I will never forgive them for this shit.
Add me to the list of people who never had one as a kid and who were disappointed by how bland and dry they are.
Ditto for Eggo waffles.
Hehehe, I’ve watched it 15 or so times in a row, now. I love it, it is 15 seconds of demented commercial poetry, and I’m sad I never saw it before today.
I am a little worried about Hans, though. He’s got some dark circles under his eyes in the last shot. How long has he been up while cramming down Toaster Strudel and breaking down doors in the morning?
I don’t think I mentioned this thread to my husband, but somehow he decided last night to open the box of pop-tarts, as he usually has something home made for breakfast.
Ever so often I consider trying one of the knock-off recipes. Then decide to make banana bread - much easier.
Now I have a hankering for Pop Tarts, something I haven’t felt in years. I have to do shopping tomorrow so I’ll prolly pick up a box. I’ll eat one and then remember why I don’t usually buy them.
It’s kinda like a Big Mac. I know that they are bad but for some reason I have to have one on an annual basis. It’s sorta like a patriotic American duty to take a hit for the mother country 
Your post reminded me of a bumper sticker I used to encounter in the Boston area decades ago, that said “[Band name] - We make music so you don’t have to.”
You have researched recipes using Pop-tarts, so now I don’t have to. I am duly grateful.
Another shopping list addition.
Brown sugar & cinnamon, unfrosted (if you can find them), toasted, and then buttered. Heaven on a plate.
For a brief period of time, when I was a kid, our family was a test family for various products. They would come with no product labels or identification on them. We tested two items, one of which became Pop Tarts. We didn’t like them, but obviously other people did.
The other product was a powdered drink concoction that later was marketed as “Tang.” We didn’t like that either.
Those were the only products I recall us testing. I haven’t consumed either one in the 60 years since.
When I was younger, I used to buy a jar of Grape flavor Tang and just eat through it (over several days). I guess it was like a freeform pixie stick.
My problem with the Pillsbury is that they have to be stored in the freezer, and at our house our freezer is usually packed full. Whereas Pop-Tarts can be stored anywhere.
I saw the same show as the OP and my boyfriend and I immediately said “we gotta try those Eggo Pop Tarts!” Then I suggested a Pop Tart Taste-Off, which we had previously done with M&Ms. I’ll keep you guys posted.
I love Pop Tarts. My favorite is the Cinnamon Sugar, but I’ll eat any of the frosted ones.
They are SO affordable but SO full of sugar. I walk by the beautiful bright display every time I go shopping and covet them, but I don’t buy them regularly anymore 
I bought 2 8-packs (Cinnamon and Blueberry) while I was on vacation and that’s it.
A Taste-Off might kill me, but you know, science. I’ll take a walk after.
Is there any truth to the legend that Pop-Tarts were invented when a child wanted toast for breakfast but the only things in the house were two sheets of drywall and a thimbleful of jam?
Way back in the day when my mom made pies, she’d use the leftover piecrust dough to make cinnamon rolls. She’d roll out the dough, spread it with softened butter, and generously sprinkle with a cinnamon and sugar mixture. Roll the dough into a snake-like shape, prick it with a fork, and bake it. When done, she’d slice into pieces about 1.5" thick. I’ve never tasted any cinnamon roll as good since.
That was heaven on a plate.
well, you do have to get enough gypsum in your diet somehow
During my first year of college, I subsisted on this giant box of outdated Pop-Tarts and similar. And while the basic flavors are a bit lacking, I did find the fancier flavors to be quite good.
(I often didn’t have time to make it to the cafeteria, and my roommate bought this like two foot wide, one foot deep box for very cheap and gave it to me. I’ve never seen anything like it ever again.)
That’s the part I absolutely hate and why I won’t eat them unless there are absolutely no other options and I must have food for blood sugar’s sake.
As a kid, I kept seeing treats and toys on TV that my parents would never buy. So they became all the more tempting… until I’d wind up at some other kid’s house where his mom had Pop-Tarts and I’d think “But they looked so goooood on television… wait, what if the grown-ups who make these were lying to us?!?”
I was radicalized at an early age.
When I was about 5 or 6 years old, I got my first lesson in how deceptive advertising could be. The TV was inundated with commercials for a breakfast food called “Maypo.” There was even an animated kid who kept yelling “I want my Maypo!!!” so of course, I wanted Maypo too. Reluctantly, my mom bought some and brewed it up for me one morning. I think I took two spoonfuls and said “Yecchh!” and never ate it again.
Well, I’m trash-talking Pop-Tarts, but they are in NO way as bad as Maypo!