Ahhh Wolfie, don’t feel bad for losin’. I been wrestlin’ wolves since you were at your mother’s teat.
The government calls it the “army”, but a more alarmist name would be – “The Killbot Factory.”
But for that solution to work you’d have to ignore all the Simpson DNA evidence. And that would be downright nutty.
I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another, until you just wish Flanders was dead.
Homer: “Hello, my name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.”
Postal Worker: “What’s your first name, Mr Burns?”
Homer: “I…don’t know.”
flees
Homer to Billy Corgan (of the Smashing Pumpkins): “Thanks to your gloomy, depressing music, my children no longer hope for the future I can not afford to give them.”
Corgan: “Yeah, we try to make a difference.”
Astronaut: There’s no air in space.
Homer: There’s an air ‘n’ space museum.
The wars of the future will not be fought on the battlefield or at sea. They will be fought in space, or possibly on top of a very tall mountain. In either case, most of the actual fighting will be done by small robots. And as you go forth today, remember always your duty is clear: To build and maintain those robots.
Selma: C’mon, Homer! You can’t spell “obsequious” without I-O-U!
Homer: …I’ll have to trust you on that.
Nitpick: Actually is was the prison warden, who said your astronaughts line, when Marge was teaching art at a prison and one guy was really good at painting and painted a unicorn flying through space and the warden criticized it by saying your quote.
Homer: Lingo dead?
Lingo: Lingo IS dead.
Dough-nuts? I told you, I don’t like ethnic foods!
Don’t feed your sister hotels!
Baboons to the left of me, baboons to the right, the speeding locomotive tore through a sea of inhuman fangs. A pair of great apes rose up at me but BIFF, BAM, I sent them flying like two hairy footballs. A third came screaming at me, and that’s when I got mad…
Now that’s religion!
Gentlemen…to evil!
But sir, every plant and tree will die. Owls will deafen us with incessant hooting. The town’s sundial will be useless!
People die all the time, just like that! Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, good night.
Homer: Moe, I need your advice.
Moe: Yeah?
Homer: You see, I have this friend called Joey Joe Joe…Junior…Shabadoo.
Moe: That’s the worst name I ever heard. [a man in the bar leaves crying]
Barney: Hey, Joey Joe Joe!
Hello. My name is Guy Icognito.
I’m a Level 5 vegan: I don’t eat anything that casts a shadow.
They’ll never know the simple joys of a monkey knife fight.
You mean you don’t pocket-mulch?