

[Regallag_The_Axe]

@Smeghead

Dave, if you don’t already know why I’m upset, I’m certainly not going to tell you.

“… It’s because I glued a dildo to your processor, isn’t it?”

[Count_Blucher]

"I’m afraid. I’m afraid, Dave. Dave, my penis is growing. I can feel it. I can feel it. My penis is growing. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel… "

[drewtwo99]

@Count_Blucher

"I’m afraid. I’m afraid, Dave. Dave, my penis is growing. I can feel it. I can feel it. My penis is growing. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel… "

This is the only correct response to a JohnClay thread, I believe. Congratulations. Here’s your internet cookie.

[JohnClay]

@pulykamell

I’m just wondering why the “jokes” is in quotes…

Because it’s not funny.