Amy: Have I ever told you you’re like a sexy praying mantis?
Sheldon: Every time you drink alcohol.
Sheldon does not HAVE a cousin Leo.
Penny: How did you even get in, you weirdo?
Sheldon: Yeah, really? I’ve seen strange men traipsing in and out of here for years, but when I do it, it’s weird?
Really. You need an inhaler to breath earth air, he can’t eat earth nuts, but I’m the alien.
It’s OK: it’ your Millennium Falcon. You and Chewbacca do whatever you want. Me and Princess Leia here (gestures toward Raj) will find some other way to spend the evening.
While Leonard is not considered a tall fellow in our country, in today’s North Korea, he’s downright average.
Tweepadok.
Raj: Has your assistant said anything about me?
Sheldon: Oh, in fact, she has. Uh, her exact words were, “What is that guy’s problem?”
Raj: I’m in her head. Let the dance begin.
Oh these are cute, of course if I get them I’ll have to rent my womb out to a gay couple
Oh, good, Leonard, you’re here. Science news. This will interest you. And, Penny, feel free to paint your nails.
I don’t want five bucks! I want my dignity!
Oh what’s that, ten bucks?
Oh! Ow! Blueberry in my nose! Blueberry in my nose!
Leonard: You’re going march yourself over there right now and apologize [to Penny]!
Sheldon: Pfffft.
Leonard: What’s funny?
Sheldon: Wasn’t that sarcasm?
Leonard: No!
Sheldon: Oh. Boy, you are all over the place this morning.
Dr. Stephen Hawking: What do Sheldon Cooper and a black hole have in common? They both suck! Neener, neener, neener!
You’re cruisin for beaton Wheaton!
Wil Wheaton: Sheldon, do you really think we’re going to fight?
Sheldon: My fists are not up here because I’m milking a giant, invisible cow.
Sheldon: I think that you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble Telescope does of discovering that at the center of every black hole is a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.
Call me Leonard. Dr. Hofstadter is my father. And my mother. And my sister. And our cat. Although I’m pretty sure that Dr. “Boots” Hofstader’s degree is honorary.
Queen Penelope AFK; wha-aaat?
I’m surprised you struck out with Penny. Apparently she’s a big ol’ 5.
(“Big ol’ 5,” 4, 2, whatever, is part of the vernacular around here. If you are enthusiastic about something-- not just sex-- you say “I’m a big ol’ 5 for that.” Not so enthusiastic? Big ol’ 1.)