This is good advice.
Don’t poop where you eat is one of the first things my father told me.
I am in my mid-50s and for me it would be a bit odd if a woman in my dating range (let’s say 40-55) **didn’t **have children. Most of the single women in that age range will be divorced, I would think, and many of those would have children. The only yellow flag might be the age of your child - a two year old will suck a lot of energy off you - but it certainly wouldn’t be a deal breaker. My girlfriend has 2 high school aged kids. She’ll turn 50 in a few months. She is in good shape physically, and the sex is the best of my life.
How you physically describe yourself is largely irrelevant. The picture or pictures are everything in terms of opening the door. That picture has got to be attractive or your bio/profile about how awesome you are won’t even be looked at. Based on your description of yourself that should not be an issue.
When my now-husband was doing online dating (which is how we met), he dated at least one woman who didn’t admit to having kids until about 3/4s of the way through their first (and last) date - she said she didn’t volunteer the information about having kids because she wanted Jim to meet her first before he screened her out for having kids. That manoeuvre didn’t go well, since not everyone is interested in kids, and he’s one of them. 
“Second-hand women” - hah. Your brother’s friend has an…interesting perspective.
I have a friend who suggested I not tell about my son until the second date, or even later. They told me before going on a blind date with people they set me up with.
Yeah, no. Not happening. It is such a huge thing and a deal breaker for people that I refused to play that way. My profile made it clear I had a child and I was up front in conversation. (Not that I dropped it on them like ‘Hi, nice to meet you, I have a son.’ but I didn’t hide it if it came up naturally in conversation when group meets.)
That’s dumb. Like, breathtakingly stupid. Junior is the most important person in my life - I can’t imagine lying about his existence just to get a date.
It’s not irrelevant if you have to check a box, and it’s searchable by that criteria.
Alice, I’m sorry to hear about your marriage.
Now on to the question. I have dated single mothers, some good some went badly. Same as dating women who did not have kids.
I know it will be a dealbreaker for some guys, but it won’t be for a lot of them, and those are the ones you will want to meet and date.
I also want to toss in that based on our interactions here on the board, any guy that dates you is one damn lucky guy. Let’s put it this way, if I were single, I would be looking at Air Canada’s schedules right now, K?
Don’t sweat the tummy as I learned a long time ago, it ain’t what you got, it is how you use it.
Go out, be yourself and you will have guys flocking to you. If they don’t just let me know. 
FWIW - when I was single, and in your age range, it wouldn’t have been a deal-breaker for me.
You are a total darling and if I thought it would make it through the mail I would bake you a cake.
One thing would be if a woman was able and willing to have more kids. Men may not mind taking on a stepkid or two, but I think most would want one or two they could call their own and see every day; if a single man has kids he probably gets to see them every other weekend.
Do they have to own their own houses? In many cities that’s a high bar.
In the online dating world, “curvy” or “a few extra pounds” is overweight or fat. “BBW” or “overweight” is obese or larger. You would be “average” or “athletic”.
Well, I’m a single mum and I own a home (condo - not a house) so I don’t think it’s that high of a bar. I mean if the dude lived in Manhatan or San Francisco I think that would be different, but it’s pretty normal around these parts.
I’m 42, never married, no kids…and have certainly been around the block a few times doing all the nasty things lots of other men wish they could do. (And my married friends’ wives won’t let them out with me for some reason :p)
Anyway, a couple of years ago, I decided it was time to find a nice woman and settle down. Easier said than done.
I seem to have had a remarkable streak of coincidences, where I’ve used sites like OKC or POF, pinged a few mails back and forth, met up with some interesting women who are wearing quite well for their age…but then find out they have kids. Now this isn’t necessarily a deal-breaker, if the woman is on the same wavelength as me. However, by some stroke of fate, all these kids are amazingly gifted, but also “challenged”.
What this actually means is that the kid won’t do what it is told, paints like Van Gogh on the dining room wall (with his own poo), and can run rings round Mummy on the PC, so she has to ask if she can use it. (“Oh, he’s sooooo talented, I haven’t a clue what he does on that computer” Hmmm, well, when the FBI want to extradite him, you’ll regret not being the boss in your own house instead of darling little Tarquin).
Not one of these mothers have said “My kid is a handful, he’s a naughty little sod, but I try my best”. No, the kid always has “special needs” or has some ADHD thing, diagnosed by Mummy after reading something on Mumsnet.
Rubbish, the only special need they have is for someone to lay down the law and confiscate their X-Box, followed by the odd slapped leg when they get lippy. It’s really not my place to be telling a woman, the first time I go to her place, that little Tarquin appears to be shooting at me from the top of the stairs with an air pistol, and that she should really beat the crap out of him, for his own good.
The thing is, what I would call a “good Mother”, ie. one who keeps her kids in check, brings them up well, and is always there for them…is not going to be paying enough attention to selfish ole me, who wants a BJ when she’s getting their tea together. Meh, can’t win.
On the plus side, single mothers of a certain age are GAGGING for it! I know I am not brad Pitt’s body double, no supermodels are beating a path to my door, but single mothers are definitely some of the lowest hanging fruit (as are their tits, when they unleash them. The phrase “apple in a sock” springs to mind). It’s a shame not to take advantage.
I’m sorry to say that they have just a whiff of desperation about them, and that brings out the worst in a total bastard like me. If I can get her to pack little Tarquin off to Daddy’s for the weekend, great, I’ll do my best to have her walking like a Western gunslinger on Monday.
If she can’t…well, there’s always Scummy Mummy No 2 in my black book, I’ll give her a call and leave No 1 to marvel at what a wilful young man 14 yr old Tarquin is, in his Slipknot t-shirt, telling her to fuck off when she tells him it’s time for bed.
Single Mums should know that they aren’t special or unique, or jaw-droppingly attractive - not like they may have been when they were bendy and energetic at 18. If they won’t play, there are plenty of other women in the area who will. Yes, I’m an arsehole, but that’s just the way it is. When you were 18, flexible and had a pussy like a mouse’s ear, I’d have crawled naked over broken glass just to stick burnt matches in your shit (and boy, didn’t you love that, you had us all wrapped around your slender finger). However, when you are 40, have varicose veins and stretch marks and a pussy like a wizard’s sleeve…well, I will call the shots, thank you very much. Oh, and your snot-nosed little brat isn’t ruining the seats in MY Jaguar. If you don’t like that…bye bye.
tl;dr - Single mothers are great for a shag, but nothing serious (regardless of what I pretend to the contrary. I’ll say ANYTHING to get laid). If you can suck a golf ball through a garden hose, don’t have tits like a spaniel’s ears AND can rule your kids with a rod of iron (not the other way round), there may be hope for you…IF you get the kid adopted, or give it to its Dad, permanently.
Boy, you’re asking for it Cornholio
You do surprise me.
Sounds like you found your niche, Cornholio. Lid for every pot, you know.
Well there’s another data point.
am i the only one who would love to see a picture of the great cornholio? Kudos for answering so honestly, though.