On Tuesday morning, there was a knock on my door. It was someone from the Sheriff’s office with subpoena’s for me and mudgirl to appear in court on Thursday (tomorrow) for Punk 2’s hearing. I was able to speak to the ASA (I believe I may have referred to her as the ADA in past posts; I was mistaken; she is the Assistant State’s Attorney, not District). The hearing will not proceed as of now because, get this: Punk 2 still doesn’t have a freakin’ attorney!
The ASA told me that what will happen tomorrow is that Punk’s mother will be charged with contempt of court and will be re-arrested (!) and Punk will most likely be removed from her custody and put into foster care.
Apparently, the excuse his mother gives for not having gotten him an attorney yet is that she has some kind of head injury that affects her short-term memory and she “can’t remember anything”. I say if her memory is that bad, she shouldn’t even be trusted with the care of a child!
The ASA also said, while we were on the phone, that Punk 1’s father is a real jerk (I could tell she wanted to say “asshole” but thought it would be unprofessional), and she herself wanted to go over to his table and punch him in the face. Go, team!
I have found mudgirl a new counselor, who specializes in children of sexual abuse and uses a lot of “play therapy”. I had an intake interview with the practice today, and mudgirl has her first appointment with her on Monday.
One of the issues I will approach with this new counselor is to decide whether a civil suit against Punk 1 and his family would be good for her, or detrimental.
Please continue to keep us in your thoughts/prayers!
Right…that’s the sort of excuse she can’t just use when she feels like it. If it’s genuine, then it helps explain why the kid is getting in trouble and why the kid should be entrusted to her; if it isn’t, it sounds like perjury. I’m guessing the latter…it sounds like the lie of a bad liar.
That’s great! It’s so much better to have someone who believes in your cause rather than someone who’s just doing the job perfunctorily.
You’re dealing admirably with your daughter being sexually abused, and this woman apparently can’t be bothered to write “GET ATTORNEY FOR BRAT” on a Post-It note and slap it on the fridge. Kinda sums up this whole thing, really.
It’s more likely that she knows he can’t go to trial until he has an attorney and she’s trying to keep that from happening. Her options are apparently running out, though.
I just have to say that you have got to be one of the more awesome people I have ever heard about, norinew, and I don’t know whether I have ever even read a post of yours before these threads, so that isn’t coming from other interactions here or elsewhere.
I would be proud to know you, and if I were in your vicinity I would want your daughter to be a mentor to mine.
You got it! Ya know, I pity Punk 2 in all this when even his own mother can’t be bothered to look after him (at least Punk1’s father, while an asshole, is there). Doesn’t even REMOTELY excuse any of what went on that day, but jeez. If the arrest / foster care happens, I sure hope the boy gets the help he needs to learn that he can’t DO crap like this.
Do you and Mudgirl really have to be there for the contempt thing? I was confused (you were being subpoena’ed for a hearing, but it can’t really take place?). or do you have to show up, pretending there’ll be representation, and the contempt/arrest will be what happens when she doesn’t have an attorney?
Like you, I feel sorry for Punk 2. Though there is no evidence to this end, I’m certain, in my heart, that the whole thing was engineered by Punk 1.
No, mudgirl and I don’t have to be there for the contempt thing. That will be between the ASA and/court, and Punk 2/his mother.
What the ASA expects to happen is exactly what happened with Punk 1: the ASA will recommend that sentencing be suspended pending a complete eval by a certified psych-sexual psychologist. In that case, just like Punk 1, we will not have to be there for the hearing, but will have the ‘right’ to be there for the sentencing hearing, to give a Victim Impact Statement.
Only if Punk 2’s attorney demands a hearing (unlikely since Punk 2 already admitted guilt) will mudgirl and I be required to be at the initial hearing.
I, myself, don’t mind so much having to be at the hearing. I’d like to spare my daughter the experience, if I can.
Given all that, I am keeping her informed and updated so she knows that things are progressing, and, God willing, justice is being served.
Well, JayJay’s guess is a possibility. Your observation that it is destined for failure is only a mark in the column of "I’ll take ‘not very bright parents for $500.00, Alex’ ".
Norinew, I’ve been busy lately and didn’t find this thread until this evening. I’ve read it all at once, and I want to add my hugs and support. Thanks for keeping us updated. You’re doing great!
Wow. I found this thread for the first time just now. After looking it over, I’m impressed.
norinew: you sound like you have a great head on your shoulders. If something like this happened to any kid of mine, I can only hope that I’d approach the situation as sensibly. A kid in mudgirl’s position needs wonderwoman for a mother, and she may just have her :). Also, you’re winning points in heaven (or personally relevant equivalent) for feeling sorry for punk 2. Cases like his remind me to be extra nice to my parents to thank them for not raising me to be a societal nightmare.
One additional point, and I’d like to preface this one by saying that, though I am a psychologist, I am completely and totally not THIS kind of psychologist. With that caveat:
Kids are resilient as hell. A one time event can hurt a child, but the real concern is long term patterns of behavior. From everything you’ve said, your daughter has a stable and supportive home life and parents who are alert to danger. I would expect that most children who are repeatedly abused do NOT have that benefit. Though children who are abused in the past are more likely than others to be abused in the future, that is largely due to the very factors that led to their first victimization (your own experience sounds relevant to this point, for which I am sorry). To the extent that this attack was a freak occurrence, it would suggest good things about your daughter’s emotional recovery and future safety.
Here is something that hasn’t come up yet and might put a wrinkle in that more reassuring picture. What kind of neighborhood is this? at the moment it seems clear that there are two families living in close proximity to you that are dysfunctional to the point of severe dangerousness. Are there more? You’ve talked about trying to get the parents of punks 1 and 2 to wake up and smell the coffee, but I would also take a hard look down the street to make sure there aren’t punks 3-N waiting in the wings.
It is a lower-class neighborhood. I would say that me and my closest IRL friend (who lives right up the street) are exceptions in this neighborhood in that our families don’t receive any form of public assistance. However, I would say that a majority of the parents in this neighborhood really try to do the best they can for their kids.
Still, we’re looking at moving out of here in the not-too-distant future. We’re in the process of pulling equity out of our house so we can fix it up and sell or rent it. Then we will look for a place in the country. Mudgirl is a country girl at heart. She loves all manner of wildlife, being outside, climbing trees, getting dirty (hey, the name ‘mudgirl’ was no accident! ), and hubby is very private and would like to be somewhere where the neighbors aren’t close enough to reach out and touch!
Moving out would be a great option I think- it would prevent you from having to deal with repercussion from the punks and their families in the future.
I really do wish your family the best in its recovery. That being said and not to derail the thread, you’ve mentioned filing a civil suit, but I don’t think you’ve actually taken costs into consideration. In all honesty, whether it would be good for your child, what her therapists thinks, etc might very well be irrelevant if you can’t bankroll the litigation. Civil litigation of this sort will cost you tens (perhaps even hundreds) of thousands of dollars. If you’re counting on a lawyer taking it on a contingency fee, I would think again. No lawyer in his right mind is going to take a case on contingency against a broke defendant. Unless the Punk family has homeowner’s insurance that would cover this (I doubt such coverage exists – intentional torts are generally excluded from coverage, but maybe that changes when it’s a kid – but, I’m not the expert on claims coverage), there is no there there. That might not matter to you, but it sure as hell will matter to the lawyer who does this sort of stuff to put food on the table, pay bills, etc. Perhaps you could proceed pro se in a next-friend capacity (I don’t know), but this is not simple “small claims” type stuff.
I don’t feel like you’re derailing the thread. But honestly, if mudgirl’s therapist thinks that pursuing a civil suit would be detrimental to her, then the cost is irrelevant. If the therapist thinks the civil suit is a good idea, then we’ll price it out, and make a decision from there. If it turns out to be financially not feasible, we won’t do it. But thanks for the input!
That’s a good question, and I don’t know the answer, although if we’d been on vacation, the subpoenas would have been undeliverable (you have to sign for them), so the courts would know we didn’t get ours. I do know that the ASA said the reason we got such short notice is that, in Juvenile Court, their goal is to move the offender from first interview (in which Punk 2 admitted guilt) to hearing in 60 days or less, so they were really pushing it through in hopes of meeting that goal. Now, it’s obviously not going to happen.
), and hubby is very private and would like to be somewhere where the neighbors aren’t close enough to reach out and touch!