Driving from Wisconsin to Vermont in 1989, I brought along a large can of this as a traveling ration, along with an even bigger can of Chef Boy-ar-dee ravioli and a tin of Star-Kist tuna packed in oil. I also stopped somewhere along the way for a McRib.
By the time I hit the NY Tollway, I badly needed to make a prolonged pit stop! 
And a tin of Underwood’s deviled ham was always in my knapsack when I played Army as a kid. The perfect C-ration!
I’ll eat Vienna sausages right out the can. Armour brand is right out though.
I truly thought the punchline was gonna be:
“… but I forgot a can opener!”
Velveta Cheese. Common, y’all know you love it.
Also, my grocery store stocks a cheese spread that is basically shredded Mexican cheese, diced jalapenos and I guess, mayonnaise. Get some Ruffles (gotta have a sturdy chip) and go at it.
Would probably have been better if I had… 
Bush’s Grillin’ Beans microwaved in a bowl with a spoonful of Publix Southern Style potato salad and a spoonful of coleslaw ladled on top. Very tasty!
I am coming over next time you do this!
My guilty pleasure snacks that I can only eat when home alone is sardines, and herring (creamed, out of the jar I hid in the fridge).
Does peanut butter right out of the jar count?
Shirley, I can’t be the only one.
mmm
You’re not. And don’t call me Shirley! 
(Peanut butter out of the jar and hot bread pudding fresh from the oven, mmmmmmmm! 
)
I prefer pumpkin seeds to actual pumpkin.
Velveta makes the best grilled cheese sandwich. I still love them.
My favorite guilty snack is Sugar Corn Pops cereal straight from the box. I splurge a few times a year. I know it’s nothing but sugar dyed yellow.
My more healthy snack is Pistachios. Unfortunately it’s hard to shell and eat only a handful. I tend to eat too many throughout the day.
Pimento cheese also makes rocking grilled cheese sandwich. Add a couple strips of bacon for extra heart attack potential.
Yep, Velveeta, sliced off the loaf, usually at night. I get called the cheese mouse. 
I worked with a woman who had just debarked from Ireland. Her favorite hobby was making fun what ‘You Americans!’ eat. Everyone decided that was a dare, and we’d try to top each other bringing in some atrocity, like Marshmallow Fluff and banana sandwiches on Wonder Bread.
It was so much fun, all because of her very loud, over-the-top abhorrence of our entire nation’s dietary habits.
Guess what won? …
No, you’re not. I love peanut butter. It’s the food of the Gods.
I rarely eat potato chips but once every year or two I make this chip dip my mom used to make back when I was a kid. It’s sour cream, cream cheese, cottage cheese and onion soup powder. By the time I finish it…I’m good for another year or two. I think maybe she had another ingredient I’m missing. Anchovy paste maybe? There was something she made with anchovy paste maybe not this.
Haven’t had it in years, but might be convinced to try it again, if I had the opportunity:
Cool whip, still frozen, with M&Ms mixed.
Actually what would be really good is Fruity Pebbles as a mix in, instead of M&Ms.
I’d have figured you for a “mustard out of the jar” kind of guy.
Mean Mr. Peanut Butter, that’s a mouthful
(heh)
Eggnog season is best season! I like using eggnog as coffee creamer but my husband thinks I’m crazy