Stream Dreams Blow up pigs and Turksploitation, a tale of Amsterdam

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

The joys of selective quoting. :wink:

I’ll respond later on in more detail. As it is, I’m at work, and it doesn’t look like there’s gonna be much playtime anytime soon. Glad you all made it home safe!

Except for hibernicus. Sweet Mother of God, what the hell?? I can honestly tell you that I’ve never heard a story like that in the four years I’ve lived in A’dam. I’ll echo the outstanding sentiments: glad you made it out in one piece. Was it just your wallet you ended up missing? Bad enough, of course, but your jewelry and your passport would have been worse. Yikes, what a story!

The rest of all y’all youse guys: thanks for thanking me - but the pleasure was all mine. You were great guests!

Twisty, should we reveal the details of your shady story? You know, the one about literature of a questionable nature, repressed sexual urges enflamed by ludicrous Guinness consumption, and a late 70’s three seater couch? :smiley:

42

Coldy -

I say again: DETAILS! I WANT DETAILS!

Does that answer yer question on revealing Twisty’s shady story?

43

Ok, let President Twisty clarify the alegations made against him…

  1. Yes, I did buy some illicit reading material in a certain section of Amsterdam.

  2. Yes, it was in my possession upon arrival at Casa Coldy.

  3. There was no indecent act performed by anyone that evening at Casa Coldy.

  4. Ajax winning 9-0 was a sight to behold.

  5. I swore I wouldn’t fall asleep, but unfortunately I did.
    I have no further comment at this time, any further questions will only be answered upon reciept of a crisp £50 pound note.
    Falc, I could tell you a lot more, but I’d only be making it up.

44

Home. Finally. Bleh! I love spending time in airports and 3 hours in Detroit hotels. More later.

P.S. Had a Blast!!!

45

Oh Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd, THAT is an understatement! Ya know that supposed 5 hour drive from Ramstein? After we got the boot off the van (good for a laugh, and I didn’t have to pay the fine), we started out on our almost 8 hour trip. I had kinda, sorta decided to take a detour through France. I won’t mention that Kraig absolutely SUCKED as a co-pilot. I would have been better off having Mr. Bean sitting shotgun. :rolleyes:

What a great time! It’s a damn good thing I was there to keep Dave and John from taking my youngest for a tatoo. It will take a while to de-corrupt the poor kid. Plans WERE being made to marry John off to my daughter until he started telling me his moves to get into ladies knickers. I gotta say though, he knows his stuff. I still think they are two of a kind, so maybe I’ll fix them up as long as I am lurking close.

Anyhow, for those of you who have never had the chance of meeting the Amsterdopers, I’ll just say that you have really missed out on meeting some wonderful people! Witty, pants peeing funny, charming, gorgeous ladies and adorable guys! (I am still not sure about two of them, since I mostly saw the backs of their heads).

We have to do it again soon! Maybe a ski trip to Utah? I’ll be seeing you soon Andy. Maybe I’ll let you kick my ass in darts. :slight_smile:

46

Okay, enough already; I wasn’t mugged, I was robbed (someone ran off with my bag which I recovered after a short, rather undignified fight in the street), I’m fine, I did not lose anything and was not injured. Lucky, yes, but all in all that part of the evening didn’t stand out as particularly strange. Thank you all very much for your concern, though!

tater, I didn’t get your mail until today, sorry!

47

**Order ! Order !! **

Let the cross-examination commence

Would you tell the Court the full names of these publications ?

In your own words, would you tell the Court why our esteemed host for the weekend – by common consensus, a man of considerable insight, judgement and integrity – would assume the purchase of said material might lead to a knuckle shuffle on his premises (as in: You’re not wanking on my couch, mate”)?

Notes taken contemporaneously state you claimed “I’m buying them for a friend”. Do you still standby this transparent tissue of lies or are you now prepared, under oath, to come clean (as it were, Matron) and acknowledge these publications were purchased for your own sordid, nee perverted use ?

Isn’t it true, Mr TwistofFate, that late Sunday evening was, in fact, the culmination of a series of cruel twists of fate that finally, inevitably and catastrophically caused you to crack, to finally fall apart. It had been after all, hadn’t it, an endless cycle of drink, falling over, only partial success with drunk Irish lasses and, finally, the realisation that a rendezvous with a certain 17 year old (name withheld for legal reasons) would not take place that led you to this act. Was that final realisation, in FACT, the final straw - a straw cast to the wind at that late hour in the squalid back streets of a city of sin and against a backdrop of pornography, sex shows, Banana Bars and naked grllls – that led you to upon the road to hell ??

Speak up Mr TwistofFate, the jury need to hear what you have to say.

48

Answer the question, mr TwistofFate. The Court awaits your explanation.

:smiley:

49

Scandal, schmandal. I already know everything, and it’s nothing to be concerned about, folks. I would say the Rollicking Adventures of hibernicus would probably make a better story. :wink:

Although there was one event that troubled me somewhat…no, troubled is not quite the word. Hmm. Funny how you just can’t think of the right words when you need them. I’m sure they will come to me soon enough.

50
  1. These publications were for friends, which were promptly delivered upon arrival at Dublin. They were not for myself, as well, not to boast or anything, but I dont really need them. President Twisty stands by his word. I did not have sexual relations on that couch.
    If we want to discuss sordid secrets…

May we ask what Mr Calling, (London), has to say for himself regarding Saturday morning, and his apparent attire for answering the door?

Can he instruct us on his cunning plan to see a show for free at a certain “establishment”?
hmm. hmmm… Curiouser and Curiouser.

Mr. Calling, please take the floor, and try not to spray the room with anything :smiley:

(Anthracite, what were you concerned about?? :))

51

:::enters witness stand, clears throat:::

Please take that bible away, I’ve brought a copy of “Triumph of the Straight Dope” instead. Not allowed ? Who’s taking an oath here, you or me ? Sheesh. Sorry, I mean Sheesh, your honour. Yeahyeahyeah, the truth and nothing but, could we move along ?

Right, this is what happened: On or about 04:00 on Sunday morning, I reluctantly approached Casa Coldy where I was unfortunate enough to share a room with the defendant. The defendant was indeed laying on the aforementioned couch, but there were no signs of wanking or wanking-like activities. Nor, for that matter, did I observe activities connected with the preparation for wanking (such as, but not limited to, removal of trousers). No jazz mags were in view, and apart from an inflatable pig, there was nothing to indicate that any activities of a libidinous character had taken place. And finally, there was no sign of post-wanking activities, the details of which I’d rather not go into. Well, your honour, the sort of activities sometimes involving Cleenex or other sorts of tissue paper. If you’d rather not know, why do you ask ?

The defendant was, as stated, sprawled on the couch, looking remarkably relaxed. However, I estimate (as a layman, but, being male and normal, a layman with - ehm - first-hand experience of wanking) that the defendant was not demonstrating any interest in said activity. As a matter of fact, I could see no sign of interest in anything at all. For instance, the defendant had shown no interest in removing his shoes before crashing on the couch. Furthermore, had the defendant demonstrated an interest for the aforementioned activity, I remain firmly convinced that he would be unable to wank worth a damn, due to a state of inebriation worthy of an Irishman around St. Patricks day.

May I leave the stand, your honour ? Thank you.

::: Leaves stand, looks around, recognizes a face and is immediately lost to the world:::

52

Thanks spiny, the cheque is in the mail.

ooops.
Next trial.
The people vs. wierddave
Trial of the two Finnish Chicks.

53

Objection, your honor. the prosecution has presented NO evidence that they have any sort of case. I move that the charges be dismissed.

54

I actually have some evidence in my wallet. :wink:

55

<…meanwhile, back to Court Room One: The People vs. TwistofFate……>

Hang on…I said HANG ON a cotton pickin’ minute !!

If ever there were two people in the world likely to collaborate their stories after the weekend they had (huh Spiny ?), it would be these two. I mean the witness was so cross-eyed by the end of Sunday, I’m surprised he could walk straight let alone ride a motorbike around Europe in a snowstorm.

There were two publications, the Defendant and Witness were alone in the room and both had the motive (in their different ways). In all probability these two ‘characters’ colluded in a DopeFest WankFest of gargantuan proportions – did the scene of crime officers check the ceiling ? .

Let the record show that the witness is unreliable, not to mention emotionally distraught and is suffering (under the particular circumstances of this case) testicals the size of basketballs.

The Prosecution rests its case on the basis that the Defendant has failed to answer a single question, choosing instead to besmirch the unstained character of the Prosecutor.

And let it be known that if the Defendant should ever use the word ‘spraying’ in the context of the Prosecutor ever again he will not be in a position to conduct the outlined sordid activities ever again :smiley:

<…meanwhile, back in Court Room Two…

56

I think we should start the TMI thread again, bearing in mind the horrendous information shared at the tabe in the Indian restaurant.

The 2 magazines were called
“Bussen”

and

“hotbabes”.

There was no besmirching Coldy’s room. you have no evidence to the contrary and your case is a joke.

You are the weakest link.

Goodbye.
:wink:

57

Oh My! :eek:

58

I think it is in everyone’s best interest that this statement is forgotten as soon as possible, if only to protect poor the messiah who didn’t know better at the time…
[sub]Not to mention poor yours truly[/sub]

59

Forget Messiah, L_C’s story is the one that blew me away, and so did the fact that Shayna and Sassy just kinda shrugged it off! My kinda wimmins!

60

Well…yes, but L_C is on trial here, so he doesn’t count. I just want to make sure here that a lot of innocent souls won’t be damaged because of all the smut that can come of such a testimony (including yours I might add, Dave, although that didn’t sound too innocent). So, out of self preservation, I think we should skip to the next part of the trial: judgement.