jokes are better when you end them with waka waka or choo choo choo!
You may find this hard to believe, but I didn’t have any friends growing up.
I described your love making as aloof yet effective
I wish you wouldn’t have done that! It’s gonna make me a “chick magnet” and I’m busy enough as it is~
A friend would have told me about the elevator.
Penny: Yes, I know men can’t fly.
Sheldon: No, no - let’s assume that they can. Lois Lane is falling, accelerating at an initial rate of 32ft per second, per second. Superman swoops down to save her by reaching out two arms of steel. Ms. Lane, who is now traveling at approximately 120 miles per hour, hits them, and is immediately sliced into three equal pieces.
I don’t think our relationship is a joke. I think a horse goes into a bar. Bartender says, “Why the long face?” That’s a joke. It’s a good one, too, because a horse has a long face.
Leonard: Do you have any ideas?
Sheldon: Yes, but they all involve a Green Lantern and a Power Ring.
Whoa! Somebody finally found second base!
Just look at us. It’s only been three years. Here we are in bed together.
Frankly, if he really loved her, he’d let her hit the pavement. It’d be a more merciful death.
Howard: Grab a napkin, homey, you just got served.
Leonard: That’s fine, you win.
Howard: What’s his problem?
Sheldon: His imaginary girlfriend broke up with him.
Howard: Been there!
On a ship? Aren’t they afraid Hawking will just roll overboard?
Leonard (takes off glasses): You are beautiful, you know that? You pop, sparkle and buzz ee-LEC-tric. I’m gonna pick you up at eight. Show you a night you will never forget.
FBI Agent: Sounds great.
Leonard: Really?
Sheldon: I couldn’t sleep knowing that just outside my bedroom is our living room and just outside our living room is that hallway and immediately adjacent to that hallway is this!
Leonard: Do you realize if Penny wakes up there’s no reasonable explanation to why we are here?
Sheldon: I just gave you a reasonable explanation.
Leonard: No, no. You gave me an explanation. Its reasonableness will be determined by a jury of your peers.
Sheldon: Don’t be silly. I have no peers.
Back to the Future 2 was in the Back to the Future 3-case, and Back to the Future 3 was, get this, in the Back to the Future 2-case.
Raj: Dad, I’m trying to tell you off, and you’re ruining it with your delight and relief!
Raj’s Dad: Sorry. Oh, no, my grown son is going to stop spending all my money. Where did I fail as a father?
One of my all-time favorite BBT bits.
My all-time favorite is the one where Amy pretends to share Sheldon’s pain over not being able to decide what video system to buy. I swear, that is up there with “I thought turkeys could fly!”
Post it!
I described your love making as aloof yet effective
I wish you wouldn’t have done that! It’s gonna make me a “chick magnet” & I’m busy enough as it is~
Penny: You’re an emotionless robot.
Sheldon: Well, I try.