Eat around the banana, dad. It’s just empty vitamins!
Mine tasted like strawberries. Mmm, ovulicious.
Do us a favor, invent yourself some underpants
He did it because he’s stupid. That’s the only reason anybody does anything!
Quiet, you!
Now let’s forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream.
That’s of the carbon blobs from sector 7G.
Smithers, who is that lollygagger?
One of your organ doners from Sector 7G.
You can use statistics to prove anything. 41% of people know that.
Remember, kids: Trying is the first step toward failure.
Hey kids: always recycle…TO THE EXTREME!!!
<duffman>Oh yeah!</duffman>
Oh yeah? Come 'ere a minute!
Please do not offer my god a peanut!
Ah, the parenting wisdom of Homer Simpson.
“Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably! The lesson is: never try.”
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job, you don’t quit! You go in there every single day, and do it really half-assed. That’s the American Way!”
“STEALING?! How could you? Haven’t you learned anything from that guy that gives those sermons in church? Captain What’s-his-name? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to see all those Police Academy movies, for FUN? Well, I didn’t hear anyone laughing, did you? …Except at that guy who made sound effects.”
On which topic, Nelson Muntz also contributed: “Shoplifting is a victimless crime, like punching someone in the dark.” (I guess he’d know both ways)
I didn’t do it.
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.
It’s almost hypnotic.
Lousy smarch weather.