Eating makes me Sad
death
Another oxygenarian bytes the dust.
Dealing with difficult people
God: "Don’t Kill."
Damn, there goes my best option.
** Close to the best thing anyone’s ever said to me
Hey, I might have picked up some bug.**
The best thing anyone ever said to me: “Oops, I barfed on your shoes.”
Miss Universe contestant told to wear panties
The pie was real
As opposed to being photoshopped?
**So, uh, how do I deepthroat without gagging?
A Question of Manliness… **
You’re worried that gagging will make you look unmanly?
Job Interview Advice
getting rid of fleas
If the interview’s for an executive position you should get dipped beforehand. If it’s for a tech support job I wouldn’t bother.
**This isn’t how these social interactions go
Godwinned at a family dinner **
**I ordered tacos today
I think I need to call a plumber **
Did Sir find the food a little too piquante for his tastes?
<Eddie Izzard>Ou est le singe de ma tante? Il est dans l’égout!</EI>
I think I need to call a plumber
My Former Step-Son Called Me After 7 Years
I thought he’d moved in with his mom. Turns out he was stuck in the U-bend. I don’t even want to think of how my feces made it from the bowl to the sewer with him in the way. (Why did I have to watch the South Park ‘Humancentipad’ episode?) At least he didn’t starve. Well, I finally heard him yelling. I have an Armitage Shanks toilet, so I crank Green Day when I’m in there. Fortunately for the step-son, my MP3 player got corrupted and I had to evacuate in silence. Anyway, I couldn’t get him out. Time to turn to a professional. I don’t know if the plumber will try to get him out with a snake (‘rooter’) or try to force him down the other way. I’ll let him figure it out. That’s why they make the big bucks.
**My new philosophy is:
I am going to learn French.
**
Gay marriage and HIV
Help me figure out what to wear to this wedding
I have several cups of crumbled bacon - recipes?
Blackberries, apples
Yum, sounds interesting so far. Please, go on.
What would it take to turn you gay?
L. Ron Hubbard
Well, it worked for Tom Cruise and John Travolta. 
**Sean Connery in a Wedding Dress
Activity for Girl’s Birthday Party **
I think this might be a poor idea
What should I do in Durham, NC?
What would it take to turn you gay?
Geez, I was just thinking of going to the Duke football game and then maybe out to dinner…
**Are you planning to be buried?
Ask a Juror
**
I take it this trial is in Chicago?
Gordon Ramsey Lookalike Dwarf Porn Star Dragged Into Deep Burrow and Eaten By Badgers
Weird/disturbing google autofill suggsestions (TMI)
Hard to say who’s more upset, Gordon Ramsey or badgers.
Ask a Juror
Do you want the date you’ll die?
What? This isn’t the penalty phase of the trial yet. Hell, I haven’t even been found guilty! :eek:
Activity for Girl’s Birthday Party
What is the most painful thing you can think of
Have birthday parties changed since I was a kid? What happened to cake and ice cream?