Leonard: It’s a bachelor party. There could be strippers. Won’t that make you a little jealous?
Penny: Come on Leonard. It’s you. What’s gonna happen? I mean, even if there was a stripper, all you’d do is avoid eye contact and maybe offer to help her kid with his homework.
I may be a bad waitress but you, your a bad person ~~~ Now…wanna hear the specials
Howard: She was my second cousin.
(squirt) Bad Leonard.
That sucker is well-named.
When was the last time you were at Best Buy and you heard someone say, “Ooh, check out this Blu-Ray player, it must be good, it was built in Russia”?
You still go left!
Two years ago we didn’t even know each other. And now, I’m in your apartment after dark. How much faster can this thing go?
Don’t worry, luckily I had the good sense to drown that kitten in the river
I love strawberry Quik. It’s my favorite pink fluid. Narrowly beating out Pepto-Bismol.
For future reference, if I want to watch Mean Girls, I’ll just stream it on Netflix.
Nothing takes the sting out of a shattered life like a properly seasoned bowl of onion soup.
Dimitri: [To Howard] He calls you Fruit Loops, because of your very gay hair cut?
Howard: No. It’s because I live with my mother and she makes me Fruit Loops.
Dimitri: Go with the gay story. People are more accepting of it.
Leonard: Sheldon, this is not your home!
Sheldon: This isn’t anyone’s ‘home’. This is a swirling vortex of entropy.
** Raj:** Howard and Bernadette, the five of us stand before you as your friends and newly ordained ministers.
Mrs. Wolowitz: LOUDER!
Bernadette: They all got ordained! They’re all marrying us! It’s adorable! You want to hear it, come closer!
You walked in on your father and me, naked. I was swatting his bottom with your new ping-pong paddle. How did that make you feel?
I didn’t dream that?!?
Sheldon & Leonard have just lost Pictionary (in a big way) to Amy and Penny. It’s pretty much all Sheldon’s fault.
Penny: Hey, Sheldon, you’re always full of fun little facts. Where did the expression “Got your ass handed to you” come from?
Sheldon: Don’t know.
Penny: I wonder if it’s from, like, ancient Rome, where they’d actually chop somebody’s ass off and then go “Here.” You know, to appease Loseronius, the god of losers.
Amy: Bernadette, I want to thank you for allowing me to be your maid of honor. I also wanted you to know that I will be happy to do it again if this marriage craps out.
Where are you going Lovey Dovey? Come back ~~~~I already ordered 20lbs of bird seed on Amazon!