Young lady, that’s the most intelligent question I’ve ever been asked. Oh, I could give you an answer, but the only ones who’d understand it would be you and me… and that includes your teacher. Next question!
Big deal! When I was a pup, we got spanked by Presidents till the cows came home. Grover Cleveland spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions.
Come on, every President gets three secret murders. If you don’t use them by the end of the term, fwwpt they’re gone.
I didn’t think it was possible, but this both sucks and blows.
That team sure sucked last night. They just plain sucked. I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked. Oh, I gotta go, my damn wiener kids are lookin’ at me.
I’ve been asked to tell you that the following show is very scary, with stuff that might give your kids nightmares. You see, there are some crybabies out there, religious types mostly, who might be offended. If you are one of them, I advise you to turn off your set now. Come on I dare you. Chicken!
He’s insulting both of us.
Marge, the doll’s trying to kill me and the toaster’s been laughing at me!
Me fail English? That’s unpossible!
To pronounce my name correctly, I would have to pull out your tongue.
Ooo, floor pie!
My bubble, my rules.
Kiss my asphalt.
Milhouse, we’re living in the age of cooties. I can’t believe the risk you’re running. Besides, what’s so great about kissing?
You kissed a girl? That is so gay!
…six simple words, “I’m not gay, but I’ll learn.”
Homer (looking over DVDs at yard sale): Got any that aren’t gay porn?
Rainier Wolfcastle: Just what you see on the shelf.
That’s some outfit, Skoey. It makes you look like a homosexual.
I don’t wanna look like a weirdo. I’ll just go with a muumuu.
Dad, you cannot wear that. That’s a rastafarian hat! Wearing a Jamaican hat makes a bold statement about your connection to reggae music.